three word story

[tpoof]

dreaming of dreams

[mretzloff]

and days gone

[Biffo]

by in diapers

[tpoof]

as young children

[mretzloff]

on a porch.

[tpoof]

Strange but true

[professorchaos]

is a tale

[tpoof]

not too tall

[professorchaos]

nor too short

[mretzloff]

but very fast

[professorchaos]

: I came, I

[mretzloff]

saw, I shaved!

[Mr. Scruffy]

Hairless mammals agree,

[skklog]

it tastes the

[Subcutaneous]

skin, or else

[skklog]

the big dog

[Nick D.E.vious]

will get angry.

[Jim]

Back at camp,

[DSB]

the platypus swam

[pal]

was gathering strength

[DSB]

for the competition

[SRock]

at the annual

[Biffo]

doodle bug ball

[mdunn]

and he had

[DE7]

misplaced his fins

[Mr. Scruffy]

, goggles and floaties

[mdunn]

and had to

[profsaffel]

wade like a

[Mr. Scruffy]

slightly drunken stork

[mdunn]

on a bender

[professorchaos]

of epic proportions

[Jim]

His past was,

[Biffo]

behind him, now

[cwboomer]

so he vomited

[tpoof]

out old ways

[Biffo]

last nights kebab

[Greyfox]

and the remainder

[tpoof]

filled his pants.

[Biffo]

meanwhile back at

[Mr. Scruffy]

the ostrich roundup

[professorchaos]

the molemen attack

[Mr. Scruffy]

on pygmy ponies

[Biffo]

charged the alligators

[professorchaos]

with surely dwarves

[Mr. Scruffy]

drinking Pink Ladies

[Biffo]

shrinking mink hades

[strat1117]

raising dental floss

[professorchaos]

, waxin' it down

[mretzloff]

and cleaning it

[professorchaos]

Pluckin' the floss!

[mretzloff]

Brush your teeth!

[professorchaos]

Dental floss tycoons

[mretzloff]

raised the price

[mdunn]

of mouthwash so

[mretzloff]

everyone would have

[professorchaos]

Zircon-encrusted tweezers

[mretzloff]

and nice, little

[skklog]

bug zappers for

[tpoof]

extreme dental hygiene

[DSB]

using banjo strings.

[strat1117]

in a little

[professorchaos]

oil of Aphrodite

[Mr. Scruffy]

made in Montana

[tpoof]

Now, kissabley fresh,

[professorchaos]

movin' to Montana

[tpoof]

ridea painted pony

[professorchaos]

a bit dinky

[tpoof]

smell that smell

[Mr. Scruffy]

known as "stinkfoot"

[Biffo]

better than stinkeye

[strat1117]

or an occasional

[professorchaos]

case of bromodrosis

[Biffo]

or fishy flatulence

[tpoof]

change socks, shorts!

[Biffo]

shirt, shoes, slacks

[professorchaos]

before Gigantor attacks!

[mretzloff]

Four years and

[professorchaos]

four days until

[mretzloff]

the big party

[professorchaos]

with liveried midgets,

[mretzloff]

on the second

[strat1117]

python boot or

[mretzloff]

the other one

[strat1117]

into Dark Star

[skklog]

far from the

[mretzloff]

light of the

[strat1117]

transitive nightfall of

[mretzloff]

the old, aged

[strat1117]

diamonds, in the

[mretzloff]

rough. The next

[professorchaos]

exquisite little inconvenience

[mretzloff]

that did befall

[professorchaos]

the peasants in

[mretzloff]

the outskirts of

[DSB]

the Hotel California

[mretzloff]

but within the

[DSB]

hallowed halls of

[Biffo]

the fairy king

[SRock]

and his court.

[Mr. Scruffy]

Perturbed pajama tailors

[tpoof]

discerningly hemming nightshirts

[Mr. Scruffy]

nonetheless needled needlessly

[tpoof]

sowing sewing stitches

[Mr. Scruffy]

while weaving wooly

[tpoof]

mammoth mammary material

[mretzloff]

located in the

[professorchaos]

tundra, mile after

[mretzloff]

mile, but before

[professorchaos]

Nanook rubs it

[mretzloff]

on his chest.

[professorchaos]

No, no, no

[thunderball]

was the cry

[mretzloff]

, not that! You

[professorchaos]

handsome Armenian SOB

[skklog]

I hate that

[mretzloff]

word! Why do

[strat1117]

birds suddenly appear

[professorchaos]

the cretins hop?

[strat1117]

The monster mash

[Mr. Scruffy]

Incongruous iconoclasts inquired

[strat1117]

icily inching inward

[mretzloff]

in ibibio ideals

[Mr. Scruffy]

inciting indigenous indigents

[DSB]

in iridescent ivory

[mretzloff]

ironically irrelevant in

[professorchaos]

lead lined lederhosen

[mretzloff]

laden like lady

[DSB]

lucky little Lilliputians.

[mretzloff]

What is up

[strat1117]

?, he asked zenly.

[DSB]

Ignorance is bliss

[SRock]

yet bliss isn't

[DE7]

coming fast enough

[tpoof]

taking its time

[strat1117]

delaying the gratification

[mretzloff]

of the time

[professorchaos]

of the season

[mretzloff]

around noon. A

[Greyfox]

long wait appears

[strat1117]

under the rock

[mretzloff]

in the forest

[strat1117]

behind the garden

[skklog]

in front of

[DSB]

the red salamander

[skklog]

and it got

[DSB]

what it deserved

[mretzloff]

but not more.

[DSB]

The garden gnome

[laberinto24]

abandoned his throne

[DE7]

and his cellphone

[mretzloff]

in the corner of

[strat1117]

the lawn jockey's

[DE7]

jockey shorts. However,

[strat1117]

the fast track

[professorchaos]

to global infamy

[strat1117]

eluded him that

[DSB]

special magical radical

[professorchaos]

tasty bacon flavored

[strat1117]

day. Instead, the

[DSB]

great garden gnome

[strat1117]

knocked the jockey

[DSB]

on his porcelain

[mretzloff]

plate collection that

[strat1117]

the gardner had

[Mr. Scruffy]

dusted beyond recognition

[strat1117]

. About that time

[Mr. Scruffy]

Hare Krishna monks

[strat1117]

filled the airport

[professorchaos]

causing a panic

[strat1117]

among the security

[mretzloff]

personnel. Two minutes

[pal]

was all that

[DSB]

the Krishnas needed

[pal]

to completely cover

[DSB]

their shaved heads

[strat1117]

with bacon strips.

[DSB]

Oh, sizzling bacon

[strat1117]

thou art fair

[DSB]

as a buxom

[strat1117]

beer garden waitress

[DSB]

carrying steins of

[SRock]

fine barley malt

[Mr. Scruffy]

nectar so sudsy

[strat1117]

, elixir of the

[DSB]

Krishna bacon cult.

[Mr. Scruffy]

B&B connectivity issues

[tpoof]

dictate the pace

[skklog]

well I will

[DSB]

believe badgers ate

[tpoof]

bad boarhair brushes

[DSB]

and vomited on

[tpoof]

his new shoes

[DSB]

causing him to

[tpoof]

holler... "Shoeshine Boy!"

[skklog]

please get that

[professorchaos]

pair of dirty

[skklog]

shoes off now!

[professorchaos]

Dreamed I was

[skklog]

hit by a

[professorchaos]

yellow snow snowball

[skklog]

it tasted like

[DSB]

. . . yellow snow. Urine

[Mr. Scruffy]

is normally harvested

[skklog]

at the end

[mretzloff]

of March and

[DSB]

depending on temperature

[Mr. Scruffy]

flash dried before

[mretzloff]

the end of June.

[DSB]

As summer ends

[mretzloff]

, fall begins. Winter

[Mr. Scruffy]

is Edgar's first

[pal]

sign that it's

[Miles]

time to switch

[DSB]

his crusty underwear.

[SRock]

Meanwhile back at

[professorchaos]

the naugahyde ranch

[Biffo]

rabid rabbits regularly

[professorchaos]

regurgitate rancid rooks

[thunderball]

while wearing weird

[Mr. Scruffy]

puffy plaid pantaloons

[Miles]

plus pilfered platemail

[Mr. Scruffy]

posthumously placed posteriorly

[Biffo]

silly singing squirrels

[DE7]

stentorianly speaking sonnets

[Mr. Scruffy]

except on Mondays.

[SRock]

However on Monday,

[professorchaos]

alliteration was prohibited

[tpoof]

but on Tuesday

[professorchaos]

alliteration, always allowed

[mdunn]

for friendly faces

[skklog]

unless you looked

[tpoof]

into your past

[skklog]

you would see

[strat1117]

where the bacon

[skklog]

is, but if

[DE7]

you're a vegitarian

[skklog]

thats not good

[strat1117]

because you will

[mretzloff]

eventually find the

[DSB]

pig isn't vegetable.

[mretzloff]

Inside a four

[strat1117]

dimensional prison cell

[Miles]

, a duck quacks

[DSB]

thinking about time

[Biffo]

space and motion

[SRock]

as it relates

[thirdeye]

to something that

[tpoof]

he stepped in

[SRock]

behind the barn.

[profsaffel]

"Preposterous!", he cried