three word story

[MrLastway]

hydrogen peroxide and

[Miles]

duck butter. This

[pal]

was exacerbated by

[Mr. Scruffy]

the existence of

[pal]

minute amounts of

[DFrancis]

dirt, floating in

[pal]

Florida Water samples

[pauls51]

belonging to Mr

[SRock]

the interrogator received

[beginish]

by carrier pigeon

[SRock]

an important note

[Miles]

written entirely in

[damooshki]

Egyptian sandscript. Fellow

[beginish]

Egyptologists were stunned

[mretzloff]

to find out

[beginish]

that sphinxes are

[mretzloff]

symbols of the

[damooshki]

alien invaders from

[pal]

the distant planet

[SRock]

Uranus. Not your

[blackglass]

heinous mother's leather

[Miles]

shoulder holster, but

[damooshki]

the famous manzeer.

[mretzloff]

Three bricks and

[beginish]

a little spackle

[mretzloff]

were enough to

[rodeo]

keep me wet

[mretzloff]

while the others

[Miles]

became dessicated due

[beginish]

to extreme heat

[damooshki]

in the oven

[mretzloff]

next to the

[beginish]

roast turkey. Rehydration

[Miles]

via immersion in

[beginish]

Welch's grape juice

[pal]

and Ipecac syrup

[SRock]

nearly always leads

[Trey45]

to projectile vomitting

[damooshki]

while fast asleep.

[SRock]

Meanwhile back at

[damooshki]

Neverland Ranch, children

[DFrancis]

were saved from

[SRock]

the clutches of

[beginish]

Captain Hook's henchmen

[SRock]

and that guy

[rodeo]

with shave cream

[SRock]

in his ears.

[mretzloff]

A pink badger

[MrLastway]

then suddenly appeared

[Trey45]

waving a large

[Miles]

sign that said

[mretzloff]

"Stay off lawn!".

[MrLastway]

Whilst the waving

[mretzloff]

of the hands

[grump]

didn't prevent his

[rodeo]

sneezing disorder from

[grump]

stopping his hair

[Miles]

from entangling the

[beginish]

twinkling fairy with

[rodeo]

Sarah Palin's hair

[pauls51]

, he envisaged a

[beginish]

sweaty dock worker

[MrLastway]

pulling out a

[mretzloff]

giant pile of

[kg4ghn]

used DE blades

[DFrancis]

he found in

[IronJohn]

Deaths sweet release.

[mretzloff]

A day later

[SRock]

and a dollar

[rodeo]

in his teeth,

[beginish]

he rappelled down

[SpyvSpy]

But then suddenly

[Trey45]

he was caught!

[mretzloff]

The next day

[damooshki]

KGB officers were

[beginish]

cutting the lines

[mretzloff]

to reach the

[beginish]

tootsie roll center

[mretzloff]

of the city.

[SRock]

"How many licks

[pauls51]

does it take

[SRock]

to get to

[netsurfr]

the other side

[Trey45]

of Megan Fox?

[MrLastway]

" he asked while

[blackglass]

sidestepping the mods:)"

[mretzloff]

only to be

[oscarbowman]

stopped in his

[mretzloff]

tracks by the

[SRock]

fiercest of them

[mretzloff]

only to arrive

[damooshki]

beaten and maimed

[Miles]

in the face

[mretzloff]

at the end

[oscarbowman]

of his nose

[pauls51]

with gillette's finest

[Doric]

brand new razor

[SRock]

the Jock Strap!

[Miles]

Twelve thousand blades

[mretzloff]

and five razors

[MrLastway]

divided into seven

[mretzloff]

equal groups, which

[damooshki]

remove facial tissue

[DFrancis]

and leaves you

[mretzloff]

all raw! Next

[Trey45]

on the list

[mretzloff]

was a trip

[oscarbowman]

down the stairs

[Trey45]

to the dungeon

[pauls51]

where Miranda Kerr

[_MementoMori_]

uses an eggbeater

[MrLastway]

to spice up

[mretzloff]

the dish he

[DFrancis]

then fed to

[mretzloff]

his fog. Five

[DFrancis]

minutes later he

[MrLastway]

picked up a

[mretzloff]

straight razor. The

[SRock]

the fog receded

[mretzloff]

to reveal the

[pal]

Colossus of Rhodes

[mretzloff]

next to the

[blackglass]

Kings of Leon

[pauls51]

who were playing

[MrLastway]

a lullaby for

[mretzloff]

the Duke of

[kwk285]

Earl and his

[mretzloff]

five horses. They

[damooshki]

sauntered merrily about

[mretzloff]

the golden ranch

[tpoof]

looking for love

[mretzloff]

next to the

[pal]

love gettin' place

[SRock]

where the roadies

[mretzloff]

rest and the

[SRock]

band gets busy.

[mretzloff]

The band went

[oscarbowman]

on to play

[mretzloff]

at the café

[oscarbowman]

down the road

[mretzloff]

next to the

[pal]

ice cream shop

[Umbranaut]

Ditties about espresso

[mretzloff]

to be served

[rodeo]

only after midnight

[pauls51]

where they once

[Umbranaut]

played vinyl jazz.

[mretzloff]

That afternoon the

[SRock]

gremlins arose from

[mretzloff]

their houses in

[tblech]

garden gnome garb

[mretzloff]

silently sitting sideways

[Umbranaut]

on benches made

[DE7]

of barbed wire

[mretzloff]

and colored black.

[SRock]

The barbed wire

[mretzloff]

was prickly and

[Mr. Scruffy]

simultaneously velvety, like

[mretzloff]

red velvet cake.

[Umbranaut]

Sweet were their

[mretzloff]

on top of

[pauls51]

that special little

[mretzloff]

shaving cream tub

[Mr. Scruffy]

which was tucked

[mretzloff]

into a corner.

[pal]

The Melungeon reunion

[mretzloff]

took place on

[thunderball]

the edge of

[pal]

the Smokey Mountains

[mretzloff]

, near the blue

[pal]

Ridge Mountain Range

[mretzloff]

towards the south

[pal]

to Mechlenburg County

[DE7]

where Jed Clampett

[mretzloff]

was located. The

[pal]

rest of the

[mretzloff]

army was located

[pal]

at Hooterville station

[mretzloff]

and the cross

[pal]

was crissed by

[mretzloff]

the man from

[pal]

La Mancha who

[DE7]

dreamed impossible dreams

[pal]

and fought off

[MrLastway]

several unarmed children

[mretzloff]

and five ninjas.

[SRock]

There were also

[mretzloff]

hoards of locusts

[pal]

being chased by

[mretzloff]

a group of

[damooshki]

possessed baby boars

[mretzloff]

from the corner

[Mr. Scruffy]

meat market. Orkas

[mretzloff]

were put by

[pal]

killer sharks and

[mretzloff]

sword-wielding pirates

[damooshki]

to confront zealous

[mretzloff]

, zesty zebra zombies

[pal]

dressed as Munchkins

[mretzloff]

, ready to attack.

[SRock]

The munchkin impersonator's

[mretzloff]

chair was moved

[DE7]

to parts unknown

[Mr. Scruffy]

with undue haste

[pal]

and without regard

[mretzloff]

they stepped forward

[pal]

and began their

[amerikajinda]

hastily put-together mission

[mretzloff]

to conquer Russia.

[SRock]

Their counter-intelligence officers

[pal]

lacked proper training

[SRock]

so their data

[pal]

was completely wrong

[SRock]

and the troops

[mretzloff]

were sent to

[Mr. Scruffy]

suburban Detroit. Pianos

[mretzloff]

were purchased for

[Mr. Scruffy]

the unwed mothers

[mretzloff]

as a way

[Mr. Scruffy]

to improve their

[pauls51]

appreciation for finer

[MrLastway]

musical instruments. The

[SRock]

pianos were however

[Mr. Scruffy]

the keyless models

[honed]

the keyless models

made in China

[Mr. Scruffy]

by blind monks

[mretzloff]

with no fingers.

[pal]

Having to rely

[mretzloff]

on their toes

[pal]

to carve intricate

[Mr. Scruffy]

fiddly bits on

[pauls51]

what seemed to

[pal]

be key boards

[Mr. Scruffy]

for the blind.

[honed]

One monk however

[SRock]

knew a secret

[mretzloff]

, which could turn

[Mr. Scruffy]

badgers inside out

[mretzloff]

and boars to

[Mr. Scruffy]

cookies and cream.

[pal]

The secret was

[pauls51]

to carefully chew

[pal]

as gingerly as

[mretzloff]

possible, while listening

[thirdeye]

to the snap

[SRock]

possible. Each bite

[thirdeye]

needs to be

[mretzloff]

chewed for twenty

[thirdeye]

seconds before it

[mretzloff]

can be swallowed.