three word story

[Miles]

vintage carnauba wax

[Greyfox]

and a tub

[winkydink]

of Preparation H.

[mikey]

No shave gear

[pal]

could be found

[GFlanagan3]

except one shiny

[Miles]

tin knock off

[pal]

of a vintage

[GFlanagan3]

weishi which made

[djboring]

for great justice.

[MrLastway]

Another green suitably

[Greyfox]

attired gentleman from

[Miles]

the front office

[BrianL]

ate sweet potatoes

[GFlanagan3]

and threw handfuls

[winkydink]

of leprechaun dust

[GFlanagan3]

and lucky charms

[mikey]

in the direction

[Miles]

of the nearest

[mikey]

yet farthest away

[djboring]

Bob's Big Boy

[winkydink]

(a distant relative)

[GFlanagan3]

of the Great

[mikey]

Carnac the Magnificent

[kwk285]

who said that

[GFlanagan3]

"A blade is

[Miles]

pointy at one

[Mr. Scruffy]

time or another

[Greyfox]

but always remember

[BrianL]

The Alamo and

[Greyfox]

1960 World Series

[GFlanagan3]

-Pittsburgh Pirates WIN!!!"

[BrianL]

Who invited the

[Greyfox]

second baseman to

[GFlanagan3]

third base and

[Greyfox]

to home plate!

[Mr. Scruffy]

Her tax lawyer

[djboring]

failed the BAR

[BrianL]

only fourteen times

[Greyfox]

before he passed.

[jakespoppy]

Not bad for

[BrianL]

retired quantum physicist

[Greyfox]

from Florida State

[GFlanagan3]

Federal Penitentiary. He

[Greyfox]

served time for

[mikey]

tax evasion and

[GFlanagan3]

bad shaving habits

[Greyfox]

. His one redeeming

[Miles]

coupon good for

[kwk285]

one free tasty

[GFlanagan3]

dollop of MWF

[winkydink]

with chocolate sprinkles

[mikey]

, cherry on top,

[Greyfox]

all served cold.

[BrianL]

The punishment for

[Greyfox]

being a glutton

[mikey]

is only a

[GFlanagan3]

a nasty stomach

[Greyfox]

and serious gas.

[Miles]

Oh, and death.

[BrianL]

On that note

[GFlanagan3]

C over E

[winkydink]

but after I

[Greyfox]

get rid of

[jakespoppy]

AO, that's "bye".

[Mr. Scruffy]

Oh my, I

[GFlanagan3]

fly, guy fly

[mikey]

and tie a

[Sir Sartana]

fly to try

[GFlanagan3]

pig in sty

[mikey]

why oh why?

[Sir Sartana]

did it die

[Mr. Scruffy]

not too soon.

[coyotewhisper]

without any fanfare

[GFlanagan3]

before the rice

[BrianL]

,beans and beef,

[Mr. Scruffy]

it died again.

[kwk285]

The Queen Screamed

[Greyfox]

"I want it

[GFlanagan3]

less than I

[mikey]

don't want it

[pal]

but strangely enough

[BrianL]

a tree fell

[kwk285]

smashing Prince Charles

[Mr. Scruffy]

and he died.

[Greyfox]

"Oh man," said

[pal]

the Asplundh man

[Mr. Scruffy]

to Prince Charles

[djboring]

, "long live the

[mikey]

Queen of Scots

[jakespoppy]

Paper Towels, the

[kwk285]

best thing to

[mikey]

remove ink from

[pal]

wine stained toupee's

[mikey]

is simply to

[BaldRick]

dip and stir

[Greyfox]

in some alum

[bullmoose]

burned like hell

[pal]

story at 6:00.

[winkydink]

Meanwhile, our hero

[mikey]

was walking backward

[GFlanagan3]

in a forward

[djboring]

kind of way

[DemonGeminiX]

but slightly sideways

[GFlanagan3]

unless you looked

[mikey]

behind you, then

[Greyfox]

he was actually

[Mr. Scruffy]

a tall blonde

[kwk285]

super model from

[pal]

The Helsinki Modeling

[mackj2]

agency in Finland

[pal]

famous for extremely

[mikey]

low reading comprehension.

[pal]

But when it

[mikey]

is unusually warm

[kwk285]

near Miami Florida

[mikey]

on a cold

[winkydink]

day in Hades

[Mr. Scruffy]

, ostriches can suddenly

[winkydink]

be plucked for

[GFlanagan3]

pennies a pound.

[Greyfox]

Those feathers can

[pal]

be used for

[Mr. Scruffy]

exotic dancing costumes

[GFlanagan3]

if anyone's interested.

[BrianL]

Pick me, pick

[GFlanagan3]

my nose but

[djboring]

don't tell anyone.

[BrianL]

New socks were

[Mr. Scruffy]

unknown to those

[Greyfox]

heathens of fowl

[GFlanagan3]

and forest who

[pal]

plot the demise

[mikey]

of ladybugs everywhere

[pal]

they are exposed

[GFlanagan3]

as red and

[mikey]

white and blue

[winkydink]

toe fungus begins

[Sir Sartana]

inside wet boots

[Miles]

and musty britches

[mikey]

with wide open

[Mr. Scruffy]

nostrils. Silk teddies

[BrianL]

was Rock Music's

[mikey]

favorite way of

[Greyfox]

exposing new talent.

[winkydink]

Wardrobe accidents are

[Greyfox]

bound to happen

[GFlanagan3]

when dull blades

[Greyfox]

cut through flimsy

[pal]

warn out camisoles

[GFlanagan3]

that didn't belong

[Sir Sartana]

where they were

[pal]

. At any rate,

[Mr. Scruffy]

the Shaving Commission

[Sir Sartana]

wore Lilac Vegetal

[BrianL]

vials around their

[Mr. Scruffy]

foreheads chanting "ugh!"

[djboring]

Wards off vampires.

[Greyfox]

It drives women

[winkydink]

but putts men

[pal]

. At any rate,

[GDCarrington]

the nominal fee

[GFlanagan3]

was exorbitant to

[Swede6]

poor Richard, who

[GDCarrington]

decided to try

[GFlanagan3]

to become more

[pal]

efficient at milking

[elpheasant]

, but the cow

[Sir Sartana]

was a bull

[pal]

and he ended

[winkydink]

. A happy ending?

[djboring]

Only for bull.

[GFlanagan3]

Red Bull, it

[jakespoppy]

is always better

[mikey]

on the other

[Mr. Scruffy]

bovine diaspora fenceline

[BrianL]

where greener grass

[mikey]

grows browner when

[djboring]

urinated on too

[GFlanagan3]

frequently. But Shaving

[BrianL]

with red bulls

[jakespoppy]

creates more energy

[GFlanagan3]

than is possible

[Greyfox]

with other products

[jakespoppy]

, like Rockstar, Amp,

[pal]

and other energy

[jakespoppy]

service providers. The

[winkydink]

lather tasted quite

[jakespoppy]

delicious with a

[kg4ghn]

side of pork

[jakespoppy]

and beans, and

[winkydink]

he got gassy

[babafats]

, and quickly turned

[GFlanagan3]

into a flaming

[jakespoppy]

Lips fan, and

[GFlanagan3]

played them over

[jakespoppy]

the loud speaker

[djboring]

during the Shave-athon.

[Miles]

Not the Shave-athong

[winkydink]

which was being

[mikey]

conducted clear across

[RCC]

San Francisco bay

[Sir Sartana]

where Raiders play

[jakespoppy]

shaving games for

[Mr. Scruffy]

teenage ballerina fans.

[djboring]

Razors with lazers

[mikey]

lazers with tasers

[winkydink]

hazers and grazers

[BrianL]

, set your fasers

[GFlanagan3]

into heavy grazers

[pal]

and the result

[Sir Sartana]

was very obtuse

[jakespoppy]

except for the

[mikey]

acute isosceles parallelogram

[BrianL]

with racing stripes

[Mr. Scruffy]

and pink bloomers.

[pal]

The great make-up

[b0bp]

was better than

[GFlanagan3]

anyone ever thought

[jakespoppy]

the great make-up

[winkydink]

could be. Itchingly

[jakespoppy]

and stingingly it

[xillion]

crawled up my

[jakespoppy]

water pipe with

[pal]

no trouble at

[jakespoppy]

the time, but

[djboring]

the hookah gave

[Sir Sartana]

in to paranoia

[winkydink]

. Next thing you

[Mr. Scruffy]

know, my winkydink

[pal]

has come unglued

[hypo_style]

and threatens to

[Greyfox]

engorge itself with

[GFlanagan3]

vast quantities of

[jakespoppy]

Elmer's white glue.

[pal]

Elmer's white glue. Nice one jakespoppy!:thumbup1:
If this should

[Sir Sartana]

happen to explode

[jakespoppy]

it will stick

(thanks Rich! :thumbup1:)

[mikey]

to everything in

[GFlanagan3]

a 50 mile


(is "50" a word)?

[xillion]

walk of shame

[jakespoppy]

where those who

[Mr. Scruffy]

whistle past graveyards

[GFlanagan3]

and forget to

[Greyfox]

toss their Fusions

[GFlanagan3]

at unshaved boogeymen.

[pal]

Everyone knows that

[winkydink]

Mr. Scruffy questioningly

[jakespoppy]

prefers to whistle

[djboring]

in the thistle