B&B Member's Classic Quotes

[soapbox]

Posted by 1OldGI over in this thread (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=85122):


Quite frankly, I find it hard to believe claims that "advancements" in razors were brought about by consumer demands.


+1 but you never know, someone may have called up and been like, "Hello, Gillette, I'm getting real tired of reasonably priced blades that do a great job, don't make my face break out and leave me presentable for at least 18 hours. When are you guys gonna get with the program and make some plastic cartridge with 10 blades that costs $8 each. This way, the damage can be done in just one pass. These should leave my face full of bumps nicks and razor burn and by lunch time I'd like to look like I live in the woods. Do you think you guys could help me out?"

Well done! :biggrin1:

[rabidpotatochip]

Posted by 1OldGI over in this thread (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=85122):





Well done! :biggrin1:

+1. That's hilarious. :biggrin:

[blackfoot]

Another great, courtesy of Limecat.


Eagles may soar but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

[OldSaw]

I like this one by eric.huntley, concerning the new bus stop near his mailbox.


Here's some pictures of the Hippie Aquarium (bus stop shelter) with my mail box next to it.

Hippie Aquarium, that cracks me up.



.

[SRock]

This is a thread not a 12 volume book deal....:biggrin:

Yeah Chip you bandwidth/memory devouring machine! :lol:

[TimmyBoston]

I fel out of no chaior!......R-James.........:lol:

My personal favorite.

[blackfoot]

My brother when he was little went to the bathroom after having handled some serranos... He came screaming out of there like a rocket on fire not knowing what was wrong... Needless to say, he was difficult to potty train... :lol:

This makes me want to cry. :lol::lol::lol::lol:

[soapbox]

From this thread (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=93850):


No joke, the best comparison I can make to this shave is my first shot with my Feather AC. Butchery, but some pretty impressive shaving between the wounds.

[SRock]

From this thread (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1292556#post1292556):


The first one (along with the newest Indiana Jones movie) were ruined by Shia LeBeouf for me. And I swear to God if my name was "Shia LeBeouf" I would either kill myself, my parents or change my name.

[pal]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kratos
It's a myth, man, it's a myth! I used to chow down on carrots like Bugs Bunny, and I am nearsighted as a rhino.

This guy is hilarious!

[Antique Hoosier]

"I am Stan-The- Man there is another person whom just joined our group as Stan the Man.

will the moderator do something about this

Please pm me

This is for the moderator or others that can stop this confusion."

[Kratos]

This guy is hilarious!

Nahh, I just get a lucky shot every now and then! Thanks. I was gonna put Rob's quote in, but we were busy last night. At least I was.

1OldGI's was pure palladium. If And Stan the Man...just...wow. Really? All the confusion?

[Lynchmeister]

"I am Stan-The- Man there is another person whom just joined our group as Stan the Man.

will the moderator do something about this

Please pm me

This is for the moderator or others that can stop this confusion."

When this all went down, I just about died. :lol: Wasn't it someone's comment to the effect, "That's weird, sometimes my friends refer to me as the man named Stan" that really set him off? :lol:

I have to go search for that thread. :biggrin:

EDIT: I just found and reread the thread...that was awesome. My favorite was the To Do list picture. :lol:

[JimBow]

I think I just pooed a little.... :drool: - JimBow

Wow, only 800 posts and I'm already being quoted...I need to step it up though. I don't want to be remembered at the Poo Guy...:001_rolle

[RichGem]

Wow, only 800 posts and I'm already being quoted...I need to step it up though. I don't want to be remembered at the Poo Guy...:001_rolle

More importantly, start praying that a mod doesn't notice. :eek:

[JimBow]

More importantly, start praying that a mod doesn't notice. :eek:

Oh the HUMANITY!!! An eternity known as that?!?? I need some new material, ASAP!:eek:

[ouch]

"I am Stan-The- Man there is another person whom just joined our group as Stan the Man.

will the moderator do something about this

Please pm me

This is for the moderator or others that can stop this confusion."

When I think of classic B&B threads, this and Springs1 are the top two.

[rabidpotatochip]

When I think of classic B&B threads, this and Springs1 are the top two.

Any chance for a link? :biggrin:

[TstebinsB]

"I am Stan-The- Man there is another person whom just joined our group as Stan the Man.

will the moderator do something about this

Please pm me

This is for the moderator or others that can stop this confusion."

This makes me laugh every time.

[TstebinsB]

Any chance for a link? :biggrin:

http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=19512

[Sullybob]

"I am Stan-The- Man there is another person whom just joined our group as Stan the Man.

will the moderator do something about this

Please pm me

This is for the moderator or others that can stop this confusion."

Pure comedy gold.

"I Am Very Serious Take My Name Of The Rolls Of Your Forum As Of Now. I Am 64 Years Of Age And Have BEEN CALLED Always Stan The Man.

To Me This Is Not A Joke. "

[rabidpotatochip]

"I remember once I was shocked to find that there was someone on the internet with the same name as me. And I didn't even know them! We never even met!" :lol::lol::lol:

[ClubmanRob]

That is singlehandedly the funniest, most bizarre thing I've ever read on an internet forum. Kudos to Stan the Banned and the guys that dug this up for making my day.

[Henrique]

http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=19512

Thank you very much. This is priceless. :smile:

[RichGem]

"I remember once I was shocked to find that there was someone on the internet with the same name as me. And I didn't even know them! We never even met!" :lol::lol::lol:

There's more than one Rabidpotatochip (:eek:) or there's more than one S.A. (given name) (:eek: :eek:)?

Either way, what are the chances of that?! Play the lottery now!

[gollum83]

There's more than one Rabidpotatochip (:eek:) or there's more than one S.A. (given name) (:eek: :eek:)?

Either way, what are the chances of that?! Play the lottery now!

Well rabies can and does spread, although until recently I wasn't sure potato chips could catch it. So anything is entirely possible. :rolleyes:

[SavantStrike]

It wasn't supposed to be funny, and the tutorial was great but this one just reminds me of all the times the teacher had to tell the class the same thing in grade school.


Do not touch the cutting edge with the cloth directly - instead to make sure it is dry, do a very light "stropping" on the towel...

[TstebinsB]

I miss those posts by moderators about a thread that had been moved. It's completely mundane but they always cracked me up. It was like the voice of God.

"Moved to Shaving Soaps."
"Moved to the Shopping forum."

Classic. :tongue_sm

[burnwood]

http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=19512

Holy, tears, actual tears coming from laughing at this.

[SavantStrike]

I miss those posts by moderators about a thread that had been moved. It's completely mundane but they always cracked me up. It was like the voice of God.

"Moved to Shaving Soaps."
"Moved to the Shopping forum."

Classic. :tongue_sm

Especially the ones Ouch moves :lol:.

[TstebinsB]

Stop the expensive razor madness..... just stop it.

BYLMTvxOaeE

[Brodirt]

Guys...thank for the Stan the Man history. I don't think I would have believed that to be real if I were witnessing it. Brilliant!

[VR6ofpain]

Originally Posted by AbeScromsbie:
"She said the Clubman smells like an old man at church with hair growing out of his ears. I told her that's the look I'm going for."

This used to be in my sig. Too good.

[SRock]

Originally Posted by AbeScromsbie:
"She said the Clubman smells like an old man at church with hair growing out of his ears. I told her that's the look I'm going for."

This used to be in my sig. Too good.

I got a laugh out of this one every time I saw it! :lol:

[SRock]

From the Lilac Vegetal thread:

"And then again, Lilac Vegetal may be dog cologne." - wilsonent

[SRock]

From the Foie Gras thread:

"Its both delicious and cruel - I love the stuff and [B]my rationalization is that if geese had larger brains and opposable thumbs, they'd not hesitate to turn our livers into a yummy snack." - Suzuki

:lol::lol::lol:

[blackfoot]

From the Foie Gras thread:

"Its both delicious and cruel - I love the stuff and [B]my rationalization is that if geese had larger brains and opposable thumbs, they'd not hesitate to turn our livers into a yummy snack." - Suzuki

:lol::lol::lol:

I like this. :lol::lol::lol:

[SRock]

Lou in his Gem Jr. PIF Thread:

"People appreciate the service rendered and the honor given to this nation more than you will know, and more than mere words and action can state..

Our freedoms are a testament to your vigilance, your courage, your bravery and selflessness.

There may be a few eager to criticize, there are some who wish they could have served, and there are many who will be forever grateful."

Wow, brother, just wow!

[blackfoot]

From Scoopster:


When all else fails kick the dwarf until something happens.

[gollum83]

From Scoopster:

When all else fails kick the dwarf until something happens.

Where did he say that? And what if the drawf is dead? :lol::lol:

[blackfoot]

Where did he say that? And what if the drawf is dead? :lol::lol:

Here. (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=21680&page=6)

[blackfoot]

This is in response to someone that was not going to try a razor before PIFing it. This should not be soon forgotten.


A PIF is always a grand idea, but c'mon, just one little ol' shave.

I was a Gillette guy, even though I fooled around with those funky injectors.

It's not like that Krona's gonna own ya. Maybe.

I'm not going to ditch the Red Tip, or flush the 40's Super Speeds, or put all my Gillettes up for sale.

I can even see a guy saying, "Nope, not going to pick one of those damn Schick TTO copycat things lamely named after Swedish currency. Who the Hell shaves with that, that Muppet chef?"

But, you got a brace of 'em on hand, and to walk away without popping a blade in there and finding out for yourself borders on willful ignorance.

Think of all the willfully ignorant zombies out there, scraping the ReddiWip off their slack cheeks with a cartridge razor. You broke free of that mental bondage. You have proved yourself to be a man who can think outside those five blades, who can cast aside name brands and prejudices in the quest for the pure, clear zen that is possible only with the tools or yore.

Do it, because the the eyes of generations of past wet shavers are upon us. Do it because in your heart, you know any DE razor deserves a fair shake. Do it because that's why they raised that flag on Iwo Jima. Do it because the Swedish Chef would want you to.

Do it because someday, years from now, when old age has begun to close the curtain around your long and happy life, when your family gathers around to bid you farewell, and you draw someone dear to you close to impart one last message from this mortal existence, it won't be -

"I should have tried the Krona".

[Vvalters]

Oh, that's good. The bit about Iwo Jima was an especially nice touch. :ouch1:

[rsvossen]

GoldenMonkey replying to a scientific thread about shaving :wink: (found here (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=95098&highlight=simple+smooth&page=3))


I've found that a mixture of battery acid, thermite, vinegar, borax, and cask strength bourbon, applied with Richard Pryor's flaming crack pipe does wonders for removing the hair from my face...of course, as with all things B&B, your mileage may vary...

[wimbouman]

Holds enough water to take care of several thirsty camels!
DeaconKC

[SRock]

GoldenMonkey replying to a scientific thread about shaving :wink: (found here (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=95098&highlight=simple+smooth&page=3))

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Luc]

:lol:

keep them coming!

[SRock]

The worse part is the fish getting in your pants

:lol:

[blackfoot]

:lol:

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[soapbox]

:lol:


:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

I knew that was coming. Good call, Rob. :biggrin:

[SRock]

I knew that was coming. Good call, Rob. :biggrin:

:biggrin:

[gollum83]

I thought this one from Tomgumby upon describing his recent first experience with Lilac Vegetal was particularly good:


Calil Lategev must be a Lovecraft god that rules a realm of earwax, nice flowers and accidental secretions. I'm kind of digging it.

:lol::lol::lol:

[GoldenMonkey]

GoldenMonkey replying to a scientific thread about shaving :wink: (found here (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=95098&highlight=simple+smooth&page=3))

OMG! I made the list! Awesome! :w00t:

[40_Caliber]

Omg roflol....


has anyone told al gore? Are we going to require catalytic converters on cows now? :lol::lol:

[RILEY]

Aqua Velva's breeze blows across my face like a Himalayan wind rattles through a shanty town on the edge of the abyss. Once lost and desolate, I now find my muse in a blue bottle that keeps no secrets and tells no lies. Its truth is that of the everyman: sweat of the brow, calloused hands and feet, skidmarked undershorts, and hemorrhoidal bowel movements. Like the North Star to a wayward gold miner lost at night, far from home, hunted by wolves and parched by thirst, Aqua Velva's scrumtrulescence guides me, chides me, rides me, wines me, dines me, and sixty-nines me. Welcome, old friend, to the fold. At peace, now, am I.

Oh, I almost forgot...It smells Monday in a way that makes Rive Gauche look like a drag queen on stilettos.

:w00t: :lol::lol::lol:

[blackfoot]

From Proof the world was better 50 years ago (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=116568)


Nothing ruins my day more than getting a DEAD monkey in the mail.

[soapbox]

From "Critique my Bigelow Lather (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=117578)":




That's not a lather! I've seen thicker lather coming from an underfed poodle with rabies! That lather is weak and worthless!

What in blazes did you use to make that lather with, a jelly-freaking-donut?

Look at the size of those bubbles! Are you trying to make bubbles large enough to shelter homeless shavers in? The only cushion in that lather is the sofa cushion you should hide that disgusting excuse for lather under!


(Actually, it looks great, but you asked for a critique...)

[blackfoot]

From "Critique my Bigelow Lather (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=117578)":

That's funny. :lol:

[King of Kailua]

From "Critique my Bigelow Lather (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=117578)": (topgumby)

:laugh:

[thunderball]

I figure about half of Topgumby's posts deserve to be in here...consistently classic he is! :thumbup:

[Swampfox]

I figure about half of Topgumby's posts deserve to be in here...consistently classic he is! :thumbup:

I agree, Master Yoda. But do you think he is ready for the training?

[SRock]

Good to see this thread getting a bump! I haven't been here in a while.

[blackfoot]

Good to see this thread getting a bump! I haven't been here in a while.

Do you realise how hard it was to find? I laughed and laughed at DSB's comment and decided it had to be here. But it took a while to find.

[soapbox]

Since nobody else elected to, I'll post this second recent jewel from topgumby, from the "Most thread replies from 2009 members? (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=118107&page=2)" thread:


"Today, you people are no longer Fusion maggots. Today, you are Wet Shavers. You're part of a brotherhood. From now on until the day you die, wherever you are, every Wet Shaver is your brother. Most of you will go to Badger and Blade. Some of you will not come back. But always remember this: Wet Shavers die. That's what we're here for. But Wet Shaving lives forever. And that means YOU live forever."

[Ru4scuba?]

I love this thread!

[blackfoot]

Since nobody else elected to, I'll post this second recent jewel from topgumby, from the "Most thread replies from 2009 members? (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=118107&page=2)" thread:

I am going to have to check that thread out. :thumbup:

[soapbox]

I am going to have to check that thread out. :thumbup:

The thread has actually gotten neat and somewhat philosophical.

[Sullybob]

Since nobody else elected to, I'll post this second recent jewel from topgumby, from the "Most thread replies from 2009 members? (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=118107&page=2)" thread:

I'm having flash backs of R. Lee Ermey!

[SRock]

Do you realise how hard it was to find? I laughed and laughed at DSB's comment and decided it had to be here. But it took a while to find.


I'm having flash backs of R. Lee Ermey!

Gotta love the Gunny!

[dpm802]

From "Tabac - How long will a bowl last" (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/search.php?searchid=6624956)


I have marriages that didn't last as long as a puck of Tabac.

[warlandsboy]

HIlarious thread!

[blackfoot]

From Man Rules (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=129766&highlight=burps+bacon).


Nothing burps better than bacon.

[GoldenMonkey]

This just needs to be here, because it was one of the greatest things I've ever read on B&B, and it's from our Philosopher Emeritus and Poet Laureate, The Nid Hog, in the Tabac (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=118332) thread:

"I'm not going to line up to kick you, my friend. Badger and Blade is a great tent and there is room inside for all. Within its vast walls one can find the creamers and the soapers, the straights and the doubles. There are those who beat their lather in bowls and those who slap it onto their faces. But there are some, those adventurous souls who seek the margins, who stand where the flaps snap in the wind. These are the heirs to Leif Ericson and Captain Cook. These are men who would have ridden with the Mangudai warriors, who would have stood with Roland and Oliver, yes--those who would have taken their place at Thermopylae or Chosin. These are men who dare to blend tallow with Cinnamon, who laugh in the face of Dermatitis or a scent that would make a disco King blanch. These are the brave men of Badger and Blade who throw caution to the wind, who blaze the path that others may perhaps follow. The champions who fire men's dreams. And, my friend, these are the men with whom I have thrown my lot.

Join me tonight my brothers as we strike lather from the cake of Tabac! Tonight we ride the lightning!"

[blackfoot]

This just needs to be here, because it was one of the greatest things I've ever read on B&B, and it's from our Philosopher Emeritus and Poet Laureate, The Nid Hog, in the Tabac (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=118332) thread:

"I'm not going to line up to kick you, my friend. Badger and Blade is a great tent and there is room inside for all. Within its vast walls one can find the creamers and the soapers, the straights and the doubles. There are those who beat their lather in bowls and those who slap it onto their faces. But there are some, those adventurous souls who seek the margins, who stand where the flaps snap in the wind. These are the heirs to Leif Ericson and Captain Cook. These are men who would have ridden with the Mangudai warriors, who would have stood with Roland and Oliver, yes--those who would have taken their place at Thermopylae or Chosin. These are men who dare to blend tallow with Cinnamon, who laugh in the face of Dermatitis or a scent that would make a disco King blanch. These are the brave men of Badger and Blade who throw caution to the wind, who blaze the path that others may perhaps follow. The champions who fire men's dreams. And, my friend, these are the men with whom I have thrown my lot.

Join me tonight my brothers as we strike lather from the cake of Tabac! Tonight we ride the lightning!"

Excellent! I don't know what he was getting us to do, but I am ready to do it! :001_cool:

[dpm802]

From the thread "HOLY MOLY!! Kiss My Face BLINDSIDED ME!!" (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=134389)


Picked up Kiss My Face unscented shave cream at a local grocery store. It doesn't look like much, I didn't know it comes in a pump style container, so it almost looks like hand lotion. It's the frumpiest, most unmanly looking shave cream I have ever laid eyes on. I have read some things that others have written about it, but I hadn't really given it much thought, I just picked it up because it was on sale and wanted to have a larger variety of creams to choose from when shaving plus it looks like something my wife might use.

Well, rock my cradle and call me baby! This stuff is really, really, really, really good! I mean really good. Top shelf. Numero uno. The King of Kings. EL Supremo de Grande ala Excellente. I'm stupefied. Just didn't expect it to be so darn good.

Why is it so good?

First off, it's slicker than deer gut on a doorknob.
Second, it lathers more than a rabid dog chewing alka-seltzer.
Third, it has more cushion than a sofa factory.
Fourth, it gives your face more protection than a welder's mask.
Fifth, it's so cheap, I paid with a penny and got change.
Sixth, It smells so good, it doesn't even need a scent.
Seventh, its so good that my brush asked me if I could shave him.
Eighth, its so good, I sent Proraso a "Dear John" letter.
Ninth, Its so good, my face left me for it.
Tenth, Its so good the letters BBS send fan mail to the letters KMF.

What do you gentlemen think?

[blackfoot]

From the thread "HOLY MOLY!! Kiss My Face BLINDSIDED ME!!" (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=134389)

:lol::lol::lol:

[Topgumby]

From the thread "HOLY MOLY!! Kiss My Face BLINDSIDED ME!!" (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=134389)

Baba should not hold his feelings back like that...

[Bruche]

my personal favorite of my own here:



the irony of course is that my goto blade is now the feather. :)

That's hilarious!

[GoldenMonkey]

I need to step up my game...although my wife already thinks I spend a retarculous amount of time on B&B as it is, I need to deliver a truly inspired Dostoevskian effort and get a mention here in this thread. Sometimes I think blackfoot is the only one who thinks I'm funny...but he'll :lol::lol::lol: at anything, :lol:.

[gollum83]

I need to step up my game...although my wife already thinks I spend a retarculous amount of time on B&B as it is, I need to deliver a truly inspired Dostoevskian effort and get a mention here in this thread. Sometimes I think blackfoot is the only one who thinks I'm funny...but he'll :lol::lol::lol: at anything, :lol:.

Blake is just easy that's all. :laugh:

[Topgumby]

Some folks manage to spout out some classic quotes, but given an infinite amount of monkeys suffering from tourette's syndrome....

The GoldenMonkey is a classic merely by being. We don't need no pesky Dostoevski to see the GoldenMonkey is superfunky.

[blackfoot]

I need to step up my game...although my wife already thinks I spend a retarculous amount of time on B&B as it is, I need to deliver a truly inspired Dostoevskian effort and get a mention here in this thread. Sometimes I think blackfoot is the only one who thinks I'm funny...but he'll :lol::lol::lol: at anything, :lol:.

:lol::lol::lol:.....Hey! :mad3:




You sir, could have your own thread. If it makes you feel any better, I've never been quoted in here either.

[GoldenMonkey]

Blake - "Great things are done when men and mountains meet."

er...wait a sec...wrong Blake...

Blake, in about 15,000 different posts: ":lol::lol::lol:"

There, you made it Blackie!

[blackfoot]

Blake - "Great things are done when men and mountains meet."

er...wait a sec...wrong Blake...

Blake, in about 15,000 different posts: ":lol::lol::lol:"

There, you made it Blackie!

LMAO, but I can't use the LOL dudes.

[Swampfox]

What's this all about?

[gollum83]

What's this all about?

You.

[Swampfox]

You.

Cool. I feel special. :001_tt1:

[Sullybob]

I need to step up my game...although my wife already thinks I spend a retarculous amount of time on B&B as it is, I need to deliver a truly inspired Dostoevskian effort and get a mention here in this thread. Sometimes I think blackfoot is the only one who thinks I'm funny...but he'll :lol::lol::lol: at anything, :lol:.

You want to live in infamy? :001_smile Or do you just want to replace your custom title?

[GFlanagan3]

Cool. I feel special. :001_tt1:

good the men in white coats are on their way..just sit tight

[Haber Dashing]

I got some used TOBS rose this week. I just went for it.

The brush is clean when it goes in the tub right? Its not like someone is sticking their twig and berries in the tub and then lathering.


I've heard of English rose, English tea, and even putting cream in English tea. But this is the first time I've heard of tea-bagging English rose cream.


Well no.. Not in the TOBS rose, but one shouldn't underestimate the joy of a Proraso buzz on one's dangly bits.


You get one of those razors, spend a good chunk of your time cleaning it, money on the cleaning supplies, tooth brush, etc. then the razor doesn't quite agree with your face so it's back on BST, you tack on $5 because it's in better shape and you try to barely recover the cost of the cleaning supplies, forget your elbow grease, that has no monetary value. Next you get a nasty PM from the original seller that you are trying to turn a profit on it and how it's uncool and you're not gentleman!


If he did that, I'd out him. :cool:


If he did that, I'd send him some Twig and Berries soap.


This was by far the funniest thread I ran across in the forum
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1765992#post1765992

[SRock]

Isn't this thread about classic quotes? Lets try and keep this one limited to quotes. There are other areas of the CH for mindless discussion. :thumbsup:

[Argonaut]

This was by far the funniest thread I ran across in the forum
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1765992#post1765992

That's hillarious, I just had to come up with some B.S. to explain to my employer what I was laughing about.

Blackfoot, I'm honored you quoted me in here! First I find out I have a new title, now I find this. Monumentous day for me indeed. For the record, I like your lol's.:thumbup:

[Coleman]

Just saw this one by flycbyrd:

Doctor doctor, help i think im suffering from a
disorder more like a disease. All i can do is think
about what new shaving products i can acquire;
the sad part doctor is that i know i am unemployed
but this beast of a disease has overtaken me, yes i know
i am unable to fill my desires of gathering these products
but that doesnt stop me from hunting; doctor i have very
severe symptoms listen to this, shaving has consumed 90%
of my day everyday and i only shave every other day;but
yet i find myself carrying a brush handle in my pocket, all
i smell is lather; i day dream about the way the bristle
feels on my face and then the smell of pinaud clubman
takes the lathers place, i think im losing my mind;
no doctor that is not just it, i havent gotten any
sleep in days my eyes are red and glazed, all i do is
sit on my bed on badger and blade, and if not there
im shopping online im afraid.... what should i do?, i exclaimed
the doctor just looked at me with a grin and said son i feel
your pain.... oh sorry doctor but i have to leave as i have
no time to waste, i must get home without post-haste for today
is the day i shave

[blackfoot]

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

[blackfoot]

We must act now!


I think that B&B should collectively invest in a storage bunker somewhere up above the Arctic Circle. Like the Fortress of Solitude or the facilities where they stockpile seeds. We can load it with tallow soaps while they last. Companies like M&W can just ship things directly up there. I suppose a couple of the mods will have to relocate there too, just to keep things running and maintain security. If we pick our spot well, we could have on-site geothermal power that would let us shift the B&B servers up there and maybe even run a jumbo smoker too. When the Shavepocalypse starts, we'll all make our way up there. After that, it's reindeer steaks and BBS shaves until the lights go out.

[Topgumby]

The Nid Hog is a treasure trove of classic quotes.

[Sullybob]

The Nid Hog is a treasure trove of classic quotes.

So are you.

[Swampfox]

The Nid Hog is a treasure trove of classic quotes.

Currently, you are my siggy.

[blackfoot]

Currently, you are my siggy.

:thumbup1:

[Bobtrumpet]

The Nid Hog is a treasure trove of classic quotes.


So are you.

No kidding! Neither Topgumby nor The Nid Hog fail to disappoint. :w00t:

[blackfoot]

I think that running something past the WIFEDOM for the thumbs-up is anti-MANDOM.

The MANDOM way would be to purchase said after shave with crumpled bills, splash it on like it was water and you were about to spontaneously combust, then boldly go home, whip your shirt around the your head three times before tossing it across the room and announce that even though the Olympics are over, the real games are about to begin.

Won't her bridge club be impressed? :lol:

Enough said. :thumbup1:

[Stubblefield]

I need to step up my game...although my wife already thinks I spend a retarculous amount of time on B&B as it is, I need to deliver a truly inspired Dostoevskian effort and get a mention here in this thread. Sometimes I think blackfoot is the only one who thinks I'm funny...but he'll :lol::lol::lol: at anything, :lol:.Dude, you are quite funny. Even funnier in person.

One of my recent favorites:



Lilac Veg without Cat Herding is like living without food. And living without food is like starving.

[Luc]

Just got a good one...


looks like a translucent bull's testicle . .

[blackfoot]

Just got a good one...

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[soapbox]

Just got a good one...


:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Thread link, please? This I gotta see.

[Luc]

Thread link, please? This I gotta see.

Here it is...

http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=90130

I didn't edit the quote :lol:

[oscarbowman]

Don't know who said it. It was only a few days ago and I can't find it but I thought it was both strangely appropriate and amusing. :lol:

Anyhow....on the subject of why we started DE/Traditional/wet shaving in the first place.

"I needed a hobby so why not my face!"

[Swampfox]

Topgumby is full of memorable material as always.


Well The Veg does smell like Old Spice, if you mean like Old Spice would smell if you splashed it on while buck naked, then rolled around in the recycle bin behind the funeral home where they dumped the flowers from last week, along with who knows what else, then grabbed a pugil stick and worked yourself up to a battle frenzy, charged down a hundred yard long obstacle course defended by heavily powdered grannies, where at the end, after KOing all the little old ladies and dashing through the resulting clouds of talc and false teeth flying everywhere, you made it to the end and had to slash open a yak's bladder filled with cat pee suspended over your head with a Clauss USMC straight razor while screaming "I ROCK THE VEG!!!".

Not that I've ever dreamed about that, or anything.

[blackfoot]

Topgumby is full of memorable material as always.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

That is too hilarious! It was especially funny when I read it to my wife. She just doesn't understand my humour. :lol:

[Swampfox]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

That is too hilarious! It was especially funny when I read it to my wife. She just doesn't understand my humour. :lol:

That would explain why she was so entranced by that kid Saturday. :lol:

[Swampfox]

Anything good lately?

[blackfoot]

Anything good lately?

How about this?


never-mind. It was just a cold breeze blowing up my SuperKilt.

[Swampfox]

How about this?

:blushing: Well, I wasn't going for my blunders!











Although, now I have reached some sort of level akin to ancient heroes and demigods.

[blackfoot]

:blushing: Well, I wasn't going for my blunders!











Although, now I have reached some sort of level akin to ancient heroes and demigods.

That's right. A custom title and a quote in this thread in one night. That is something few achieve, let alone in the same night. :thumbup:

[soapbox]

That's right. A custom title and a quote in this thread in one night. That is something few achieve, let alone in the same night. :thumbup:

Although whether you should be proud of it...er, well, anyway.

[blackfoot]

Although whether you should be proud of it...er, well, anyway.

Well, I didn't say anything about that. :lol:

[Swampfox]

Although whether you should be proud of it...er, well, anyway.

Yeah, I know.....


Well, I didn't say anything about that. :lol:

It was more like, "Sucker!!!!!!"

[blackfoot]

Yeah, I know.....



It was more like, "Sucker!!!!!!"

:whistling:

[SRock]

Quotes, I've seen some gems lately. Let me search.

[blackfoot]

Quotes, I've seen some gems lately. Let me search.

Me too, but I kind of forgot about this thread.

[Swampfox]

I'm searching and waiting....I'll go look up TopGumby's posts. :lol:

[blackfoot]

I'm searching and waiting....I'll go look up TopGumby's posts. :lol:

He is always good for a few. :thumbup:

[Swampfox]

From the great TG-

I'm trying to wrap my mind around the Dora the Explorer blade bank...

Does it have razor blades that go with it? With a printed warning on the label -"Hey, Wiper, no Wiping!"???

[SRock]

Me too, but I kind of forgot about this thread.

Me too. :blushing:

[Ru4scuba?]

..... the Clubman smells like an old man at church with hair growing out of his ears. I told her that's the look I'm going for.


Still my favorite! :thumbup1:

[Swampfox]

On one of the Injector/SE threads -

HoosierTrooper
There's just something cool about sticking that big old ornery looking single edge blade in a 50-100 year old razor and dragging it around your face and neck.

[Swampfox]

I know it's large, but I just couldn't break apart this post by TopGumby in the Another Lilac Vegetal Thread -


The back and forth over The Venerable Vegetal isn't ever going to be won by either side, nor should it be.

We were made to struggle, to have differences, to swim in the glorious sea of YMMV. What makes it glorious isn't that variety is the spice of life. It's that we can advocate, provocate and engage in this endless debate and still come out smiling.

Perhaps the art of airing differences over trivial things is the building block that makes tolerance of big differences possible. If a man can splash on a product that another then refers to as kitty pee, and the swords stay in the scabbard, isn't the world a better place for it?

Is not the divisive nature of the Veg the essence of what Lilac Vegatism is all about? Can I, having been embraced by the green glow of that nasty first whiff that cast me against a rock of revulsion, only to be cushioned by the tolerably nice dry down, not rise to the defense of the drugstore aftershave that chose me?

What sort of man would refuse to take up the banner of those Hussars that doused themselves in the Veg rather than smell like sweaty horse rumps? What poltroon would refuse to take up the gauntlet of the earnest foe with more olfactory sense than I who insists it smells like the trousers of an incontinent wino who has worked off a bender by doing an all day jitterbug marathon at the Old Folk's Home, and gotten a little familiar with some of the fairer senior citizens, if you know what I mean?

And, having taken that gauntlet and smartly slapped it across the face of the poor, sensible infidel who knows not the pride of conquering the Green Demon, can I not then shake his hand, knowing that beyond a strong contrasting opinion over what smells like sewage and what smells like sweet history, we are wetshaving brothers deep down inside?

I'd like to build the world a den
and furnish it with Veg
Ignore "It smells like Kitty Pee"
And other things alleged

I'd like to teach the world to splash
That nasty green stuff on
I'll put it on after my shave
And rip off hippy songs

It's the real thing...

Can't we all just Veg along?

[blackfoot]

He did it again!


Congrats! Excellent choice!

Say, could you capture the very essence of the scent of some vintage Avon after shave by juxtaposing the overall impact of the presentation of the decanter, the scent itself and the spiritual journey of obtaining it with some prose that describes the life of a one-armed cooper under the reign of Czar Alexander II and his desire to hang on to the past while he struggles with day to day survival?

That's something I'd ask The Nid Hog to do...

[Swampfox]

He did it again!

Maybe the name of this thread should be change to: "What will TopGumby post Next?"!

[brianw]

I think very little could beat your custom title

[Swampfox]

I think very little could beat your custom title

The posts I made that got it. :lol::lol::lol:

[Ru4scuba?]

...I used to shave while half awake in the morning or running out the door. If I do that now I look like an extra from Silence of the Lambs.

From the General Shave Forum today...

[RichGem]

TopGumby strikes again:



"It's about time you found me someplace to sit, you worthless jackwagon! Now, get that flattop right, and a double dose of that Lilac Foofoo water afterwards...Barbie just loves that stinky stuff!"


From here (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showpost.php?p=2237935&postcount=5).

[Swampfox]

TopGumby strikes again:



From here (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showpost.php?p=2237935&postcount=5).

That is hilarious on its on, but ad that pic to it.....rotflmao!!!!!!

[SRock]

I think very little could beat your custom title

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[RichGem]

From a n00b, no less:




It was the strangest thing... a massive herd of badgers stormed in and ravaged my shop!!! But I will have more shaving soap ready to ship in a few weeks. :)

...

i was nearly trampled!

[Ru4scuba?]

tabac smells like a funeral home


A funeral home for wiskers.

Nice couple of quotes together!

[blackfoot]

From a n00b, no less:

:lol: :thumbup:


Nice couple of quotes together!

Very good. :thumbup1:

[SRock]

From the "revisiting a puck of Tabac thread"


tabac smells like a funeral home


A funeral home for wiskers.

[Ru4scuba?]

From the "revisiting a puck of Tabac thread"

Great minds Rob....great minds....look two posts up from yours :thumbup1:

[SRock]

Great minds Rob....great minds....look two posts up from yours :thumbup1:

Too funny! I posted this in the Favorite Quotes or One Liners thread yesterday as well. :lol::lol:

[DFrancis]

Not a quote but a screenshot from general shaving.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4114/4807656534_c1b80c7576.jpg

not a bad way to go if you ask me.

[blackfoot]

Not a quote but a screenshot from general shaving.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4114/4807656534_c1b80c7576.jpg

not a bad way to go if you ask me.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[SRock]

Not a quote but a screenshot from general shaving.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4114/4807656534_c1b80c7576.jpg

not a bad way to go if you ask me.

Great catch!

[Swampfox]

Alright I have a couple to add.

This is from the "My first date with a girl...."thread with my response and his. :blink:


Originally Posted by C Reed
Seriously I want to be famous and dead by the time I'm 30.
John Wilkes Booth...is that you?
C Reed
I'll settle for infamy... check the news in like 6 years and 3 months.

And this one:


Originally Posted by DFrancis
Logic and truth have no place in the clown house

[Ru4scuba?]

About Osage rub in the AS Forum....


..... My only surprise when using it is that my streaming tears don't actually freeze on contact then shatter upon hitting the floor.


Just don't splash it on your face then reach down to scratch yourself. Your manhood will tingle for quite a while. :blushing:

I uh...was told this by a friend. :lol:

[Swampfox]

Another one from the "My first date...."thread


A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

[Ru4scuba?]

Another one from the "My first date...."thread

.....My wife isn't laughing....

[blackfoot]

Another one from the "My first date...."thread

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

That is hilarious!


.....My wife isn't laughing....

Then she must be....oh, never mind.

Mine is laughing. :thumbup:

[Swampfox]

And another...from the same thread.....


Don't complain: my wife won't even let me date anymore.

[Swampfox]

Then she must be....oh, never mind.

Mine is laughing. :thumbup:

My wife says it is accurate...:lol:

[Ru4scuba?]

Then she must be....oh, never mind.


She said you'd say that :lol:

[blackfoot]

She said you'd say that :lol:

:lol::lol::lol:

[gollum83]

She said you'd say that :lol:

No, no, no. You're supposed to say "That's what she said". :001_rolle

[blackfoot]

Froma thread discussing what was used before shave soap:


Yes the first shaving cream was bacon fat and it was first used in the South Pacific. Many archaeologists believe this was the major factor leading to cannibalism in that area.

[Swampfox]

From the inimitable TopGumby in the "my first date....."thread -


I recall asking my father about what to look for in a girl to marry, after I'd come to the unconscious conclusion that most of the sporter models I'd been chasing after weren't suitable mates for life.

He told me to imagine being stranded in the desert or backwoods in a broken down vehicle with a busted leg. If the female in question was going to be more of a hindrance than a help, keep looking. He also said that since marriage was basically trading sex for stability, find a fair trader.

How the man who was such an idiot when I was a teenager got to be so wise when I got older, I dunno.

[Ru4scuba?]

From the inimitable TopGumby in the "my first date....."thread -

That....is frigging amazing!!! :lol::lol::lol:

[Telecaster52]

Try licking it.

Boar will taste kind of sweet. Horse has a rather gritty feel on the tongue due to the strength of the hair, but tastes almost like ibuprofen. Badger is oddly alkaline, like licking a 9 volt battery when you were a kid.











Just kidding. :lol::lol::lol:

[Intrigued]

This from "I'm in the hall of fame!" thread. :w00t:



....I pondered and discussed the thought of making Scottish Spring, I mean they have an Irish Spring so why not. Then I thought about it...the bottle would be plaid and the soap would smell like beer, smoke, sweat, and fried foods AND it would be endorsed by Sean Connery...
I wish I knew how to make it happen cause that stuff would fly off the shelves!

[Swampfox]

From the Funny looks thread...


Hmmm. I hadn't considered a drug connection that might exist in some minds.

Perhaps if I'd snapped, "None of your business! Now, Mr. Nosey, can you tell me where the nearest pet store is? Oh, and a hardware store that sells bulk duct tape" they'd still be scanning the news... :lol:

[blackfoot]

From the Funny looks thread...

:lol::lol::lol:

[Swampfox]

Here are two excerpts from this post by Topgumby (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showpost.php?p=2269867&postcount=78) (maybe this thread should be renamed, Deep Thoughts from Topgumby (and other B&B curiosities) -


I had a guy at an antique shop sell me a Krona. He asked if I was redecorating a bathroom. When I told him I was buying it to shave with, you'd have thought I had slipped and said "I'm buying it to to hammer into my skull, and I'll hold you liable and my brother is a top flight attorney" or somesuch.



I took the little paper bag he'd put it in, and caught the two ladies sort of gawking...so I tipped my hat, winked and made a slashing motion with my finger across my throat. They both smiled but looked very confused.

[blackfoot]

Here are two excerpts from this post by Topgumby (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showpost.php?p=2269867&postcount=78) (maybe this thread should be renamed, Deep Thoughts from Topgumby (and other B&B curiosities) -

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[kg4ghn]

Here are two excerpts from this post by Topgumby (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showpost.php?p=2269867&postcount=78) (maybe this thread should be renamed, Deep Thoughts from Topgumby (and other B&B curiosities) -


We should add a button at the top of the page maybe between wiki and chat that links straight to Topgumby's post list.

:lol:

[Swampfox]

We should add a button at the top of the page maybe between wiki and chat that links straight to Topgumby's post list.

:lol:

Now that's a good idea!:thumbup1:

[RichGem]

From Spivey in the "US Coin comeback?" thread....



I wonder how many strip-club-make-it-rain-related deaths would be contributed to a $1 coin....

[Swampfox]

From Spivey in the "US Coin comeback?" thread....

:lol::lol::lol:

[DFrancis]

From Spivey in the "US Coin comeback?" thread....

:lol::lol::lol: you do actually toss coins, I won't say were because this is a gentlemanly place.

[blackfoot]

:lol::lol::lol:

[Swampfox]

I am submitting my wife's statement that I posted on the AV thread -


My wife says that AV is old man child molester smell riding down the road in a panel van...

[blackfoot]

I am submitting my wife's statement that I posted on the AV thread -

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Swampfox]

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Needless to say, the Aqua Velva is under the sink and will be PIFd in the future.

[blackfoot]

Needless to say, the Aqua Velva is under the sink and will be PIFd in the future.

Well, there is a box heading your way. :001_rolle

[Swampfox]

Well, there is a box heading your way. :001_rolle

And I will be sending it across the Pond, so maybe someone over there wants US AV. :lol:

[RichGem]

And I will be sending it across the Pond, so maybe someone over there wants US AV. :lol:

Surely, it doesn't smell *that* bad? I mean, if it were "the Veg" and all....

[Swampfox]

[quote=Swampfox;2294482]And I will be sending it across the Pond, so maybe someone over there wants US AV. :lol:[/quote

Surely, it doesn't smell *that* bad? I mean, if it were "the Veg" and all....

I need to calm down, or I will shortly ran #2 on this thread, just behind Ole Top. :blink:

[blackfoot]

[QUOTE=RichGem;2294609]

I need to calm down, or I will shortly ran #2 on this thread, just behind Ole Top. :blink:

Ole Top?

[RichGem]

[quote=Swampfox;2294648]

Ole Top?


execpt, um I never said that. :confused:

[Swampfox]

Ole Top?

TG


execpt, um I never said that. :confused:

:lol::lol::lol:

[Ru4scuba?]

Good job here. You're seeing the bigger picture and calling out the brainwashing on display which is being handed out straight from Washington and the media with rhetoric directed at many of the mindless lemmings we call "fellow citizens." Success is made synonymous with evil and the average man is further stripped from his motivation and pride. I agree, this attitude seems to be becoming more and more pervasive these days.

There are two groups of people in this world, servants and masters. It's gonna be funny the day that the population is finally seduced into slavery by the republic. This process has already started and it's only a matter of time at this point. We only have ourselves to blame.

From the SOAP FORUM...thats right...soap forum. Its clearly an answer to the OPs question about Tallow based soaps :lol:

[Spivey]

From the SOAP FORUM...thats right...soap forum. Its clearly an answer to the OPs question about Tallow based soaps :lol:

The hopes of the base man have lain fallow.

[Swampfox]

From the Moonshine thread -


So far, my eyesight is fine. But my palms are a lot smoother since I switched to DE.

[Obsessed]

From the SOAP FORUM...thats right...soap forum. Its clearly an answer to the OPs question about Tallow based soaps :lol:

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Swampfox]

From yet another OS thread.



Shulton vs. P&G has officially(*) entered the realm of 9/11 and assassination conspiracy theories. No matter what evidence, or lack of evidence, is ever presented, there are minds out there that can't be changed.

Just use and enjoy the fine scents while relaxing on the grassy knoll.

(*) The Official TG rules to live by, chapter 9, paragraph 11.

[Swampfox]

In reference to the "I'm gonna tell you something tomorrow or how to selfishly jerk around a shaving forum" thread. (I wonder what he would think of TAT....)


This is the most stupid thread that I have ever seen on any forum that I have frequented.
The fact that it is allowed to continue only serves to denigrate the integrity of this establishment.

My 2 pesos.

[Intrigued]

In reference to the "I'm gonna tell you something tomorrow or how to selfishly jerk around a shaving forum" thread. (I wonder what he would think of TAT....)

He may be the related to Srings1 or Stan The Man. :blink:

[Swampfox]

He may be the related to Srings1 or Stan The Man. :blink:

LOL, they are really giving him a hard time on that thread over it. It has turned into his thread lately. :lol:

[blackfoot]

From TAT!


This is a post.

:lol:

[SRock]

He may be the related to Srings1 or Stan The Man. :blink:

Maybe he's Springs the Man?

Blackfoot from the Member's Classic Quotes Thread:


:lol:

[blackfoot]

Blackfoot from the Member's Classic Quotes Thread:

:lol::lol::lol:

Well, at least I finally got quoted in here. :001_rolle

[Swampfox]

:lol::lol::lol:

Well, at least I finally got quoted in here. :001_rolle

We would quote you more often, but your stuff takes entire pages! :lol::lol::lol:

[blackfoot]

We would quote you more often, but your stuff takes entire pages! :lol::lol::lol:

That reminds of of the time........

[Swampfox]

That reminds of of the time........

:blink::huh:

[RichGem]

That reminds of of the time........

... you went to Shelbyville with an onion on your belt?

[blackfoot]

... you went to Shelbyville with an onion on your belt?

Because that was the style at the time.

[Spivey]

Because that was the style at the time.

...and then Ethel caught pneumonia and traded it for a '32 Buick. But you don't remember '32...."

[blackfoot]

This just makes me cry! :lol::lol::lol:


*holds hands over ears and talks to self* "Don't listen to him! Cracked universe...? I still believe! We WILL hear the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT tomorrow! and Santa is real....! and the Easter Bunny...! and mom and dad really were just wrestling...! Tomorrow...! I still believe......."

[jakespoppy]

This just makes me cry! :lol::lol::lol:

Hey! Holy cow! I made it! I can't believe it! I finally got "posted" here! How totally humbling, to walk among the legends like this....

What? You just brought me in here to freshen up the drinks? Of course, I understand. Let's see (I'm really very good at this!):

Blake - Martini
Brian - Dr Pepper (we'll hold off on the Flaming Mexican Flag until after :wink:)
Chris - Talisker, 12 Yr
uh, Rich and Swampy, I don't believe you've ordered yet, gentlemen?

(and Mom and Dad, I was just kidding about that "wrestling" thing...)

[RichGem]

Hey! Holy cow! I made it! I can't believe it! I finally got "posted" here! How totally humbling, to walk among the legends like this....

What? You just brought me in here to freshen up the drinks? Of course, I understand. Let's see (I'm really very good at this!):

Blake - Martini
Brian - Dr Pepper (we'll hold off on the Flaming Mexican Flag until after :wink:)
Chris - Talisker, 12 Yr
uh, Rich and Swampy, I don't believe you've ordered yet, gentlemen?

(and Mom and Dad, I was just kidding about that "wrestling" thing...)

Oh thanks..... a nice *traditional* margarita would do me nicely. Extra lime. No pre-mixed crap. Rocks, no salt. Thanks.

[jakespoppy]

Oh thanks..... a nice *traditional* margarita would do me nicely. Extra lime. No pre-mixed crap. Rocks, no salt. Thanks.

One "No Mixed Crap Margarita" it is! That's an excellent choice! Would you like the Gold Label Tequila, or just the house standard? And don't worry, I won't have to ask again. (I'm really very good at this) :thumbup1:

[Swampfox]

Hey! Holy cow! I made it! I can't believe it! I finally got "posted" here! How totally humbling, to walk among the legends like this....

What? You just brought me in here to freshen up the drinks? Of course, I understand. Let's see (I'm really very good at this!):

Blake - Martini
Brian - Dr Pepper (we'll hold off on the Flaming Mexican Flag until after :wink:)
Chris - Talisker, 12 Yr
uh, Rich and Swampy, I don't believe you've ordered yet, gentlemen?

(and Mom and Dad, I was just kidding about that "wrestling" thing...)

The strongest Barleywine you have.

[RichGem]

One "No Mixed Crap Margarita" it is! That's an excellent choice! Would you like the Gold Label Tequila, or just the house standard? And don't worry, I won't have to ask again. (I'm really very good at this) :thumbup1:

IIRC, the "well" stuff is pretty good around here, so that'll do just fine.

[jakespoppy]

The strongest Barleywine you have.

Um, Sir, we're out of Barleywine, but we have a nice Merlot that I think you might find particularly interesting. I think the winery in Australia had you in mind when they made this one...

http://i1010.photobucket.com/albums/af227/jakespoppy/Pics%20for%20websites%20-%20general/LittlePenguin-Merlot.jpg

[RichGem]

Um, Sir, we're out of Barleywine, but we have a nice Merlot that I think you might find particularly interesting. I think the winery in Australia had you in mind when they made this one...

http://i1010.photobucket.com/albums/af227/jakespoppy/Pics%20for%20websites%20-%20general/LittlePenguin-Merlot.jpg

I tried the LP shiraz and the cab when they first became available around here several years ago. Sad truth be told, they were very lacklustre and bland.

[brianw]

You really should not run yourself down like this....

[jakespoppy]

I tried the LP shiraz and the cab when they first became available around here several years ago. Sad truth be told, they were very lacklustre and bland.

Yes, you're quite right, Sir! I'll check the wine cellar again.

*he say's to himself "a discriminating crowd. I'm going to have to step up my game with these guys"*

[Swampfox]

Um, Sir, we're out of Barleywine, but we have a nice Merlot that I think you might find particularly interesting. I think the winery in Australia had you in mind when they made this one...

http://i1010.photobucket.com/albums/af227/jakespoppy/Pics%20for%20websites%20-%20general/LittlePenguin-Merlot.jpg

I'll pass on the wine. Give me a Fat Tire.

[jakespoppy]

I'll pass on the wine. Give me a Fat Tire.

*Dang. Fat Tire? Wonder what the heck that is?*

Of course, Sir. I'll get right on that. :thumbup1:

[RichGem]

I'll pass on the wine. Give me a Fat Tire.


*Dang. Fat Tire? Wonder what the heck that is?*

Of course, Sir. I'll get right on that. :thumbup1:

Fat Tire Ale? I can see the marketing now: A Fat Tire for your "spare tire." Buy some today!

:lol:

[jakespoppy]

Fat Tire Ale? I can see the marketing now: A Fat Tire for your "spare tire." Buy some today!

:lol:

:lol::lol:

You should be in Advertising! I'm thirsty now!

[Swampfox]

:001_rolle

[Swampfox]

From one of the Arko threads......


Not at all.

Plus, now I can proudly say when asked what I'm doing, "I'm airing my ARKO out."

That's worth something right there!

[kg4ghn]

Man up hippy and wash your a$$.

Dont feed the trolls. kthnx.

Your body sweats naturally which attracts bacteria. You have to smell like a foot.


:lol::lol:

[Swampfox]

All from the "Perhaps A Bit Too Nostalgic" thread...


Well, just for the sake of nostalgia today I splashed on some Avon Leather aftershave Circa 1970 (which happens to be 9 years older than myself).....probably not my finest decision....Strong, Strong, Strong , I could see SWMBO drafting divorce papers in her eyes...my four year old nearly fainted....the 3 month old has not stopped crying.:blush:


"Four Score and seven years ago, whoa what is that smell, has Grant got his boots off again?!":laugh:


If Lincoln left you stinking,
And the leather was too strong
If you scared the wife and kiddies
And you think you've chosen wrong

Then never fear, your choice is clear
To put right this domestic squall
A house divided will be reunited
If you splash on Lilac Vegetal

[blackfoot]

From the Ronahn is now Ronan the BARBERian (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?p=2461881#post2461881)


Wisen Old Shavemaster: Ronan! What is best in life?

Ronan: To brush on your lather, see your beard shaven before you, and to hear the lamentation of cartridges users.

[SRock]

From the Ronahn is now Ronan the BARBERian (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?p=2461881#post2461881)

Excellent choice for this thread!

[blackfoot]

From the most recent Lilac Vegetal thread.


"Legends say the Veg will magnify your true essence...on some, it smells like cannon smoke and raw courage, on others, like an involuntary bodily reaction caused by the sudden unexpected appearance of cannon smoke and raw courage."

I said that once, and I still believe it. Not every man can pull this one off, and I'm not suggesting that those who can are somehow superior to those who can't.

I will admit that I have a love/hate relationship with Lilac Vegetal. I'm enough of a joker to enjoy the repulsive initial notes, but I'm also intimidated by it. I know that it's something that requires confidence, and just between you, me and everyone who can get on the internet, I'm not at the top of my game every darn day.

The fact that I have to take a deep breath and mentally take stock of my spirit before I commit to a Lilac Vegetal morning makes this a special product.

Nietzsche would love this stuff. In a small way, it is a picture of life...doubt, struggle, glorious victory or ignoble defeat.

Many products soothe, scent and moisturize, but how many provide a window to the eternal struggle that debases and ennobles us?

[SRock]

From a Tabac PIF thread:


I love Tabac more than I love licking ash trays! However, both smell the same.

:lol::lol::lol:

[kg4ghn]

From the most recent Lilac Vegetal thread.

Top does it again!


Excellent choice for this thread!

+1


From a Tabac PIF thread:



:lol::lol::lol:

:lol::lol:

[blackfoot]

From Please disregard Tipping the Moderator Missle in California


It's like a traffic accident where people keep stopping by to throw extra bodies in.

-jim

[Intrigued]

From the "Who is Stan the Man?" thread.



Aye, lad, that's the question, and a fair one it is, too.

There's some as say that Stan the Man is only a legend, a fisherman's tale that has grown in the retelling.

There's some that says that Stan the Man was a real person, same as you and me, but the green monster of envy stole his soul when another Stan the Man tried to share the big brotherly shave den that is the Badger and Blade, and now he's doomed to haunt the Clown House forever more, keening for a unique username that will elude him through eternity.

There's others that will hint that Stan hasn't really left us, but lurks here under another user name, biding his time, perhaps even becoming a moderator named Phil, just waiting for the opportunity to wreak a terrible lilac scented vengeance on those what like to mock things that mere mortal shavers were never meant to understand.

But if you ask me, lad, Stan the Man is neither man nor beast, not fish or fowl or good red earth, but a warning sent from the shave gods themselves, to let us know that even if a shaver finds the perfect combination of lather, brush and blade that renders his visage so smooth that water beads up and rolls off, that if he becomes so steeped in shaving lore that he can spot a single ring from across a crowded antique shop, and if he plumbs the inner secrets of scents 'til he can splash on a gallon of Brut and through sheer force of will make it smell like Green Irish Tweed after the dry down, if he can't laugh at himself when he looks in that shaving mirror, why then he's less than the merest noob who doesn't know the secret code behind the numbers on the blades.

That's what I think, but YMMV.

BTW what is the "secret code" behind the numbers on the blades? :blink:

[Swampfox]

From the BB3 thread.....


Hear, hear! I believe that we should convene a Swamp Party meeting in order to determine whether Mr. S. Fox should be allowed to continue with BB3. It appears the box is afraid of or is taunting him and is causing undue anguish to Swampfox. We, those involved in the ground swell Swamp Party movement, just have his best interests at heart. :lol::lol:

[blackfoot]

From the "Who is Stan the Man?" thread.




BTW what is the "secret code" behind the numbers on the blades? :blink:

:lol::lol::lol:

[csmorris]

...
I just had a little boy, my first kid, so economy is vital - none of these scented unguents oozed into ruby encrusted gold bowls warmed by the lit farts of circassian dancing girls and reverently daubed with baby unicorn tails that youse shower here at B&B go in for :wink2:.
...


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Love it!

[_JP_]

BTW what is the "secret code" behind the numbers on the blades? :blink:

It is in Modulo 4 with answer being in binary, which is 10.

Once you figure out the answer you'll realize that it is very fitting for a double sided blade.

[GDCarrington]

...baby unicorn tails

http://www.freewebs.com/eferia/NewTAFBabyStepByStep2.JPG

[DFrancis]

Soap Forum, discussion on shave sticks, no introduction needed for the poster.


Rubbing a big hunk of soap derived from deceased critters and various chemical processes all over my face...what's not to love?

[dpm802]

From the thread "Brush Rotation Frequency" (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?p=2609687#post2609687)



Originally Posted by neilt

I treat my brushes like my women...use em and put em up wet.

[dpm802]

From the thread Carzor - Discuss (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?p=2687284&posted=1#post2687284)


Is that a fatboy in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?`

[danparker77]

I wonder how many times Top is quoted in here?


Tabac EDC and Aqua Velva AS. It's what I grab when I'm looking for that Ron Jeremy in a rented Camaro vibe. :thumbup1:


Is that the 1980 Ron Jeremy or the 2010 version?


2010 Ron Jeremy in a 1980 Camaro.

Seriously, I often do the Tabac cologne after an AV splash, but I usually go conservative on the AV.

Unless I'm really kickin' it, then I load up on the AV, go for four big shots of Tabac and get really generous with the Vitalis. I call that the Full Frontal Hedgehog.

[blackfoot]

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[blackfoot]

Don't know why, but this amused the crap out of me and wasn't from TG! :lol:


You keep checking the post and seeing that huge 0 under "Reply" and about 34 under "Views". That stuff stays with you for life man......for life!!

[GDCarrington]

You say you want a...


Join the people's wet shaving revolution!

[kg4ghn]

Another one from Top in the Arko is underappreciated thread:


Arko, the value priced soap that performs like a champ and smells like the corpse of an old cleaning lady who was beaten to death with a big can of Lemon Pledge.

[Intrigued]

From the "Chubby 3" thread in the bush forum:

Plleeeeeaaasseee don't hang them in a stand - its really not needed. If it had been necessary Great Uncle Alex would have designed the brush with a brass ring on it's base to hang it off a sky hook!!

The brush was made to look stunning standing upright - upside down all the blood rushes to its head from its strong manly beating heart!

Gary

[GDCarrington]

From the Who is Stan and ..... thread


In a way, we are all Stan.

Struggling in the great forum of life, using our brief turn on this mortal stage to try and carve out an identity of our own, desperately seeking to make the endless jumble that is our inner hopes and fears coherent to our fellow sufferers.

Wouldn't it be a better place if we could all be a wingman for each other? We laugh at the absurd image of Stan's struggle for self-identity, but if we are honest we see ourselves, reflected in the twisted fun-house mirror of that classic thread, but reflected nonetheless.

Will the the Great Moderator, who oversees all we do, do something about this?

Please PM me indeed.

[blackfoot]

From the Who is Stan and ..... thread

:lol::lol::lol:

[kg4ghn]

I still think Top should have all of his posts published into a book. I'd buy one! :lol:

[westin]

This made me lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by mretzloff View Post
Jack-in-the-Green, aren't you afraid that your brush might take a plunge into the toilet one day? Be careful.

Reply from Jack in the Green:

Well, I usually don't flail that much when I go. But now I'm starting to feel a little paranoid. :blink: I think maybe I'll go re-arrange the den ...

[Ru4scuba?]

Man I miss this thread...the Clubman-ears-church quote will stick with me for a long time!

[Topgumby]

This is pure gold from The Nid Hog...


Wearing the Veg is like going on a Vision Quest. It will reach deep down inside you and reveal you for who you truly are. Your fears, your hopes, your dreams--all will be magnified. Your darkest secrets will be exposed. Some men are broken by the Veg, left with nothing but the terrible realization of the insignificance of a single human life against the vastness of the universe. Others are transformed. It has been said that Ed Pinaud's creation of the Veg is, in the history of mankind, second only to the discovery of the concept of zero. A fair evaluation? Perhaps. As far as I'm concerned, mankind did just fine without the zero--Hanging Gardens of Babylon anyone? But life without the Veg? Hardly a life at all.

[dpm802]

197056

Posted by luvmysuper in "The OCCUPY Movement" thread.

[dpm802]

Yet another masterpiece by Topgumby, in the thread

Williams Mug Soap. Tell me something good!



http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e204/Lauderdale954/r_lee_ermey.jpg

I'll tell you something good about Williams, you miserable creamworm! That Williams lather isn't handed to you just because you're wasting oxygen! You have to earn that lather!

You! You want to be a wetshaver? You think you can just buy the title of wetshaver? You want it delivered to you in a fancy box, and to have everything lather up oh so easy?

You will never learn, will you, numbbrush? You have to lather my beloved Williams like you got a pair! You have to earn that lather!!

Now, let's review your general shaving orders!


To take charge of this Williams puck and all shaving equipment in view.
To lather my puck in a military manner, keeping always on the alert and removing all stubble that takes place within sight or hearing.
To report all shaving events to the bulletin board at B&B.
To obtain all razors from points more distant from the shaveden that's my own.
To quit my den only when properly BBS.
To receive, obey, and PIF to the shaver who relieves me, all shavegear from the Moderators, Stewards.....


Are you nodding off? Do my beloved general shaving orders bore you? Then grab your issue VDH boar brush at high port, and fall out for some PT!!

"Ain't no use in goin' home
Jody's got your can of foam
Ain't no use in feelin' blue
Jody's got your Fusion too!

I don't need no corporate gear
To be smooth from ear to ear
I'm going take this Williams soap
And leave McShaves to that Jody dope!

XTG! ATG!
Good for you! Good for me!"

Halt, and fallout for a Willams shave, you disgusting creambodies! You'll learn the goodness in that humble puck, or you'll die trying...and I don't care which....

[whiteweed]

I haven't have time to read all of the thread, but my favorite is the quote that made Art King. I have not been as good at searching these things out with the new forum. If someone could post it that would be cool. If it has been posted I will have tho finish the thread later.

cheers ron

[dpm802]

Topgumby does it again ... in the thread De revival - how can we help? (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php/257959-De-revival-how-can-we-help)
http://badgerandblade.com/vb/images/icons/icon1.png
I don't think it's fair that one percent of the shavers (us) are getting 99% of the great shaves.

I say it's time to Occupy Old Bond Street. :a49:

[dpm802]

I haven't have time to read all of the thread, but my favorite is the quote that made Art King. I have not been as good at searching these things out with the new forum. If someone could post it that would be cool. If it has been posted I will have tho finish the thread later.

cheers ronI've been wondering about that myself ... Art was already King by the time I joined B&B, and I never understood the history behind it.

I've just come to accept it as as Article of Faith ... we just have to accept it even if we don't know why.