How does one become a Steward or Moderator?

[zander]

The title pretty much says it all: How does one become a Steward or Moderator on B&B?

[Seraphim]

It is a complex sytem that combines nepotism, graft, outright extortion, a desire to be #1, blackmail, the dewey decimal sytem, and a dash of desire to help out with keepin tabs on the forum's best interests...



In other words.....I have absolutely no idea how it works:w00t:

[honed]

it is a complex sytem that combines nepotism, graft, outright extortion, a desire to be #1, blackmail, the dewey decimal sytem, and a dash of desire to help out with keepin tabs on the forum's best interests...



In other words.....i have absolutely no idea how it works:w00t:

+1

[franz]

Deathmatch.

[joshmpdx]

I like my coffee black so it's not me you need to impress... it's the fella's who like their cappacino's extra dry that you'll need to speak with.

[mdunn]

I can tell you how it happened to me... I thought it was a kidnapping, the mods bundled me up into a van (i should have noticed the blue badges they were wearing, or the incredible close shaves) but i just thought "oh my gosh, a group of male models is abducting me!"

I awoke in nicks garage and was handed a mop and some rubber gloves, it was then i realized that i was being inducted, that i had a shot at that most precious rite of passage, that sacred task you must do before becoming a B&B mod... Cleaning nicks garage.

seriously though, there is nothing you can do, save for being a solid b&b'er. We notice guys who go out of their way to help newbies, post good threads, provide thoughtful posts etc.

[Seraphim]

We notice guys who go out of their way to help newbies, post good threads, provide thoughtful posts etc.



That leaves me out......:ohmy:



Perhaps they'll come up with a new badge: "detractor", or something along those lines for members such as myself....:tongue_sm

[zander]

:lol::lol::lol: You guys always manage to crack me up. Thank you for your mildly informative answers, albeit mostly humorous.

[mdunn]

That leaves me out......:ohmy:



Perhaps they'll come up with a new badge: "detractor", or something along those lines for members such as myself....:tongue_sm

There is no conceivable badge for what you are :001_tt2:

[dpm802]

Perhaps they'll come up with a new badge: "detractor", or something along those lines for members such as myself....:tongue_smIf nothing else, I think you've just talked yourself into a new custom title.

[Telecaster52]

There is no conceivable badge for what you are :001_tt2:

maybe an "enigma" badge?

[dpm802]

I'm a Moderator on another vBulletin forum, and I was a SysOp back in the pre-Internet days of FidoNet, running a dial-up Opus board.

Its a LOT of work, and not for the faint hearted. The stuff that goes on backstage would probably blow your mind.

[Balcmeg]

Don´t forget a wired sense of humor and .... Oh, i cant even say it!

[Seraphim]

I picture the Mods are in a dimly lit Command Center that somewhat resembles a cross between an air traffic control tower, and Mission Control at Houston back in the Appollo mission glory days.

There is always a hum of constant moderating going on, Spam being deleted, BST corraling, etc....Then, just when all seems to be going smoothly.....










CODE RED!



"I repeat, we have a CODE RED in the Barbershop! All Mods on deck! Look lively there Austin! Someone wake up Ouch for crying out loud, this is serious!"

That's right, what had started as a simple discussion about gardening or some such had somehow taken a turn for the worse.....

The Mods break out the fireproof suits, claxons sound, and the flash of red sirens cut through the control room like the rockets red glare from the Star Spangled Banner...


"Prepare the heavy artillery! On my mark......

3.....

2.....

1.....

NOW!"

Like they do to arm a nuclear warhead, the Mods have to turn a set of two keys simultaneously on either end of the control room....tension is runing high....






Suddenly, the alarms go silent....you could hear a pin drop.....every Mod is holding his breath......


Did we get it?



Oh yeah! Mission sucessful! Yet another thread moved to the Clownhouse, well done, Men!

This is followed by alot of back slapping, drinks being poured, fine cigars being lit, and a sense of esprit de corp that is not often found outside of actual combat situations.....

[mdunn]

Who told you about the mod control centre :mad3:


This is followed by alot of back slapping, drinks being poured, fine cigars being lit, and a sense of esprit de corp that is not often found outside of actual combat situations.....

To be honest, we skip straight to this bit a lot :w00t:

[zander]

It's funny you mention a "mod control center." I was actually going to ask if there was a B&B headquarters somewhere, but I'm guess there isn't one? too bad, I was getting excited to visit...:c17:

[SiBurning]

I tried to bribe the mods out of a custom title with my chocolate nib espresso cookies. It almost worked. Then they saw the dirty sock I used to make the coffee. They made me steward as my penance.

[Legion]

How do you become a steward?

First you have to go down 'the crossroad at midnight, with a bottle of Jack Daniels and your guitar...

[honed]

That leaves me out......:ohmy:



Perhaps they'll come up with a new badge: "detractor", or something along those lines for members such as myself....:tongue_sm

You certainly are a unique breed.

I think we can just call it "The Craig"
It's not a title nor a person. It's a situation.

[johnniegold]

The way to become a Mod/Stew is the same way you get to Carnegie Hall...

[maxman]

From what I've seen over the years, the Mods are carefully selected.
The stewards on the other hand.... well.... :laugh:
I do know that hanging around for a long time isn't the answer.
Having several thousand posts and only a few of them useful isn't the answer.
You need to contribute to the forums and uphold the mission statement.

But first, you have to find out what exactly that means.

If you love B&B then you'll know that it is an honour to be selected.
You'll also know that they put in a lot of work to keep this place running.

I've been behind the scenes in other places years ago when I did some online gaming and I know how hard it is to keep the peace.

Mods and stewards like to have fun and don't mind being ribbed once and a while, but their actions don't deserve to be criticized. It's never easy when you have the top down view.

Somehow during this post I climbed up on a soap box. I'm done. I'll get off it now. :001_smile

[proxymoron]

I imagine being recognized for spending excessive time here is bittersweet at best. The rest of us can still wallow happily in denial.

[Luc]

I had to send fruit baskets...

[jakespoppy]

I picture the Mods are in a dimly lit Command Center that somewhat resembles a cross between an air traffic control tower, and Mission Control at Houston back in the Appollo mission glory days.

There is always a hum of constant moderating going on, Spam being deleted, BST corraling, etc....
Hey, you've been there? If you noticed the guys scurrying around, serving drinks and snacks and cleaning up and doing any other menial tasks assigned, that was us stewards.

How do you become a steward?

First you have to go down 'the crossroad at midnight, with a bottle of Jack Daniels and your guitar...
...this is one way.....

The way to become a Mod/Stew is the same way you get to Carnegie Hall...
....yes, you turn right at New Jersey....

From what I've seen over the years, the Mods are carefully selected.
The stewards on the other hand.... well.... :laugh:
I do know that hanging around for a long time isn't the answer.
Having several thousand posts and only a few of them useful isn't the answer.
You need to contribute to the forums and uphold the mission statement.

But first, you have to find out what exactly that means.

If you love B&B then you'll know that it is an honour to be selected.
You'll also know that they put in a lot of work to keep this place running.

I've been behind the scenes in other places years ago when I did some online gaming and I know how hard it is to keep the peace.

Mods and stewards like to have fun and don't mind being ribbed once and a while, but their actions don't deserve to be criticized. It's never easy when you have the top down view.

Somehow during this post I climbed up on a soap box. I'm done. I'll get off it now. :001_smile
....no, it's not like this at all....

I had to send fruit baskets...
....It's more like this.

And mostly, you have to say "yes" when asked. :thumbup1:

[stobes21]

It is a complex sytem that combines nepotism, graft, outright extortion, a desire to be #1, blackmail, the dewey decimal sytem, and a dash of desire to help out with keepin tabs on the forum's best interests...

Damn... I'm down with all that other stuff but I never could figure out the dewey decimal system!:lol:

[ouch]

I had to clean out Nick's garage.

[Chimensch]

I'm a Moderator on another vBulletin forum, and I was a SysOp back in the pre-Internet days of FidoNet, running a dial-up Opus board.

Its a LOT of work, and not for the faint hearted. The stuff that goes on backstage would probably blow your mind.
Ha! I also ran a FidoNet BBS.

[dpm802]

Ha! I also ran a FidoNet BBS.I was 1:261/1031, The_BUSY_SIGNAL out of Baltimore, MD.

[Mr. Scruffy]

I had to bring do-nuts.

[csmorris]

The title pretty much says it all: How does one become a Steward or Moderator on B&B?

I always thought it was just pure bad luck that contributed to your selection :tongue_sm

[maxman]

Ok so apparently it doesn't have anything to do with your involvement in the B&B community but rather your ability to do labour and/or provide gifts for the existing mods.

I should have known. :001_rolle

I'm just gonna stay out of this. I don't do windows.

[SiBurning]

Somehow during this post I climbed up on a soap box. I'm done. I'll get off it now. :001_smile

Box of shaving soap?

[ouch]

I don't do windows.

List of potential mods:

dpm802
chimensch
stobes21
maxman
csmorris
jakespoppy


:lol:

[smokejumper]

Mods & Stewards can be thought of as the shaving equivalent of the Royal Navy in the ninteenth centuary


PRESS GANGED:laugh:

[SiBurning]

Mods & Stewards can be thought of as the shaving equivalent of the Royal Navy in the ninteenth centuary


PRESS GANGED:laugh:

What? Do I have to wear a pressed shirt now? Isn't my B&B branded t-shirt good enough any more?

[maxman]

List of potential mods:

dpm802
chimensch
stobes21
maxman
csmorris
jakespoppy


:lol:

*sigh*
I guess I'll go back to giving back rubs to lingerie models.
They said I could bring some help......

[csmorris]

List of potential mods:

dpm802
chimensch
stobes21
maxman
csmorris
jakespoppy


:lol:

:ohmy: :scared: :hang:

[GreekGuy]

List of potential mods:

dpm802
chimensch
stobes21
maxman
csmorris
jakespoppy
GreekGuy


:lol:

I fixed your post. Note, in my modesty I added myself to the bottom of the list

PS I do windows and vacuum car carpeting :biggrin1:

[tvldatsi]

unless it involves occasionally thoughtless and inflammatory comments on serious subjects and starting threads that nobody reads I fear I may have to remain among the proles

[The Knize]

Mods & Stewards can be thought of as the shaving equivalent of the Royal Navy in the ninteenth centuary


PRESS GANGED:laugh:

As Churchill did not actually say: "famed for rum, s_d__y, and the lash." :001_smile

Fear of being asked to do it helps!

[orchestrion]

I've heard that once one's shave den exceeds $100,000 in total value he is considered for a moderator position.

[brianw]

Well it has to do with a wrong turn off the Jersey turnpike... people in black ski masks...black lowflying helicopters...and the rest is a blur.

[Chimensch]

List of potential mods:

dpm802
chimensch
stobes21
maxman
csmorris
jakespoppy


:lol:

OK! Where do I sign?

[oc_in_fw]

The way to become a Mod/Stew is the same way you get to Carnegie Hall...

By strolling down 7th avenue?:lol:

[Chimensch]

I was 1:261/1031, The_BUSY_SIGNAL out of Baltimore, MD.
It was the SoftranBBS but I don't remember the node number.

[gearchow]

I thought they said "Stewart".

-jim

[ouch]

*sigh*
I guess I'll go back to giving back rubs to lingerie models.
They said I could bring some help......

List of potential mods:

dpm802
chimensch
stobes21
maxman
maxman's lingerie models
csmorris
jakespoppy

Updated list after discussion in mod forum.

[maxman]

List of potential mods:

dpm802
chimensch
stobes21
maxman
maxman's lingerie models
csmorris
jakespoppy

Updated list after discussion in mod forum.

*sigh*
even when I win I'm losing.

[mark the shoeshine boy]

I will send you my paypal account and when you get it to the right level, i will slip your name on the consideration list....pay me more and i will tell them that you are a good guy....pay me alot more and you can my freaking position !!!!!!

[ekster]

List of potential mods:

dpm802
chimensch
stobes21
maxman
maxman's lingerie models
csmorris
jakespoppy

Updated list after discussion in mod forum.

Just to get the cat out of the bag... I'm one of those models. And we're all males. ;)

[brianw]

Just to get the cat out of the bag... I'm one of those models. And we're all males. ;)

I withdraw my vote, Ouch !!!!!

[Zephyr]

First you have to go down 'the crossroad at midnight, with a bottle of Jack Daniels and your guitar...

Done that, more than once..

[Seraphim]

Vote?

Aha.....so that means I must put together an election campaign!

My platform: Cleaning up this forum.

Yes, as a candidate, I can tell you that if elected I will solemnly swear to uphold the founding principles of B&B, or at least those principles as I interpret them.

I will crackdown on posts that contain spelling errors, grammatical errors, or errors of syntax.

Once elected......er.....I mean, if elected....Posts, and/or threads that express ideas or opinions that I do not approve, or agree with will not be deleted, but they will be heavily edited to express the Correct Worldview (mine), and a strongly worded PM will be sent to the poster.

Furthermore, there will be instituted a ZERO tolerance policy for threads about modern Williams soap! One such post and that member will have to find himself some other forum where subpar shave soaps are embraced.

Lest you think my methods be too harsh, I will also institute a policy of a shave ready Gold Dollar razor for every member, and a puck of TABAC in every pot....er...shave bowl.

Yes, my shave brothers, a GD in your dopp kit, a puck of TABAC in all shave dens, and we shall march arm in arm, in lockstep in to the glorious dawning of a glorious BBS B&B day!
http://www.fast-autos.net/diecast-cars-models/diecast-car-image-large/propaganda-poster-china-chairman-mao-vintage-style-b_160479543999.jpg

[Doc4]

Back in my day it was pretty informal ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUvSjPdw1Yk

... now it's more like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdFLPn30dvQ

:sneaky2:


I picture the Mods are in a dimly lit Command Center that somewhat resembles a cross between an air traffic control tower, and Mission Control at Houston back in the Appollo mission glory days.

.....
It's basically like this:

BTW, I hate when we have to go to Red Alert. :glare:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa_gZ_7sdZg
(sorry about the brief advert at the start)

It's funny you mention a "mod control center." I was actually going to ask if there was a B&B headquarters somewhere, but I'm guess there isn't one? too bad, I was getting excited to visit...:c17:
Nick's Garage.

I tried to bribe the mods out of a custom title with my chocolate nib espresso cookies. It almost worked. Then they saw the dirty sock I used to make the coffee. They made me steward as my penance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEYyjVuk5M8

First prize, being a steward; second prize, being a steward twice.


... third prize, being a Mod.

[maxman]

There's just something about pushing around the stewards that appeals to me.
Maybe my day will come. Maybe not.
I'm having fun for now! :laugh:

Say, can the stewards push me around?
Does that come with the contributors badge?
Maybe there should be a Platinum Level for those who are the stewards toadies....

EDIT: I mean no offense to any Stewards or toadies.

[Austin]

There's just something about pushing around the stewards that appeals to me.
Maybe my day will come. Maybe not.
I'm having fun for now! :laugh:

Say, can the stewards push me around?
Does that come with the contributors badge?
Maybe there should be a Platinum Level for those who are the stewards toadies....

EDIT: I mean no offense to any Stewards or toadies.

Dude that's mean.

[Seraphim]

Maxman has uncovered a new stratus of the B&B heirarchy:

Moderator
Steward
Toadie




Excellent!

[captp]

Maxman has uncovered a new stratus of the B&B heirarchy:

Moderator
Steward
Toadie

Excellent!

Hmmm, still no category I would fit comfortably. Maybe I could be B&B's unofficial miniranter.

[Prince]

List of potential mods:

dpm802
chimensch
stobes21
maxman
maxman's lingerie models
csmorris
jakespoppy

Updated list after discussion in mod forum.

Finally, the mod's can post actual pictures of themselves without scaring the rest of us. :w00t:

EDIT - Nevermind - I didn't see ekster's post earlier.

[Seraphim]

My campaign slogan:

Seraphim- A moderator without moderation!

[SiBurning]

He won't be happy until the mods and stews line up in carnival for pie in the face.

[BingeAndPurge]

An ability to eat two Chipotle burritos in one sitting is a start

[zander]

EDIT - Nevermind - I didn't see ekster's post earlier.

Oops!

I think it's pretty funny that this thread is getting close to receiving more replies than all of the seven or so shaving-related threads I have started, combined!

You guys are having way to much fun with this! :tongue_sm
Hopefully the communist party will put an end to this:

Vote?

Aha.....so that means I must put together an election campaign!

My platform: Cleaning up this forum.

Yes, as a candidate, I can tell you that if elected I will solemnly swear to uphold the founding principles of B&B, or at least those principles as I interpret them.

I will crackdown on posts that contain spelling errors, grammatical errors, or errors of syntax.

Once elected......er.....I mean, if elected....Posts, and/or threads that express ideas or opinions that I do not approve, or agree with will not be deleted, but they will be heavily edited to express the Correct Worldview (mine), and a strongly worded PM will be sent to the poster.

Furthermore, there will be instituted a ZERO tolerance policy for threads about modern Williams soap! One such post and that member will have to find himself some other forum where subpar shave soaps are embraced.

Lest you think my methods be too harsh, I will also institute a policy of a shave ready Gold Dollar razor for every member, and a puck of TABAC in every pot....er...shave bowl.

Yes, my shave brothers, a GD in your dopp kit, a puck of TABAC in all shave dens, and we shall march arm in arm, in lockstep in to the glorious dawning of a glorious BBS B&B day!
http://www.fast-autos.net/diecast-cars-models/diecast-car-image-large/propaganda-poster-china-chairman-mao-vintage-style-b_160479543999.jpg

[SiBurning]

You guys are having way to much fun with this! :tongue_sm
Hopefully the comMODist party will put an end to this:

They're more likely to join the party than spoil it.

[Doc4]

Maxman has uncovered a new stratus of the B&B heirarchy:

Moderator
Steward
Contributor
Toadie
Flunkie
Old Woman. Man. Man, sorry. I'm thrity-seven.
Baldrick
Maxman




Excellent!

:thumbup1:

[The Nid Hog]

I can only tell you how it was that I became a Steward. From what I understand, there are many ways.

Sometime around Christmas of 2009, I was working late at my office. My kids were already on holiday and I wanted to get home, but I had a project due by the end of the year and I had to get it finished. After far too many cups of coffee, the monitor in front of me was getting so blurry that I could hardly read what I was writing. To take a break, I switched over to B&B for a little while. I don't remember what thread I was reading--maybe it was one in which ClubmanRob was explaining exactly what is and isn't witch hazel? Anyway, I must have fallen asleep while I was reading.

When I awoke, all the lights were off in my office. It was pitch black--the only light coming from the faint glow of my monitor. However I knew immediately that I wasn't alone. In fact, my office was crowded by what seemed to be hundreds of shadowy figures and the room was filled with a thick, citrusy scent that I can only compare to Williams shaving soap. I became frightened as I realized that they were dressed as if they were going to a costume party. Hundreds of historical costumes. Most were clean-shaven, altough several sported mustaches. Here and there, I saw men dressed in contemporary clothing. When I think back on it, they must be the Mods. However, their faces were invisible to me, covered as they were by masks that look exactly like the B&B Badger logo.

I can't lie to you. I was terrified. I don't know what I would have done if one of the figures didn't step forward and address me. A jovial, middle-aged man wearing a business suit of days gone by. His hair was immaculately brushed and he had a thick but well-kept mustache. My stomach felt like it was filled with ice water when I realized that it was King Gillette. With burning eyes, he pointed with me and, in a voice that still echoes in my head, he said:

You! The one who calls himself The Nid Hog! You will be my Aftershave Steward!

And with that, he clapped his hands.

From somewhere in the crowd, a hooded figure stepped forward. His hands were covered in chainmail gauntlets and he carried a small wooden box. At King Gillette's command, he lifted the lid of the box. Inside was a Fatboy. But it was not the Fatboy that you or I know. No, this one was glowing red as if it had just emerged from the Forge of Vulcan.

Take it!, he roared.

"Take it? That thing's red hot. Are you crazy?"

Take it!, he shouted again. And, almost without thinking, I reached out and grabbed the flaming razor. To my surprise, it was not hot at all. In fact, a strange chill spread up my arm as I grasped the razor in my right hand.

I barely had time to wonder at this frightful turn of events when the crowd began to part. Something massive was moving through the assembled ranks. I felt a hot wind on my face and the scent of a thousand bottles of Lilac Vegetal opened all at once. If what had already happend seemed odd, this was beyond belief. The thing that made its way to me through the crowd was a giant badger. It was easily the size of the largest brown bear that I have ever seen in the forest. And it walked on its hind legs--effortlessly.

I must have been gaping because the badger spoke to me, in a pleasant growl not unlike the voice of the late Studs Terkel.

"Shut it, kiddo. Yer gonna get flies in your yap."

I meekly complied with the badger's order.

"Now I want you to take that razor in your hand and--get this--shave your initials into my fur. Yeah, you heard that right. Don't worry about me. I've seen a heckuva lot worse, let me tell you."

I hesitated for a moment, but the badger had already turned and bent over as you might do so that someone could sign something on your back. I stared with a growing curiosity at his striped coat, marked here and there with bald patches where others had already signed. I was sure that I could make out some of them...

"Hurry up there, you!" rumbled the badger. "Ya think I got all night?"

And with that, I began to shave. There was no scent of scortched fur as the razor cut across the poor beasts hide. I was saddened to dry shave this wondrous creature, but no one had given me the time or the equipment to create a lather. In a matter of seconds it was done.

No sooner had I completed my work than King Gillette stepped forward again. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a bottle of vintage Aqua Velva. He shook the already loosened cap off and it went spinning into the crowd. He poured a torrent of liquid from the bottle into his cupped hand. Flinging the now-empty bottle over his head, he laughed like Odin himself and closed the distance between us, rubbing his hands together. The last thing I remember as he slapped me was a metholated sting like the frozen wastes of deep space. And then, mercifully, I lost consciousness.

When I awoke, I was alone. The first rays of dawn were beginning to creep through my office window. I rubbed my eyes and wondered at the strange dream that I had experienced. And then, I saw it. As I looked at the screen of my laptop, still aimed at B&B, I noticed the badge next to my name.

"Steward"

I swear that I could still hear King Gillette's laughter reverberating through the halls.

[mark the shoeshine boy]

i haven;t seen this many Mods in one place except behind the "Razor Curtain" where we hide at....lurking at all of you !!!!:blink:

[mandoman]

you mean i need to help people why :lol:

[maxman]

Dude that's mean.

I'm sorry, It didn't come out right. Not right at all.
I hang my head in shame.
I'll shave with Williams tomorrow and use a Derby blade as my punishment.
If you ban me, at least let me go kicking and screaming. Lots of fuss and name calling, but no swearing. That's just not cool.

[denim]

The title pretty much says it all: How does one become a Steward or Moderator on B&B?

Step 1: be crazy. I mean, insane, bonkers.
Step 2: see step one.

[denim]

unless it involves occasionally thoughtless and inflammatory comments on serious subjects and starting threads that nobody reads I fear I may have to remain among the proles

I will remain among the proles. BTDT, got the suspenders.

[Austin]

I'm sorry, It didn't come out right. Not right at all.
I hang my head in shame.
I'll shave with Williams tomorrow and use a Derby blade as my punishment.
If you ban me, at least let me go kicking and screaming. Lots of fuss and name calling, but no swearing. That's just not cool.

:lol::lol::lol:

[SiBurning]

Sometime around Christmas of 2009...

:clap: :clap: :clap:

[luvmysuper]

From what I've seen over the years, the Mods are carefully selected.
The stewards on the other hand.... well.... :laugh:
I do know that hanging around for a long time isn't the answer.
Having several thousand posts and only a few of them useful isn't the answer.
You need to contribute to the forums and uphold the mission statement.
But first, you have to find out what exactly that means.

If you love B&B then you'll know that it is an honour to be selected.
You'll also know that they put in a lot of work to keep this place running.

I've been behind the scenes in other places years ago when I did some online gaming and I know how hard it is to keep the peace.

Mods and stewards like to have fun and don't mind being ribbed once and a while, but their actions don't deserve to be criticized. It's never easy when you have the top down view.

Somehow during this post I climbed up on a soap box. I'm done. I'll get off it now. :001_smile

That's a damn good summary right there. Thank you.

[johnniegold]

To become a Moderator, you must answer this one question:

What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[The Knize]

I can only tell you how it was that I became a Steward. From what I understand, there are many ways.

Sometime around Christmas of 2009, I was working late at my office. My kids were already on holiday and I wanted to get home, but I had a project due by the end of the year and I had to get it finished. After far too many cups of coffee, the monitor in front of me was getting so blurry that I could hardly read what I was writing. To take a break, I switched over to B&B for a little while. I don't remember what thread I was reading--maybe it was one in which ClubmanRob was explaining exactly what is and isn't witch hazel? Anyway, I must have fallen asleep while I was reading.

When I awoke, all the lights were off in my office. It was pitch black--the only light coming from the faint glow of my monitor. However I knew immediately that I wasn't alone. In fact, my office was crowded by what seemed to be hundreds of shadowy figures and the room was filled with a thick, citrusy scent that I can only compare to Williams shaving soap. I became frightened as I realized that they were dressed as if they were going to a costume party. Hundreds of historical costumes. Most were clean-shaven, altough several sported mustaches. Here and there, I saw men dressed in contemporary clothing. When I think back on it, they must be the Mods. However, their faces were invisible to me, covered as they were by masks that look exactly like the B&B Badger logo.

I can't lie to you. I was terrified. I don't know what I would have done if one of the figures didn't step forward and address me. A jovial, middle-aged man wearing a business suit of days gone by. His hair was immaculately brushed and he had a thick but well-kept mustache. My stomach felt like it was filled with ice water when I realized that it was King Gillette. With burning eyes, he pointed with me and, in a voice that still echoes in my head, he said:

You! The one who calls himself The Nid Hog! You will be my Aftershave Steward!

And with that, he clapped his hands.

From somewhere in the crowd, a hooded figure stepped forward. His hands were covered in chainmail gauntlets and he carried a small wooden box. At King Gillette's command, he lifted the lid of the box. Inside was a Fatboy. But it was not the Fatboy that you or I know. No, this one was glowing red as if it had just emerged from the Forge of Vulcan.

Take it!, he roared.

"Take it? That thing's red hot. Are you crazy?"

Take it!, he shouted again. And, almost without thinking, I reached out and grabbed the flaming razor. To my surprise, it was not hot at all. In fact, a strange chill spread up my arm as I grasped the razor in my right hand.

I barely had time to wonder at this frightful turn of events when the crowd began to part. Something massive was moving through the assembled ranks. I felt a hot wind on my face and the scent of a thousand bottles of Lilac Vegetal opened all at once. If what had already happend seemed odd, this was beyond belief. The thing that made its way to me through the crowd was a giant badger. It was easily the size of the largest brown bear that I have ever seen in the forest. And it walked on its hind legs--effortlessly.

I must have been gaping because the badger spoke to me, in a pleasant growl not unlike the voice of the late Studs Terkel.

"Shut it, kiddo. Yer gonna get flies in your yap."

I meekly complied with the badger's order.

"Now I want you to take that razor in your hand and--get this--shave your initials into my fur. Yeah, you heard that right. Don't worry about me. I've seen a heckuva lot worse, let me tell you."

I hesitated for a moment, but the badger had already turned and bent over as you might do so that someone could sign something on your back. I stared with a growing curiosity at his striped coat, marked here and there with bald patches where others had already signed. I was sure that I could make out some of them...

"Hurry up there, you!" rumbled the badger. "Ya think I got all night?"

And with that, I began to shave. There was no scent of scortched fur as the razor cut across the poor beasts hide. I was saddened to dry shave this wondrous creature, but no one had given me the time or the equipment to create a lather. In a matter of seconds it was done.

No sooner had I completed my work than King Gillette stepped forward again. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a bottle of vintage Aqua Velva. He shook the already loosened cap off and it went spinning into the crowd. He poured a torrent of liquid from the bottle into his cupped hand. Flinging the now-empty bottle over his head, he laughed like Odin himself and closed the distance between us, rubbing his hands together. The last thing I remember as he slapped me was a metholated sting like the frozen wastes of deep space. And then, mercifully, I lost consciousness.

When I awoke, I was alone. The first rays of dawn were beginning to creep through my office window. I rubbed my eyes and wondered at the strange dream that I had experienced. And then, I saw it. As I looked at the screen of my laptop, still aimed at B&B, I noticed the badge next to my name.

"Steward"

I swear that I could still hear King Gillette's laughter reverberating through the halls.

TNH,

You write like an angel, and your imagination dwarfs my own--this even though "if my thought dreams could be seen, they'd put my head in a guillotine."

Thanks pretty much the way it happened for me, too. Except you left out the being placed nude in a coffin for hours, and the secret hot iron brand and tatoos! And the blood-letting and sacrifice of various animals. And consumption of various mushrooms and other dream powders from the most isolated places in South America for the "dream quest" part of the initiation!

[brianw]

When I think back on it, they must be the Mods. However, their faces were invisible to me, covered as they were by masks that look exactly like the B&B Badger logo.

.

Something like this Nid ???

162734

[Obsessed]

I can only tell you how it was that I became a Steward. From what I understand, there are many ways. . . .

When I awoke, I was alone. The first rays of dawn were beginning to creep through my office window. I rubbed my eyes and wondered at the strange dream that I had experienced. And then, I saw it. As I looked at the screen of my laptop, still aimed at B&B, I noticed the badge next to my name.

"Steward"

I swear that I could still hear King Gillette's laughter reverberating through the halls.

And that, my friends, is why the Veg is a controlled substance in 63 countries.

Nid, you have outdone yourself!

[DFrancis]

Ouch and Jim each choose their champion, the winner gets to be a mod,the looser has to start a williams thread.

[denim]

What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

African or European swallow?

[BigFoot]

Ouch and Jim each choose their champion, the winner gets to be a mod,the looser has to start a williams thread.

That is close......but here is exactly what went down for me. Did you guys all notice that I became a Steward at about the same time Mr. Scruffy became a Mod.

Well Scruffy has always been known as the forum enforcer. I sent a PM to Jim telling him I think I could take Scruffy. It was decided we would dual and if I won I could become a Steward and Scruffy would be demoted to MOD status. If I lost Scruffy could keep the glorious and highly coveted Steward job and I would lose all of my posts and have to start over asking noobie questions specifically designed to drive Luc crazy.

So Scruffy and I met on the battlefield in Lexington MO, on the same site where one of the first true battles of the civil war were fought. The trumpets sounded at dawn and we went at it hard. At this stage weapons were not allowed we pummeled each other relentlessly. Neither of could gain the upper hand. At sunset the trumpets sounded again and neither man could be declared victorious.

It was decided that night over beer and ribs that we would resume the next morning at sun up. This time we could bring weapons.:scared: Scruffy showed up with a Puma gloriously honed and polished to a razor sharpness. I drew my President all polished for the occasion. The trumpets sounded and the battle was on. Scruffy came at me with that Puma and I thought to myself my President does not stand a chance. But I had a plan B. :thumbup1:

I returned my President to its case and drew a Puck of Williams. I fired it Frisbee style at Scruffy it stuck to the blade of his Puma and that blade just disintegrated. I drew another puck and charged him. You should have seen the fear in his eye when he saw the 2nd puck of Williams.:scared: Once I pulled my Eagle and whipped up a lather with it he just dropped to his knees in terror. It was the site of Williams lather that did him in. He raised the white flag in surrender.

I stood victorious on the Battlefield I was going to become a Steward and Scruffy was going to be demoted to moderator....I was ecstatic. But wait Jim decided I cheated by bringing the Williams onto the Battlefield. He stood by my victory but used that :cursing: Moderator power to give me the custom title I am forever doomed to wear.

I can not speak for everyone else but that my friends is how I became a Steward.

[brianw]

and now you know the rest of the story !!!!!!!!

[Intrigued]

That is close......but here is exactly what went down for me. Did you guys all notice that I became a Steward at about the same time Mr. Scruffy became a Mod.

Well Scruffy has always been known as the forum enforcer. I sent a PM to Jim telling him I think I could take Scruffy. It was decided we would dual and if I won I could become a Steward and Scruffy would be demoted to MOD status. If I lost Scruffy could keep the glorious and highly coveted Steward job and I would loose all of my posts and have to start over asking noobie questions specifically designed to drive Luc crazy.

So Scruffy and I met on the battlefield in Lexington MO, on the same site where one of the first true battles of the civil war were fought. The Bigfoot howled at dawn and we went at it hard. At this stage weapons were not allowed we pummeled each other relentlessly. Neither of could gain the upper hand. At sunset the Bigfoot howled again and neither man could be declared victorious.

It was decided that night over beer and ribs that we would resume the next morning at sun up. This time we could bring weapons.:scared: Scruffy showed up with a Puma gloriously honed and polished to a razor sharpness. I drew my President all polished for the occasion. The Bigfoot howled and the battle was on. Scruffy came at me with that Puma and I thought to myself my President does not stand a chance. But I had a plan B. :thumbup1:

I returned my President to its case and drew a Puck of Williams. I fired it Frisbee style at Scruffy it stuck to the blade of his Puma and that blade just disintegrated. I drew another puck and charged him. You should have seen the fear in his eye when he saw the 2nd puck of Williams.:scared: Once I pulled my Eagle and whipped up a lather with it he just dropped to his knees in terror. It was the site of Williams lather that did him in. He raised the white flag in surrender.

I stood victorious on the Battlefield I was going to become a Steward and Scruffy was going to be demoted to moderator....I was ecstatic. But wait Jim decided I cheated by bringing the Williams onto the Battlefield. He stood by my victory but used that :cursing: Moderator power to give me the custom title I am forever doomed to wear.

I can not speak for everyone else but that my friends is how I became a Steward.

ftfy Just trying to tell truth as you see it. :whistling:

[jakespoppy]

*sigh*
even when I win I'm losing.
Okay, now you have the mindset of a steward! :thumbup1:

I will send you my paypal account and when you get it to the right level, i will slip your name on the consideration list....pay me more and i will tell them that you are a good guy....pay me alot more and you can have my freaking position !!!!!!
...or, call him a bad name to his face and you can become a steward. :001_rolle

There's just something about pushing around the stewards that appeals to me.
Maybe my day will come. Maybe not.
I'm having fun for now! :laugh:

Say, can the stewards push me around?
Does that come with the contributors badge?
Maybe there should be a Platinum Level for those who are the stewards toadies....

EDIT: I mean no offense to any Stewards or toadies.
As a toadie-in-good standing, I didn't take offense. :001_smile


Hmmm, still no category I would fit comfortably. Maybe I could be B&B's unofficial miniranter.
Sorry, that position is already jointly held by Springs1 and Stan the Man. :wink2:

An ability to eat two Chipotle burritos in one sitting is a start
...that is to qualify as a mod. To qualify as a steward, you have to be able, while freshening the mods drinks, to get out of the way just in time without being disruptive when those two burritos hit the intestinal combustion point.

To become a Moderator, you must answer this one question:

What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
To become a Steward, you have to answer this question correctly: Hey you, ya wanna be a Steward?

...pretty much the way it happened for me, too. Except you left out the being placed nude in a coffin for hours, and the secret hot iron brand and tatoos! And the blood-letting and sacrifice of various animals. And consumption of various mushrooms and other dream powders from the most isolated places in South America for the "dream quest" part of the initiation!
Uh, no, Robbie, that was your company Christmas party, remember? :001_unsur

[BigFoot]

ftfy Just trying to tell truth as you see it. :whistling:

:lol::lol::blink::001_huh::laugh:

[The Nid Hog]

Something like this Nid ???

162734

No, it was a full head mask. And no smiles.

Now that you mention it, maybe it wasn't a mask at all...

[Mr. Scruffy]

That is close......but here is exactly what went down for me. Did you guys all notice that I became a Steward at about the same time Mr. Scruffy became a Mod.

Well Scruffy has always been known as the forum enforcer. I sent a PM to Jim telling him I think I could take Scruffy. It was decided we would dual and if I won I could become a Steward and Scruffy would be demoted to MOD status. If I lost Scruffy could keep the glorious and highly coveted Steward job and I would loose all of my posts and have to start over asking noobie questions specifically designed to drive Luc crazy.

So Scruffy and I met on the battlefield in Lexington MO, on the same site where one of the first true battles of the civil war were fought. The trumpets sounded at dawn and we went at it hard. At this stage weapons were not allowed we pummeled each other relentlessly. Neither of could gain the upper hand. At sunset the trumpets sounded again and neither man could be declared victorious.

It was decided that night over beer and ribs that we would resume the next morning at sun up. This time we could bring weapons.:scared: Scruffy showed up with a Puma gloriously honed and polished to a razor sharpness. I drew my President all polished for the occasion. The trumpets sounded and the battle was on. Scruffy came at me with that Puma and I thought to myself my President does not stand a chance. But I had a plan B. :thumbup1:

I returned my President to its case and drew a Puck of Williams. I fired it Frisbee style at Scruffy it stuck to the blade of his Puma and that blade just disintegrated. I drew another puck and charged him. You should have seen the fear in his eye when he saw the 2nd puck of Williams.:scared: Once I pulled my Eagle and whipped up a lather with it he just dropped to his knees in terror. It was the site of Williams lather that did him in. He raised the white flag in surrender.

I stood victorious on the Battlefield I was going to become a Steward and Scruffy was going to be demoted to moderator....I was ecstatic. But wait Jim decided I cheated by bringing the Williams onto the Battlefield. He stood by my victory but used that :cursing: Moderator power to give me the custom title I am forever doomed to wear.

I can not speak for everyone else but that my friends is how I became a Steward.


Poor, poor deluded man.

Let this be a lesson to you kids, Just Say No to Williams!

Scott is really a good guy, but he's a good guy with a Williams monkey on his back. It started as a valiant endeavor, a true quest for knowledge using the scientific method. He was going to prove once and for all that it was possible to make a rich creamy lather with reformulated Williams soap.

We don't really know how it happened, or what happened for that matter. But soon after his experiments began he reported sighting a large hairy creature with big feet. Riding a Harley.

Then came the delusions that the Blackhawks would take home the Stanley Cup. All of this followed by an obscenely large sig line. By then it was too late. The Williams had been absorbed by his skin after countless hours and applications of test lathers causing irreversible brain damage.

Bestowing upon him the ersatz title of "Steward" was the only way to keep him from chasing the neighbor's cat and eating the spiders he found in the basement.

So please humor him, let him believe he is a valiant Williams warrior vanquishing all who oppose him with a flick of the wrist and a flying puck to the head. His experiments were conducted without regard for his own personal safety that we might someday shave with a $.79 soap. Alas, it is not to be.

Just say NO! to Williams, and Yes to Steward Scott.

Luv ya, ya bigfooted lummox!:wink2:

[brianw]

And....Now we do have the rest of the story !!!!!!!!

[beginish]

There's just something about pushing around the stewards that appeals to me.
Maybe my day will come. Maybe not.
I'm having fun for now! :laugh:

Say, can the stewards push me around?
Does that come with the contributors badge?
Maybe there should be a Platinum Level for those who are the stewards toadies....

EDIT: I mean no offense to any Stewards or toadies.
No one pushes the Stewards around. Haven't you noticed that they're composed of Bikers, Ninjas, Alchemists, Wizards and (in my case) Nerds?

[Legion]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEtKj6keoYU

[maxman]

I've come to regret pretty much everything I've said in this thread.
Maybe tomorrow I'll manage to get my foot out of my mouth.
Or.... cram the other one in.:blushing:

[The Knize]

<Uh, no, Robbie, that was your company Christmas party, remember?>

If fact, I do not rememeber my company Christmas party! Hope no one elsle does either!

[beginish]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEtKj6keoYU

The gym that the Stewards have at their disposal is more tricked out than the X-men's training room. :w00t:

[The Knize]

I've come to regret pretty much everything I've said in this thread.
Maybe tomorrow I'll manage to get my foot out of my mouth.
Or.... cram the other one in.:blushing:

Even if that were true, which it is surely is not, no one much notices and absolutely no one would remember.

Far as I am concerned, at least in my case, the Mods to the heavy lifting. I mostly just "chat" and and in my "personal time" try desperately and unsucessfully to keep up with the explosion of great and sometimes expensive scents that are talked about on the Frag forum these days.

I suppose I also give folks bad advice as to which scents they may like, and generally mislead folks as to what particular scents smell like. And that is on a good day. I suppose I occasionally pack up a frag train or frag library keep a list of those participating. Otherwise I am just getting by on a smile and a shoeshine!

Mock me if you will. I will probably not even notice I am being mocked, and will most likely just be happy you are participating on B&B!:001_smile:001_smile:001_smile:001_smile:001_smi le

[zander]

i haven;t seen this many Mods in one place except behind the "Razor Curtain" where we hide at....lurking at all of you !!!!:blink:

I'm proud to have started such a worthless yet popular thread :thumbup:
I feel like I deserve a prize....or perhaps a scolding. :blushing:

[azmark]

I was only chosen because I'm the designated driver and drive everyone around after our monthly keg stand competitions.


And that, my friends, is why the Veg is a controlled substance in 63 countries.

Nid, you have outdone yourself!
.....and banned in 51 states.


I picture the Mods are in a dimly lit Command Center that somewhat resembles a cross between an air traffic control tower, and Mission Control at Houston back in the Appollo mission glory days.
..............

That's pretty much spot on.

[gearchow]

This photo of the command center was just leaked:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/71/234788215_9bb42a5447.jpg


-jim

[maxman]

*yawning and stretching*
Ok, where did we leave off?
Did the OP get answered?

Well it appears that becoming a Mod or Steward is shrouded in mystery.
With this many people on the board and threads that lose their way (gee, kinda like this one) it's a job that i'm sure requires a stiff drink or alien technology or something to help it along.

The only way that we can put any kind of tone into these messages is with these little emoticons :001_smile. Even then, imagine having to sort through the petty squabbles that might arise when someone seems to be coming off the wrong way.

We can't laugh at others if we can't laugh at ourselves. I've been laughing at myself since high school. I ain't gonna stop any time soon.

I for one welcome our Mod Overlords (I do love Simpson's quotes).
How they come to be....well.... that's a wait and see type of thing.
Keep on keepin' on and you might just find out.

In any case, don't stop laughing and use the smiley guys. :thumbup1: (this guy is my favourite by far)

I might just love this place too much. *sniff* Excuse me... there's something in my eye.

[Luc]

That is close......but here is exactly what went down for me. Did you guys all notice that I became a Steward at about the same time Mr. Scruffy became a Mod.

Well Scruffy has always been known as the forum enforcer. I sent a PM to Jim telling him I think I could take Scruffy. It was decided we would dual and if I won I could become a Steward and Scruffy would be demoted to MOD status. If I lost Scruffy could keep the glorious and highly coveted Steward job and I would lose all of my posts and have to start over asking noobie questions specifically designed to drive Luc crazy.

So Scruffy and I met on the battlefield in Lexington MO, on the same site where one of the first true battles of the civil war were fought. The trumpets sounded at dawn and we went at it hard. At this stage weapons were not allowed we pummeled each other relentlessly. Neither of could gain the upper hand. At sunset the trumpets sounded again and neither man could be declared victorious.

It was decided that night over beer and ribs that we would resume the next morning at sun up. This time we could bring weapons.:scared: Scruffy showed up with a Puma gloriously honed and polished to a razor sharpness. I drew my President all polished for the occasion. The trumpets sounded and the battle was on. Scruffy came at me with that Puma and I thought to myself my President does not stand a chance. But I had a plan B. :thumbup1:

I returned my President to its case and drew a Puck of Williams. I fired it Frisbee style at Scruffy it stuck to the blade of his Puma and that blade just disintegrated. I drew another puck and charged him. You should have seen the fear in his eye when he saw the 2nd puck of Williams.:scared: Once I pulled my Eagle and whipped up a lather with it he just dropped to his knees in terror. It was the site of Williams lather that did him in. He raised the white flag in surrender.

I stood victorious on the Battlefield I was going to become a Steward and Scruffy was going to be demoted to moderator....I was ecstatic. But wait Jim decided I cheated by bringing the Williams onto the Battlefield. He stood by my victory but used that :cursing: Moderator power to give me the custom title I am forever doomed to wear.

I can not speak for everyone else but that my friends is how I became a Steward.

:lol::lol::lol:

[Balcmeg]

.....Well it appears that becoming a Mod or Steward is shrouded in mystery.
With this many people on the board and threads that lose their way (gee, kinda like this one) it's a job that i'm sure requires a stiff drink or alien technology or something to help it along.
.....

How about a stiff alien drink? :a26:

[captp]

How about a stiff alien drink? :a26:

One Pangalactic Gargleblaster coming right up.

[BigFoot]

No one pushes the Stewards around. Haven't you noticed that they're composed of Bikers, Ninjas, Alchemists, Wizards and (in my case) Nerds?

That is why you are now a Mod Bob. Nerdism is not allowed at Steward headquarters.:laugh: Damn guys we are going to have to relocate again.

[ouch]

One Pangalactic Gargleblaster coming right up.

I'm out of the ingredients, but I do happen to have a gold brick and a slice of lemon.

[oc_in_fw]

I'm out of the ingredients, but I do happen to have a gold brick and a slice of lemon.

but do you know where your towel is?:001_smile

[beginish]

That is why you are now a Mod Bob. Nerdism is not allowed at Steward headquarters.:laugh: Damn guys we are going to have to relocate again.

:lol:

[Balcmeg]

One Pangalactic Gargleblaster coming right up.

I was aiming for that reply ;)

I don´t remember the Pangalactic Gargleblaster mentioned as a reason for bringing the towel though - but it seems likely.

[Balcmeg]

but do you know where your towel is?:001_smile

Dissolved in the drink?

[captp]

I was aiming for that reply ;)

I don´t remember the Pangalactic Gargleblaster mentioned as a reason for bringing the towel though - but it seems likely.

The towel won't help much after a Gargleblaster, but you should always remember it anyway. It could help get you out of whatever jam you will inevitably get into after drinking one.

[Cerealx59]

African or European swallow?

Dang it! You beat me to it!:lol::lol::lol:

[OldSaw]

I had to send fruit baskets...

I didn't get mine. Was it from Harry & David (http://www.harryanddavid.com/gifts/store/home___)?

[honed]

Did you know that George Orwell got the idea for "room 101" while cleaning out Nicks garage?

[Seraphim]

So basically being a moderator is like being a member of the British royal family. Nobody is sure what exactly they do, or how they got to be in such a position of power, but since it is steeped on Tradition, we all pay them their due respect.

[Telecaster52]

So basically being a moderator is like being a member of the British royal family. Nobody is sure what exactly they do, or how they got to be in such a position of power, but since it is steeped on Tradition, we all pay them their due respect.

and then the princess scrapes the pudding off the prince's arms symbolizing their union, As is tradition

:a44:

[Topgumby]

So basically being a moderator is like being a member of the British royal family. Nobody is sure what exactly they do, or how they got to be in such a position of power, but since it is steeped on Tradition, we all pay them their due respect.

So, who's Charles?

[Duggo]

Hats off to the Mods/Stewards

I for one want to say thank you for all you do keeping B&B running so smoothly. When it looks easy, you know it isn't.

A question

With that said, I have a question I've been wanting to ask for a long time. This seems to be the perfect thread.

Does your status (Mods and Stewards) give you influence when making dinner reservations or airline reservations?

Are there Blackout periods for you guys?

Come on now, Tell the truth and shame the :devil:

[Telecaster52]

So, who's Charles?


*raises hand*

[brianw]

A question
Does your status (Mods and Stewards) give you influence when making dinner reservations or airline reservations?

Are there Blackout periods for you guys?


Actually yes... I once mentioned I was A Mod at B&B and they cancelled both my airline ticket and a dinner reservation....they "banned" me from both the airline and the restaurant.... So I usually now go fully incognito.

I'm sure all of us have Blackout periods.....you know....too many to the head.

[OldSaw]

Actually yes... I once mentioned I was A Mod at B&B and they cancelled both my airline ticket and a dinner reservation....they "banned" me from both the airline and the restaurant.... So I usually now go fully incognito.

I'm sure all of us have Blackout periods.....you know....too many to the head.

I remember that. If it makes you feel any better, I think it was just you. I saw all the other moderators get upgrades to first class on the airline and were ushered into the private dining room at the restaurant. :lol:

[dpm802]

Does your status (Mods and Stewards) give you influence when making dinner reservations or airline reservations?

I can't speak for B&B, but I am a SuperMod (almost an Admin) on another forum ... when I show them my credentials, I'm entitled to a Grande coffee at any Starbucks in my local area for only $2.09.




Are there Blackout periods for you guys? I'm hoping to have a Blackout period tonight ... My good friend Johnnie Walker will be helping me to achieve it.

[maxman]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I recall hearing that part of the initiation was to have lunch with Springs1 then accompany Stan-the-Man to the DMV to have is name changed.

[brianw]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I recall hearing that part of the initiation was to have lunch with Springs1 then accompany Stan-the-Man to the DMV to have is name changed.


You do have the routine down pretty well....C Reed will tell you the rest.........tomorrow

[gearchow]

Actually yes... I once mentioned I was A Mod at B&B and they cancelled both my airline ticket and a dinner reservation....they "banned" me from both the airline and the restaurant.... So I usually now go fully incognito.

I'm sure all of us have Blackout periods.....you know....too many to the head.

B&B Stewards get head of line privileges to the bin in back of all McDonald's - across the world. The Blackout period occurs a little later after imbibing Thunderbird with our fellow diners.

For travel considerations, we generally get police escorts out of town.

-jim

[SiBurning]

B&B Stewards get head of line privileges to the bin in back of all McDonald's

I only go for the Premium Roast Coffee rated higher than Starbucks (http://www.foodfacts.info/blog/2007/02/mcdonalds-coffee-ranks-high.html).

[Legion]

For travel considerations, we generally get police escorts out of town.

-jim

But then we turn around and walk right back.

Just like John Rambo in First Blood.

[BigFoot]

But then we turn around and walk right back.

Just like John Rambo in First Blood.

The Mods drew First Blood not us.

[brianw]

Easy there Scott....here have some of these nice spiders I found in Bigfoot's room.....

[OldSaw]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I recall hearing that part of the initiation was to have lunch with Springs1 then accompany Stan-the-Man to the DMV to have is name changed.

Is that before or after cleaning Nick's garage?

[beginish]

Is that before or after cleaning Nick's garage?
Before, of course! If we had to clean Nick's garage first, we'd never make it to lunch, and you know how much Springs1 likes to wait. :lol:

[Duggo]

How they can't get all weak at the knees from seeing the credentials (the privileged few who get to see the credentials) of the B&B team, I'll never understand. :confused1 :laugh:

[joel]

I fixed your post. Note, in my modesty I added myself to the bottom of the list

PS I do windows and vacuum car carpeting :biggrin1:

Sometimes, it even helps to know who the owners are (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=183473) :lol:

[joel]

TNH,

You write like an angel, and your imagination dwarfs my own--this even though "if my thought dreams could be seen, they'd put my head in a guillotine."

Thanks pretty much the way it happened for me, too. Except you left out the being placed nude in a coffin for hours, and the secret hot iron brand and tatoos! And the blood-letting and sacrifice of various animals. And consumption of various mushrooms and other dream powders from the most isolated places in South America for the "dream quest" part of the initiation!

Public service announcement: no animals were actually harmed in the implementation of his hazing. That was the mushrooms talking...

[rajun50]

Sometimes, it even helps to know who the owners are (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=183473) :lol:

I was wondering how he got such a title. That's one funny background story! So... what ever happened to that Boker??

[joel]

I was wondering how he got such a title. That's one funny background story! So... what ever happened to that Boker??

Sitting in my display case... No one wanted it.

[The Knize]

Public service announcement: no animals were actually harmed in the implementation of his hazing. That was the mushrooms talking...

That's right! I guess all of the animals were painted primitive style on the walls of that deep cave. The one with the red handprints. Seems this B&B initiation ritual stuff goes back a quite a ways!



Sometimes, it even helps to know who the owners are (http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php?t=183473) :lol:

This thread is getting long, so I hope this quip is not a repeat, but as I think of him (Joel) HWMBO! :001_smile

[Joel has been nothing but utterly supportive, of course!]

[rajun50]

Sitting in my display case... No one wanted it.

That's a shame. It's a very nice looking razor. I would offer to take it off your hands, but I have a vintage Boker and I've recently had my eye on a Theirs-Issard Evide Sonnant or Le Grelot... I can't decide. :confused1

On a more on-topic note, I'm glad this crazy thread got started. I had no idea what a Steward was, and hadn't taken the time to look it up. Now I know. Well, sort of. :tongue_sm

[oc_in_fw]

I was aiming for that reply ;)

I don´t remember the Pangalactic Gargleblaster mentioned as a reason for bringing the towel though - but it seems likely.

You never know when you might encounter a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal- a towel comes in right handy then.

[mark the shoeshine boy]

Who ever sent me this young lady over is definately on the next list to be a mod !!!

http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/386988-girls_kind_man_prefer_two.jpg

[Doc4]

I only go for the Premium Roast Coffee rated higher than Starbucks (http://www.foodfacts.info/blog/2007/02/mcdonalds-coffee-ranks-high.html).

aka "Our crap is slightly less repulsive than their crap".


:001_rolle

[Doctor Love]

I'm sure that engaging in druidic sacrifices can only be a step in the proper direction... :001_cool:

[Go West Young Man]

..... that one day I woke up in the bathtub full of ice in a Bangkok hotel room, I was kind of hoping just to have lost my kidneys to organ traders. When I realized they had made me a Steward instead, I pretty much lost it.....

[professorchaos]

It begins and ends with doughnuts. Lots of doughnuts.

[HoosierTrooper]

It begins and ends with doughnuts. Lots of doughnuts.

Where?????????? Where???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Count of Merkur Cristo]

So....out right bribery and/or extortion is out of the question...right? :jump:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeldwfOwuL8

Christopher http://www.thedieselgarage.com/forums/images/smilies/mafia1.gif

[professorchaos]

All I am allowed to say is doughnuts are a crucial component. :001_tt2:

[mark the shoeshine boy]

All I am allowed to say is doughnuts are a crucial component. :001_tt2:

and I am watching you.....:001_tt1:

[beginish]

All I am allowed to say is doughnuts are a crucial component. :001_tt2:

Can I get you another beignet, Henry?


and I am watching you.....:001_tt1:

Another cruller, Mark?

[csmorris]

Okay, I admit it. I too am willing to offer a bribe.




Oh... wait a minute... to clarify, the bribe is to NOT make me a mod :wink2:

I do not envy the Mod/Steward team but deeply appreciate all they do. Better you than me :blush:

[mark the shoeshine boy]

Can I get you another beignet, Henry?



Another cruller, Mark?


see how this works guys :thumbup1:

[oc_in_fw]

see how this works guys :thumbup1:

At least he didn't give you that line that was given to Joe Pesci in Goodfellas- "Now go home and get your shine box"- we all know how that ended:lol:

[ouch]

..... that one day I woke up in the bathtub full of ice in a Bangkok hotel room, I was kind of hoping just to have lost my kidneys to organ traders. When I realized they had made me a Steward instead, I pretty much lost it.....

That's actually a rather common scenario here.


At least he didn't give you that line that was given to Joe Pesci in Goodfellas- "Now go home and get your shine box"- we all know how that ended:lol:

It does, however, account for a few mod vacancies.

[maxman]

..... that one day I woke up in the bathtub full of ice in a Bangkok hotel room, I was kind of hoping just to have lost my kidneys to organ traders. When I realized they had made me a Steward instead, I pretty much lost it.....

Oh, I see now, they left your kidneys and took your freedom instead.
You shoulda brought donuts.
But who likes what kind of donut?
Could the wrong one bring you pain and misery?
This demands further investi....ggdhhhfs..g.s.dhhhdhhd........*silence*

[captp]

But who likes what kind of donut?


Donuts? Everyone likes chocolate cake donuts; no one but me ever brings them and they're always the first to disappear. One of the great mysteries of the universe.

[stobes21]

So....out right bribery and/or extortion is out of the question...right? :jump:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeldwfOwuL8

Christopher http://www.thedieselgarage.com/forums/images/smilies/mafia1.gif

I think extortion and bribery are all that keeps some of the folks here from having to be mods or stewards!:lol:

Well, that and mumbling everything they say a la Brando.

[professorchaos]

and I am watching you.....:001_tt1:

:001_rolle Moi?


Can I get you another beignet, Henry?



Another cruller, Mark?

Mmmmm beignets http://www.woodworkforums.com/attachments/f98/138000d1275094828-dean-razorback-v-255-build-drool.gif

[maxman]

I see what you mods have done there. :001_tt2:
I suppose I get to be the table that holds the box(es) of donuts? :lol:

[oc_in_fw]

It does, however, account for a few mod vacancies.

There are some lines not to be crossed:lol:

[beginish]

I see what you mods have done there. :001_tt2:
I suppose I get to be the table that holds the box(es) of donuts? :lol:
Well, 4 mods are playing pinochle at one of the tables now, and I do need to sit this dozen from Tim Horton's somewhere, so if you're offering......

[BigFoot]

Poor, poor deluded man.

Let this be a lesson to you kids, Just Say No to Williams!

Scott is really a good guy, but he's a good guy with a Williams monkey on his back. It started as a valiant endeavor, a true quest for knowledge using the scientific method. He was going to prove once and for all that it was possible to make a rich creamy lather with reformulated Williams soap.

We don't really know how it happened, or what happened for that matter. But soon after his experiments began he reported sighting a large hairy creature with big feet. Riding a Harley.

Then came the delusions that the Blackhawks would take home the Stanley Cup. All of this followed by an obscenely large sig line. By then it was too late. The Williams had been absorbed by his skin after countless hours and applications of test lathers causing irreversible brain damage.

Bestowing upon him the ersatz title of "Steward" was the only way to keep him from chasing the neighbor's cat and eating the spiders he found in the basement.

So please humor him, let him believe he is a valiant Williams warrior vanquishing all who oppose him with a flick of the wrist and a flying puck to the head. His experiments were conducted without regard for his own personal safety that we might someday shave with a $.79 soap. Alas, it is not to be.

Just say NO! to Williams, and Yes to Steward Scott.

Luv ya, ya bigfooted lummox!:wink2:

Harry....

I thought it was time to come back and update this post. Ever since returning home from my weekend in NYC Spiders no longer appeal to me. I really think it was the night I spent in Brian's basement chasing and eating Rats. They are much more filling.

Now do I still have dillusions of a hairy beast with big feet riding a Harley????? Of course not, they are not dilusions it is the truth. I think that hairy beast can be found in a far North Suburb of Chicago.

[luvmysuper]

Hey, I resemble that remark!!

[BigFoot]

Hey, I resemble that remark!!

:scared::scared:

[Mr. Scruffy]

Harry....

I thought it was time to come back and update this post. Ever since returning home from my weekend in NYC Spiders no longer appeal to me. I really think it was the night I spent in Brian's basement chasing and eating Rats. They are much more filling.

Now do I still have dillusions of a hairy beast with big feet riding a Harley????? Of course not, they are not dilusions it is the truth. I think that hairy beast can be found in a far North Suburb of Chicago.

You met my sister in law?

[oc_in_fw]

You met my sister in law?

I heard an ad for a garage door company that asked "what is the largest moving object in you house?". "Mother-in-law" was the wrong answer.

[beginish]

You met my sister in law?

That's going to leave a mark.

[brianw]

With all the new Stewards this thread needs to be bumped

[Legion]

Stews breed like gremlins. You take one steward, sprinkle The Veg on him, and another steward pops out of his skin.

[brianw]

Stews breed like gremlins. You take one steward, sprinkle The Veg on him, and another steward pops out of his skin.
Did they tie you down to do this or did you willingly accept that sprinkle of the veg :scared:

[BigFoot]

Did they tie you down to do this or did you willingly accept that sprinkle of the veg :scared:

If I have to be sprinkled with VEG my resignation is forth coming. :scared:

[Legion]

Did they tie you down to do this or did you willingly accept that sprinkle of the veg :scared:

They told me that they'd feed me after midnight if I agreed...

[Mr. Scruffy]

Did they tie you down to do this or did you willingly accept that sprinkle of the veg :scared:


Mods carry squirt guns filled with the Veg. Like mob hitmen, we sneak up on the unsuspecting candidate and let him have it at close range.

[ackvil]

Mods carry squirt guns filled with the Veg. Like mob hitmen, we sneak up on the unsuspecting candidate and let him have it at close range.

Thanks Harry. I still can't the odor off. And that scent is NOT fantastic. :scared:

[jakespoppy]

Mods carry squirt guns filled with the Veg. Like mob hitmen, we sneak up on the unsuspecting candidate and let him have it at close range.

That's why I ran and hid in the fragrance forum. It's a "Veg-free Zone".

[acutao]

I've read about five of the nine pages of this, and not yet seen a serious answer to the OP's original question. Is there one?

I am impressed, however, with the variety of actions a smiley face can perform in a single thread!

[nEver-Ready]

That's why I ran and hid in the fragrance forum. It's a "Veg-free Zone".

No it's not! I love the Veg and spend at least half my B&B time in the Frag forum.

[dpmtherrien]

So, after going through all the above, I guess we'll never know? :confused1 :crying: :001_unsur :scared: :001_tt2:

[luvmysuper]

To become a Steward or a Mod is a two step process.
1. Names are nominated to the standing team as someone who upholds, supports and promotes the ideals of B&B; Gentlemanly behavior, helpfulness, good humor, sincerety.
2. People from that list who come up with the bribe money are in.

[csmorris]

to become a steward or a mod is a two step process.
1. Names are nominated to the standing team as someone who upholds, supports and promotes the ideals of b&b; gentlemanly behavior, helpfulness, good humor, sincerety.
2. People from that list who come up with the bribe money are excused.
ftfy

[Go West Young Man]

The initial buy-in was rough, but the monthly dues are killing me.

And you do NOT want to fall behind with this crew!

[brianw]

To escape those evil clutches involves lot's of bribe money,..threats...underhanded dealings..... but the most important thing









pictures.

[tehtimmeh]

I don't remember much. I remember masks, black robes, obsidian knives, and some weird symbols. It's all pretty much a blur at this point.

[HoosierTrooper]

I've read about five of the nine pages of this, and not yet seen a serious answer to the OP's original question. Is there one?


There is, but they're unwilling to tell us mere mortals.

[jakespoppy]

There is, but they're unwilling to tell us mere mortals.

Well, you can lead a horse to water, but if you teach him how to fish, uh, you'll have a horse that brings home seafood for dinner!

[Earcutter]

I picture the Mods are in a dimly lit Command Center that somewhat resembles a cross between an air traffic control tower, and Mission Control at Houston back in the Appollo mission glory days.

There is always a hum of constant moderating going on, Spam being deleted, BST corraling, etc....Then, just when all seems to be going smoothly.....













That's right, what had started as a simple discussion about gardening or some such had somehow taken a turn for the worse.....

The Mods break out the fireproof suits, claxons sound, and the flash of red sirens cut through the control room like the rockets red glare from the Star Spangled Banner...



Like they do to arm a nuclear warhead, the Mods have to turn a set of two keys simultaneously on either end of the control room....tension is runing high....






Suddenly, the alarms go silent....you could hear a pin drop.....every Mod is holding his breath......






This is followed by alot of back slapping, drinks being poured, fine cigars being lit, and a sense of esprit de corp that is not often found outside of actual combat situations.....

That was hilarious - I seriously lol!

[California Cajun]

I've read about five of the nine pages of this, and not yet seen a serious answer to the OP's original question. Is there one?

I am impressed, however, with the variety of actions a smiley face can perform in a single thread!

I've had a snootful of moderation experience and it's tough. It's an honor to be appointed, which is what people generally want more than what comes with it. You have to figure out how to maintain the vibe that the majority of people want and make tough decisions if a member does things that make others want to stop coming. Sometimes you have to go with your gut, and sometimes you make honest mistakes. The message board that governs best governs least. Forums work best when the individual members do the enforcing because members are sensitive when a moderator has to discipline or expel a member who's here to have fun. You have to have a comfort level with the people you appoint. Too many cooks spoil the soup, which means too many moderators can't collectively decide on anything. It is so difficult to take away a moderator badge when you feel you have to.

Yeah, it can be a satisfying job, but it's stressful. It's like a second job without pay. I must admit I'm kind of burned out after about 10 years of moderating.

I think this may be the serious answer you're looking for. Having sat in the captain's chair, I think the moderator staff might want you to know this. It's not a reflection on a member's abilities or value if he isn't appointed to a moderator position.

[HoosierTrooper]

Well, you can lead a horse to water, but if you teach him how to fish, uh, you'll have a horse that brings home seafood for dinner!

I always thought it was you can lead a horse to water but drowning him's going to take awhile.

[stobes21]

I always thought it was you can lead a horse to water but drowning him's going to take awhile.

Well that depends on whether you try to change the horse mid stream.

[brianw]

I've had a snootful of moderation experience and it's tough. It's an honor to be appointed, which is what people generally want more than what comes with it. You have to figure out how to maintain the vibe that the majority of people want and make tough decisions if a member does things that make others want to stop coming. Sometimes you have to go with your gut, and sometimes you make honest mistakes. The message board that governs best governs least. Forums work best when the individual members do the enforcing because members are sensitive when a moderator has to discipline or expel a member who's here to have fun. You have to have a comfort level with the people you appoint. Too many cooks spoil the soup, which means too many moderators can't collectively decide on anything. It is so difficult to take away a moderator badge when you feel you have to.

Yeah, it can be a satisfying job, but it's stressful. It's like a second job without pay. I must admit I'm kind of burned out after about 10 years of moderating.

I think this may be the serious answer you're looking for. Having sat in the captain's chair, I think the moderator staff might want you to know this. It's not a reflection on a member's abilities or value if he isn't appointed to a moderator position.

Words to take to heart ,John....thanks for saying it !!!!

[Jim]

You can lead a horse to water, but no soap, radio.

The OP's question should read- "How do I avoid becoming a Mod or Steward?"

[Luc]

You can lead a horse to water, but no soap, radio.

The OP's question should read- "How do I avoid becoming a Mod or Steward?"

Agreeeeeed!!

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ6r169UrPEH2pW5VPps-g9wKQLRKRj8ETHghgVkkSu_-m0ynWa

[Malakas1981]

Can i apply for any of these ??

[Granaura]

Can i apply for any of these ??

:scared: I wonder if you read the entire thread before you asked?!! :lol: :lol:

[Legion]

The first rule of steward club is.... we don't talk about steward club.

The second rule of steward club is...






Bring doughnuts.

[fine wine]

I always thought it was you can lead a horse to water but drowning him's going to take awhile.
HT, your a good man, but............................................you are scarey, were on earth do you come up with this stuff?............JR

[Malakas1981]

I actually did I was trying to be funny .

[HoosierTrooper]

I don't know...

HT, your a good man, but............................................you are scarey, were on earth do you come up with this stuff?............JR

[alex2363]

this thread took a life of it's own....very funny:a29:

[oc_in_fw]

Well, you can lead a horse to water, but if you teach him how to fish, uh, you'll have a horse that brings home seafood for dinner!

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man how to fish and he will spend all day in a boat drinking beer.

[Obiwan]

the dewey decimal sytem

This is the best part of this whole thread. Any time you work the dewey decimal sytem into a post, it wins.