Worst ever pick-up lines

[icedoverfire]

Hi gents,

Self explanatory: What's the worst pick-up line you've ever heard?

I heard this one @ a party at school, and I kid you not it's so horrible the girl actually went home with the guy! and not out of pity either, but mostly because he had the cojones to use it!

"Hey babes, wanna come home and see my hard drive? I guarantee you it's longer than 3 and 1/2 inches and it definitely ain't floppy!" :ohmy:

[Alacrity59]

Better still . . . what was the cheesiest pick up line that actually worked?

[dpm802]

I don't know about the worst or cheesiest pickup lines, but Hugh Hefner has the BEST pickup line.

He just walks up to a beautiful woman, and says "Hi, I'm Hugh Hefner."

Works every time.

[Prince]

I don't know about the worst or cheesiest pickup lines, but Hugh Hefner has the BEST pickup line.

He just walks up to a beautiful woman, and says "Hi, I'm Hugh Hefner."

Works every time.

:lol:

[SmoovD]

"Don't turn around, don't make a sound and, yes, that is a gun in my pocket."

"Are you a fan of Bob Crane?"

"Have you seen my Valtrex?"

[arghblech]

I had an awful one that worked once.

A girl came off the dance floor at a club, stood next to me and said, "I'm hot" while fanning her face.

I said, "Well hot damn, darlin'. I'm bothered. What a pair we make" in my worst texas drawl. We had dinner the next evening :lol:

[Tiger]

A few years ago I was at a bar having a beer with a couple buddys when a woman came over to me and said that her friend wanted to dance with me. As I turned to look, the she explained that her friend's husband had died a few months ago and this was her first time out since.

Talk about a downer! On the other hand, how could one be so calloused to say no!

[thatguy1807]

Girl, you must be Jamaican, because jamaican me crazy!:blushing:

[jones2289]

Before saying anything, walk up to the girl, lick the tip of your finger, and wipe it on her shirt sleeve.

Before she has a chance to say a word, you say: "Let's go back to my place and get you out of those wet clothes".


Yes....I've seen it done.

[Telecaster52]

I was told that i would look hot with dreads...

[MoreSaltThanPepper]

Buddy and I were wingman'ing one night.

He says to her "wow, you remind me of my sister"

Absolute silence.

She looks at me with my hand over my eyes and I manage "don't mind him, he always says stupid stuff to beautiful women".

They managed at least two more dates.

ALWAYS have a wingman.

Regards,

- John

[Mejnoon]

"Call me Mr. Flintstone, 'cause I can make your bed rock"

[moodymick]

can i get you a rohypnol and coke?

[ouch]

My favorite is the Ronald Reagan pick up line:

Do I come here often?

Second place, courtesy of Zaphod Beeblebrox:

Hey! Is this guy boring you? Why don't you come talk to me instead? I'm from a different planet.

[mdunn]

My best one, shared reluctantly with my B&B bretheren.

it worked (once)!


oh my, those pants are very becoming on you.

but then, if I were wrapped around those thighs, i'd be coming too

[BrianL]

What's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

[dpm802]

"hey, baby ... want to go back to my place and watch me while I shave?"

[GFlanagan3]

"hey, baby ... want to go back to my place and watch me while I shave?"

wait that DIDN'T work??? :ohmy::ohmy:

[taprater]

I've seen a guy get the fire slapped out of him for using "If I was a squirrel and you were a tree, could I bust a nut in your hole."

He still had the hand print on his face the next morning after the party.

[Razorburne]

a few I've come across (though I promise I have never used):

1. Can I get your number 'cuz I forgot mine.

2. "Did it hurt?"...she most likely responds "did what hurt?"...."when you fell from heaven...did it hurt?"

3. Tripping on purpose in front of the woman in question...looking up and then saying, "oh, I'm sorry...........I fell for you" (yes, I've seen someone use this one and NO it did not work)

4. "Wanna go back to my place for a pizza and a f**k?" After the likely disgust/horrified reaction you follow it up with "what?.....you don't like pizza?"

[dpm802]

Believe it or not, among the various schools of Pick-Up Artistry, one of the first techniques they teach is "Crash and Burn" ... where the guru will advise his students to go out in the field and use the most horrible pick-up lines they can think of.

The whole object of this lesson is to overcome "Approach Anxiety," The fear of breaking the ice and actually speaking to a woman. The outcome of this exercise is that the student fully expects to be rejected, laughed at, and scorned.

It makes it much easier to speak to women the next time around (using better Approach techniques) once you get slapped in the face the first night.

Obviously, you want to use this "Crash and Burn" technique far away from your home turf. Take a ride to a city 100 miles away, where there is no chance you'll run into anyone that will know you.

Most important, have fun with it. Getting rejected isn't the end of the world, and if it helps to break down the gut-wrenching fear of meeting new people, then its well worth it.

[Duamuteffe]

In the dorm bathroom, minding my own business and applying moisturizer to my face, a guy stuck his head around the door and said, "I have some you can use. It'll only take a minute."

[petr]

true.

Hey Baby, with all that a$# why don't you gives some to me.

Sometimes it worked, not for me of course.

[thunderball]

Hey baby, what say we rearrange the alphabet and put 'U' and 'I' together?

Works every time. :001_rolle

[ouch]

So let's be honest...........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ys9h1lB1egk&feature=channel

[Obsessed]

"Are you a fan of Bob Crane?

We have a winner!

I always liked, "if I were toxic waste, would you be my Love Canal?"

[evil.monkey.in.my.closet]

How about "Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"

[Topgumby]

Worst one that ever worked for me...

"Do y'all know Lance Corporal Gumby...No? Well, would you like to meet him?"

Thank heaven I'm married....:001_rolle

[firstfloorfront]

Grab your coat, you've pulled.

[thirdeye]

"Hi I'm Ray, I'm from Mars, how do you like me so far"?

[KWyKJJ]

My friend tried this one a few years back. Needless to say it didn't work.

"You know, for a fat girl, you don't sweat much"

[DeanoG]

This one actually worked. Had a buddy as a wingman go up to a girl and tell her it was my birthday and asked if she would dance with me. We were both in like Flynn.

[BradtheImpaler]

I don't know about the worst or cheesiest pickup lines, but Hugh Hefner has the BEST pickup line.

He just walks up to a beautiful woman, and says "Hi, I'm Hugh Hefner."

Works every time.

I tried it - didn't work :sad:

[Topgumby]

"I'm on a horse"

[kimfella]

Hey, you must be twins (speaking to only one girl here), because no one woman could be so damn gorgeous!

[oscarbowman]

"Does this rag smell of Chloroform?"

_______________
Oscar.

[DonLafontaine]

My ex-girlfriend was walking in the Financial District of San Francisco and some guy came up to her and said: "Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only ten I see ..." (emphasis on the "I")

[flabajaba2213]

From John Leguizamo:

"Hey ladies, come on! Be Different! Say yes!"


And the nerdiest one that I have used:

"Set phasers to stunning."

(Yes, it was at a sci-fi convention.)

[agent005]

I actually had a friend score using this...well he used it several times (keep in mind his last name is brown) "Hey sweety, lets make like UPS and see what brown can do for you"

[HoratioCaine]

There's always this line (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1XOfHax6Q8).

[Stubblefield]

How about "Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"Said right after: I've been stalking you for months, finally we meet.

[Uncle Erik]

"The voices in my head told me to talk to you."

One technique that either works or fails horribly is to slip the bartender a few dollars and ask him to send a glass of water to someone you want to talk to. Women either take offense or find it hysterical. You have an instant "in" with anyone who sees the humor.

[Scott0079]

Did I sleep with your sister?