three word story

[Chaserx911]

there is a...

[Bluestaco]

generous monkey with

[TstebinsB]

bananas to spare.

[SRock]

He jumped down...

[Sullybob]

on to the

[burnwood]

old tire swing

[ctr]

doing his thing

[Sullybob]

with his bling

[_JP_]

and his ring.

[King of Kailua]

Beginning his shave

[joshmpdx]

He picked up...

[SRock]

...his D3 Fatboy...

[_JP_]

and a tube

[Grizzled Greek]

of PRORASO Green

[Jim]

and shaved himself.

[burnwood]

Why use Proraso...

[Bluestaco]

Instead of green

[Jim]

Ham and eggs

[_JP_]

and sourdough pancakes?

[joshmpdx]

"Because proraso personifies...

[_JP_]

prolific personal predicaments

[joshmpdx]

in relation to...

[Jim]

Pancakes grilling up.

[Grizzled Greek]

the cast iron

[SRock]

skillet was hot

[Jim]

,the chicken sizzled

[neilxvx]

in the pot.

[thirdeye]

and the beans

[joshmpdx]

seasoned with pork,

[Sullybob]

were just fine,

[thirdeye]

although somewhat mushy...

[Sullybob]

and slightly grainy

[thirdeye]

but juicy as...

[Sullybob]

fresh mustard pie

[neilxvx]

and fried mucus.

[joshmpdx]

the lima's however,

[Sullybob]

were just beany

[rabidpotatochip]

As beans are.

[neilxvx]

hahahaha:lol:

[joshmpdx]

Benny, heavy hitter...

[thirdeye]

swung and missed....

[expatCanuck]

...the lima beans...

[Bluestaco]

By THAT much.

[_JP_]

And that's the

[thirdeye]

way split pea....

[Jim]

should be cooked.

[expatCanuck]

My friend Jim ...

[Jim]

Loves his pancakes,

[joshmpdx]

is luckily omnipresent,

[expatCanuck]

and although knowledgeable

[joshmpdx]

humble as a...

[burnwood]

gopher on crack.

[_JP_]

"Not humble enough,"

[thirdeye]

and yet he....

[burnwood]

spoke with a

[Sullybob]

dignified air of

[Jim]

A broken Man.

[expatCanuck]

A bottle of ...

[thirdeye]

Tabasco by his...

[Sullybob]

chicken pot pie

[expatCanuck]

allowed him to

[Bluestaco]

keep himself regular

[Jim]

and somewhat flushed.

[expatCanuck]

The chickens, however, ...

[Grizzled Greek]

were not pleased

[SRock]

about being eaten

[thirdeye]

by the hobo...

[Jim]

with a great

[_JP_]

big unruly beard

[expatCanuck]

that had never

[Bluestaco]

been shaved, except

[burnwood]

once in Mexico

[theperfectstorm]

no stinkin' badges

[thirdeye]

were needed for....

[Jim]

the romantic evening

[theperfectstorm]

which couldn't begin

[thirdeye]

until the moon...

[Julius Caesar]

was above horizon

[theperfectstorm]

and the stars

[Julius Caesar]

were shining bright

[expatCanuck]

and the music

[theperfectstorm]

filled our heads

[Sullybob]

with thoughts of

[Jim]

tallow based soaps

[Bluestaco]

and lamb enchiladas.

[_JP_]

It's as if

[thirdeye]

this story will...

[King of Kailua]

somehow return to

[Jim]

A dark and

[_JP_]

mysterious side which

[Bluestaco]

involves shaving. However,

[expatCanuck]

in the kitchen,

[Jim]

with Dina, I

[thirdeye]

came across the...

[expatCanuck]

blade and guitar ...

[SRock]

I must choose

[Jim]

between,the beef

[SRock]

and the duck

[Sullybob]

and the spam.

[Quietville]

Once in a

[yardpup01]

while spam is

[Sullybob]

like fine wine,

[Jim]

rich or poor,

[Sullybob]

bottle or bag

[Bluestaco]

red or white

[Sullybob]

dry or sweet

[Jim]

To each their

[_JP_]

ignoring that post.

[burnwood]

To each their


Thank Gawd for

what is this?

[King of Kailua]

Back on track

[NorthALABeeKeep]

The police called ....

[saegoose]

to report that

[Grizzled Greek]

a giant badger

[burnwood]

holding a brush

[76coupedeville]

wanted me to

[Bluestaco]

explain myself, as

[Jim]

I seemed to

[saegoose]

ironically appear to

[tortswon]

gnaw on a

[burnwood]

stick from a

[Sullybob]

mulberry tree. Later

[expatCanuck]

that same evening,

[ECOSSE]

pushing a wheelbarrow

[Sullybob]

a giant ape

[ECOSSE]

wearing a thong

[joshmpdx]

asked for lather...

[Sullybob]

and a balm

[SRock]

for his post-shave.

[Sullybob]

Then he set

[_JP_]

the wheelbarrow down.

[Sullybob]

And picked up

[thirdeye]

a fat handled...

[Sullybob]

waffle iron, and

[_JP_]

loaded it with

[Sullybob]

jam and peanut

[_JP_]

scented shave cream

[Sullybob]

but it clogged

[Quietville]

my arteries. Just

[Sullybob]

in time to

[joshmpdx]

grab the slant

[thirdeye]

and whack the...

[Jim]

wheelbarrow sharply and

[expatCanuck]

splattered shave cream

[thirdeye]

all over her....

[joshmpdx]

e and there, everywhere!

[Jim]

Back at home

[thirdeye]

the ugly mugged....

[joshmpdx]

baby ruth, tossed...

[Mr. Todd]

all his straights...

[thirdeye]

out the big

[Jim]

bathroom window, Ethel

[thirdeye]

have you lost...

[joshmpdx]

your wedding ring?!

[expatCanuck]

"I sold it ... "

[Sticky]

when my pms

[thirdeye]

kicked into overdrive.

[joshmpdx]

Ethel and Ruth...

[King of Kailua]

conspired against me

[ECOSSE]

with conniving machinations

[expatCanuck]

to leave me

[Jim]

,not that I

[expatCanuck]

was deficient in

[thirdeye]

those unspoken areas...

[Dharion]

of them but

[Jim]

more to the

[thirdeye]

science of bathing

[saegoose]

technique I employed

[_JP_]

a water softener.

[thirdeye]

It was made...

[saegoose]

of a sieve

[King of Kailua]

..., some shea butter,

[Jim]

lubricated the chain

[King of Kailua]

. Using hot water

[RoyalKooparillo]

and a racoon

[King of Kailua]

I exfoliated my

[RoyalKooparillo]

posterior while thinking,

[burnwood]

Why is this...

[Jim]

here at all?

[RoyalKooparillo]

To which the

[Grizzled Greek]

racoon said loudly

[burnwood]

LOOK, I see

[calcustom]

...an ingrown hair...

[RoyalKooparillo]

But lacking tweezers,

[Dharion]

I had to

[expatCanuck]

remove it with

[Jim]

a pair of

[joshmpdx]

henchmen from the

[expatCanuck]

Andes. You see, ...

[Bluestaco]

it's these things

[Mr. Todd]

that make me...

[ECOSSE]

pet the kitty

[expatCanuck]

when I shave.

[Sullybob]

At the opera

[Jim]

I saw that

[expatCanuck]

the baritones had

[Sullybob]

changed to tenors

[SRock]

and the tenors

[Sullybob]

, they changed to

[calcustom]

chickens without pants

[Evbo]

excitedly running around

[Sullybob]

shouting, the kitchen

[calcustom]

As I watched

[Evbo]

How titillating, I

[joshmpdx]

i felt flutters

[Sullybob]

from the shutters

[Evbo]

that made me

[RoyalKooparillo]

squeal! Nervously, I

[Sullybob]

dipped the quill

[Evbo]

but the inkwell

[RoyalKooparillo]

was a brassiere!

[Evbo]

"Oy gevalt!" he

[Sullybob]

shouted from the

[Evbo]

one woman shouted.

[RoyalKooparillo]

Luckily for me,

[Jim]

Back in NJ,

[Sullybob]

Bigfoot was starting

[Evbo]

to shamble down

[Sullybob]

the turn pike

[expatCanuck]

from the slope.

[Jim]

Grinning he said,

[Evbo]

"Gimme some waffles!"

[Sullybob]

With jam, ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

[Evbo]

And then, he

[Jim]

slipped a fifty

[Evbo]

into her pocket.

[thirdeye]

Once again he...

[King of Kailua]

was very confused :confused:

[Evbo]

thumped his chest

[_JP_]

twiddled his nose

[Evbo]

and sat down.

[_JP_]

The seat was

[Evbo]

carved of marble

[thirdeye]

chips that cut...

[Evbo]

into his tender

[thirdeye]

Lilly white ankles...

[Evbo]

"Ouch!", quoth he!

[Jim]

As the blood

[thirdeye]

trickled down the....

[calcustom]

exposed gaping wounds

[King of Kailua]

the passion flowed

[calcustom]

and made me

[SRock]

Weak to my

[Jim]

knees. Fred intimated

[ECOSSE]

that he would

[Sullybob]

bandage his ankles.

[ECOSSE]

But Fred only

[Jim]

went through the

[Evbo]

front door, and

[expatCanuck]

found a hospital.

[_JP_]

There the doctor