I'm probably the only....thus far...

[sol92258]

I'm probably the only one to do this, thus far, if you read this it's likely to stick in your head and you'll find yourself doing this, ye be warrrrrn'd!

I started traditional wet shaving back around October '07, by that I mean that is when I acquired my first DE, have been using brush & soap for about a year now, and even when I used Schick cartridge razors and can foam, I was taught to shave using traditional techniques (at least 2 passes, plenty of water, etc...), but back to the story....
Now that Spring has sprung (and Summer crouches to attack...I remember a girl in college named Summer - and yes, she was hot), I've had to mow my yard a few times, the other day I was mowing, and apparently had shaving on my mind, so that as I mowed, I imagined "(grass) blade reduction, WTG, then XTG, etc. for my yard.....I then laughed to myself about the ridiculousness of it, then it hit me...mowing lather for the yard! Seriously, wouldn't it be great if there were a product we could spray on the yard that would make the grass stand nice and straight so we could get every blade nice and short?
I know it's crazy, but hey, it's Friday!

[Unit 91]

I also knew a girl in college named Summer. She was also hot.

[Spaceman_Spiff]

Engineering induction... All girls named summer are hot!

[micah1_8]

Engineering induction... All girls named summer are hot!

I knew a girl named Summer, and she was -- okay, but I wouldn't call her hot. I also know a girl named Autumn, now, I always thought she was pretty good looking... but then, my tastes run a little catty-bykonkus to most folks'.

That said, I've been known to do a 2-pass on my yard when I've let it go for far too long... mow with it set at 5 and then drop to 2 or 3....

You probably could rig some sort of foam spraying unit up on the front of your mower, with a rake right behind the sprayer... sort of a moisturizing strip for the mower!

I always thought they should rig up a system that works like those in-ground sprinklers, only with weed-eater attachments on the ends that unravel 10 foot long strands of string... When the neighborhood kids won't get off your lawn, just turn on the hide-away mower system, it won't take too long to break them of that habit.:eek:

[sol92258]

I knew a girl named Summer, and she was -- okay, but I wouldn't call her hot. I also know a girl named Autumn, now, I always thought she was pretty good looking... but then, my tastes run a little catty-bykonkus to most folks'.
I also knew someone named Autumn, and she was apparently a 'Texas' Autumn, still very hot!


That said, I've been known to do a 2-pass on my yard when I've let it go for far too long... mow with it set at 5 and then drop to 2 or 3....
+1


You probably could rig some sort of foam spraying unit up on the front of your mower, with a rake right behind the sprayer... sort of a moisturizing strip for the mower!
Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the future of advanced lawnmowing, the John Deere Fusion, 5, yes FIVE High RPM carbon tungsten blades, to give your yard the closest, smoothest mow ever (some sensitive yards may be susceptible to mower burn and ingrown weeds)


I always thought they should rig up a system that works like those in-ground sprinklers, only with weed-eater attachments on the ends that unravel 10 foot long strands of string... When the neighborhood kids won't get off your lawn, just turn on the hide-away mower system, it won't take too long to break them of that habit.:eek:

Now, THAT would be groovy

[Unit 91]

I'd be happy learning to mow a lawn like a major league outfield.

[sol92258]

I'd be happy learning to mow a lawn like a major league outfield.

WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, WTG, ATG, ......

:biggrin:

or a golf course, though I'd hate to be the one to do that job

[micah1_8]

I've been thinking about getting a 55 gallon drum of Pinaud's Bay rum and fixing up a spray rig as an After-mow... anything to kill that stinking Bahaya grass...

:bayrum2:

[sympleko]

I'd be happy learning to mow a lawn like a major league outfield.

The Fenway groundskeeper does a great job, and he's got a book (http://www.amazon.com/Picture-Perfect-Mowing-Techniques-Landscapes/dp/1575041510) out.

[micah1_8]

Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the future of advanced lawnmowing, the John Deere Fusion, 5, yes FIVE High RPM carbon tungsten blades, to give your yard the closest, smoothest mow ever (some sensitive yards may be susceptible to mower burn and ingrown weeds)


Yes that's right, with the help of the fine folks at Gillette, we here at John Deere have developed a system that will amaze and astound you! Here's how it works:

Using our patented Nannernannerbooboo (tm) technology, the first blade taunts your lawn, causing it to stand at attention.

The second blade then makes a sweeping pass following the grain of your lawn, cutting it in half.

The third blade quickly follows with an against the grain swipe, cutting the grass in half again.

The fourth, vibrating blade, powered by Duracell (tm) batteries, then makes a gentle lateral pass across the grain of your lawn, buffing the ends of the blades of grass, and giving your lawn the nice polished look of professionaly groomed lawns.

The fifth and final blade, using our proprietary Havacigarette (tm) technology, treats the grass with deadly carcinogens and nicotine, thus stunting it's growth.

That's all there is to it! Remember, nothing runs like a Deere!

And be sure to keep your eyes open this summer for our new "Lady Mower!" It's all the same technology as the John Deere Fusion, available in Pink!

[sol92258]

Yes that's right, with the help of the fine folks at Gillette, we here at John Deere have developed a system that will amaze and astound you! Here's how it works:

Using our patented Nannernannerbooboo (tm) technology, the first blade taunts your lawn, causing it to stand at attention.

The second blade then makes a sweeping pass following the grain of your lawn, cutting it in half.

The third blade quickly follows with an against the grain swipe, cutting the grass in half again.

The fourth, vibrating blade, powered by Duracell (tm) batteries, then makes a gentle lateral pass across the grain of your lawn, buffing the ends of the blades of grass, and giving your lawn the nice polished look of professionaly groomed lawns.

The fifth and final blade, using our proprietary Havacigarette (tm) technology, treats the grass with deadly carcinogens and nicotine, thus stunting it's growth.

That's all there is to it! Remember, nothing runs like a Deere!

And be sure to keep your eyes open this summer for our new "Lady Mower!" It's all the same technology as the John Deere Fusion, available in Pink!

Now New AND Improved, with an extra cutting blade on the back for those tough to reach places, like under the hedge, around the trees, under the deck, around permanent lawn furniture - swings, bird baths, '69 El Caminos, etc...

And coming soon, look for the Phantom mower...

[Unit 91]

The Fenway groundskeeper does a great job, and he's got a book (http://www.amazon.com/Picture-Perfect-Mowing-Techniques-Landscapes/dp/1575041510) out.

I keep telling my in-laws that as soon as I figure out how they're gonna have the Red Sox infield recreated in their front yard.

[rabidpotatochip]

Now New AND Improved, with an extra cutting blade on the back for those tough to reach places, like under the hedge, around the trees, under the deck, around permanent lawn furniture - swings, bird baths, '69 El Caminos, etc...

And coming soon, look for the Phantom mower...

I love how new and improved are mutually exclusive in advertising.

[sparkchaser]

I also knew a girl in college named Summer. She was also hot.

Ditto.

[OldSaw]

I never knew a girl named Summer, but I did know one named April May who was pretty hot.

All this talk of yard work makes me glad I am moving before the lawn needs mowing. No more mowing!!!

[sol92258]

I love how new and improved are mutually exclusive in advertising.

that's exactly why I emphasized the AND...the phrase ne'er made sense to me, especially with dog/cat food, who tastes it to see if it's truly better? And why don't they have cat flavored dog food? or mouse flavored cat food? or food flavored McDonald's food?


anyway, back to the mowing subject - this weekend looks like it'll be pretty busy, only gonna have time for a single pass mow, with some Scott's lawn food aftershave, and some Over and Out styptic powder for those irritating red bumps...

[micah1_8]

Now New AND Improved, with an extra cutting blade on the back for those tough to reach places, like under the hedge, around the trees, under the deck, around permanent lawn furniture - swings, bird baths, '69 El Caminos, etc...

And coming soon, look for the Phantom mower...

Yes, that's right! It's all part of the John Deere mowing system-- a complete line of products designed to give your lawn that special appearance that keeps the gardeners coming back for more! Be sure to try Springex Lawn Cream (tm) specially formulated to give your lawn that fresh springtime scent, now available in Wileflowr and Freshrayn scents. Got annoying lawn-lice (aka the neighbor's kids)? Then you need to try our new Imobeechyoazz (tm) audible repellent or for more serious infestations, Angrybulldogonaweakchain (tm) the visible repellent that rids your lawn of those troublesome pests.*

Warning: May cause sudden loss of limb, life, or bladder control. Members of the Vick family should not use Angrybulldogonaweakchain as it may promote an irrational urge to gamble or use drugs, or cause a strong desire to tank one's professional sports carreer. Angrybulldogonaweakchain should not be used with infants who are not crying or with small children who eat their vegetables regularly. In the rare event that Angrybulldogonaweakchain causes an erection lasting more than 5 seconds, please consult your therapist, and possibly a religious leader.

[sol92258]

Yes, that's right! It's all part of the John Deere mowing system-- a complete line of products designed to give your lawn that special appearance that keeps the gardeners coming back for more! Be sure to try Springex Lawn Cream (tm) specially formulated to give your lawn that fresh springtime scent, now available in Wileflowr and Freshrayn scents. Got annoying lawn-lice (aka the neighbor's kids)? Then you need to try our new Imobeechyoazz (tm) audible repellent or for more serious infestations, Angrybulldogonaweakchain (tm) the visible repellent that rids your lawn of those troublesome pests.*

Warning: May cause sudden loss of limb, life, or bladder control. Members of the Vick family should not use Angrybulldogonaweakchain as it may promote an irrational urge to gamble or use drugs, or cause a strong desire to tank one's professional sports carreer. Angrybulldogonaweakchain should not be used with infants who are not crying or with small children who eat their vegetables regularly. In the rare event that Angrybulldogonaweakchain causes an erection lasting more than 5 seconds, please consult your therapist, and possibly a religious leader.

slow day at the office, eh?