bullying/harrassment in the workplace

[gaseousclay]

any of you ever have to deal with this type of behaviour? I'm just wondering if there's legal recourse one can take in this situation. I won't go into details about where I work but I will say that the company and its owner have fostered an environment of consistent hostility and bullying by certain employees. There is no management to speak of and the boss seems to take sides regardless of your contribution and time served at the company. I'm feeling incredibly stressed out about it and don't know what to do. If I say something I risk being the office pariah, if I don't then the cycle will continue. Plus I know that as soon as I start pointing fingers there will be five pointing right back at me accusing me of something.

For example, a couple of years ago my wife (then co-worker) got a part-time job at my company. After she quit we then started dating, but even prior to that certain individuals at the company made derogatory remarks about her. I didn't take much stock in it at the time because we weren't dating then. We eventually got together but the negative comments continued. It got to the point where I had to listen to people make fun of her on a daily basis. Why didn't I do anything you ask? Mainly because we don't have management and I know my boss wouldn't have done anything about it. Also, I'm fiercely protective of my private life so I didn't want people knowing about us. I think my co-workers finally caught on to us dating thanks to office gossip and the negative comments stopped. I also stopped talking to the one person who was responsible for perpetrating the comments about her. Some would say that my lack of communication with the guy is a form of harrassment but I think he knows that I know he talked smack about her and knew any additional comments might land him a punch in the face.

Another example, I came into work today and like a lot of businesses that are struggling with the economy there just wasn't much work to do. My co-worker, who has the title of manager but isn't really a manager, proceeded to give me the cold shoulder. I tried chatting with him this morning and he was despondent. I even gave him some of my workload so he would have something to do and again, nothing but the silent treatment all day. For a guy that calls himself a manager he sure as hell doesn't act like one.

Anyway, i'm at the end of my rope here. If I could find another job I'd jump at it in a heartbeat, unfortunately, since the economy is still in the crapper I know this isn't possible. What i'm seeing is a lot of posturing, as if certain co-workers are trying to stake a claim on work. There's a false sense of entitlement among certain employees and it's really pushing me to the breaking point. What should I do?

[valmara1971]

There is no quick and easy answer to this situation I'm afraid. In the end I think it is a question of what do you value most your integrity or your job. I know in an ideal world you would just walk away but we all know it's not that easy. Talk it over with your wife and try to decide together what you're going to do about the situation. Best of luck to you fella.

[Biffo]

I thank my lucky stars my current employers are VERY anti harassment / bullying / racism etc etc etc, and my "line managers" are always ready and available to talk to anyone with any complaints.

This is after 10 years with another company where people were picked on, bullied, harassed and had mind games played on them on a daily basis, in the end I said enough is enough and walked out. My salary now is only two thirds of what it used to be but gods I am happy working here now and can look forwards to going into work.

[RBE17]

Do you have a company handbook? If you do, there might be guidelines in there concerning it. You might want to talk to a lawyer and see if you have any recourse. I think you're stuck at the moment. I'd just hang on until you can find something else and then tell them to jam it. One of the things I've seen in this economy is work places treating people poorly because they can.

[Mejnoon]

The one piece of advice I'll add is document EVERYTHING.

[valmara1971]

The one piece of advice I'll add is document EVERYTHING.

+1 on this. If you can get someone sympathetic to your cause to witness what goes on this will help if you ever get it to court.

[Bill Smith]

Five years ago I worked for a sales agency representing a variety of different products to big box retail. I reported to a district manager who was an organizational bully, I lasted one year and decided at the time in my mid thirties, it just was not worth it for potential mental and physical health issues down the road. So I quit, took a lower paying gig and went back to school (now graduated) for a new career.

If you are suffering the Monday morning dread Saturday night, it's time to draft up the resignation letter, economy be damned. Things won't stay crappy forever and your well being is more important.

[ShaveAddict]

I know what u talk about, couple of years ago i was solving my problem whit leaving the job.
But i learned it's not the good thing to do.
Talking can sometimes be helpfull.

[BruceK]

Is this a stand alone company or is it part of a larger one? Meaning, is there a central or "corporate" office that you can elevate this to? If so, then start there. If not, then you may want to speak to an employment attorney.

And has already been said, by all means document, document, document. And keep copies at home.

[mmack66]

Do you work at the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company?

[Chaucer498]

I fail to see where the bullying/harrasment come into play with the scenarios you described.

The first scenario they were talking about a former employee, which you were dating at the time, but no one really knew that but you. Cracking on a former employee is unprofessional, but it happens and it's not really harrassment. As soon as the "gossip" got around that you were possibly dating her they immediately stopped talking about her. I don't see any harm done here.

The second scenario a co-worker is giving you the cold shoulder. This isn't really bullying or harrassing. You don't really know what that guy goes home to or what he has on his mind. His kid could be sick, his wife giving him a hard time and just the bs life throws at a person. Maybe he's just not in the mood to talk? He should keep his personal life out of the work place for sure but again I fail to see where you feel you have been violated in any way?

Also unless you have ever actually attempted to say anything regarding these things that go on. You really have no leg to stand on. You're assuming that your boss will take sides. If he/she did takes side why would they not choose your side and opt to side with the others?

If you don't like the way the business is conducted there is only one answer for you my friend....start looking for a new job.

[AndrewWiggin]

I fail to see where the bullying/harrasment come into play with the scenarios you described.

The first scenario they were talking about a former employee, which you were dating at the time, but no one really knew that but you. Cracking on a former employee is unprofessional, but it happens and it's not really harrassment. As soon as the "gossip" got around that you were possibly dating her they immediately stopped talking about her. I don't see any harm done here.

The second scenario a co-worker is giving you the cold shoulder. This isn't really bullying or harrassing. You don't really know what that guy goes home to or what he has on his mind. His kid could be sick, his wife giving him a hard time and just the bs life throws at a person. Maybe he's just not in the mood to talk? He should keep his personal life out of the work place for sure but again I fail to see where you feel you have been violated in any way?

Also unless you have ever actually attempted to say anything regarding these things that go on. You really have no leg to stand on. You're assuming that your boss will take sides. If he/she did takes side why would they not choose your side and opt to side with the others?

If you don't like the way the business is conducted there is only one answer for you my friend....start looking for a new job.

+1. If there's no work to be done at your current employer you should probably be looking anyway, it doesn't sound like a company that has what it takes to survive a down economy.

Then again, if you really want your co-worker to buck up, get him a shaving kit and introduce him to the wonderful world of wetshaving.

[flatstick96]

Are there any managers within your company that you DO respect? Can you request to be transferred to another group/department where you could work under one of them?

About a decade ago I took a job in an industry that was new to me at the time; the district manager who hired me recognized pretty quickly that I was his top dog, and he started moving me around to various underperforming locations, cleaning up other peoples messes. Eventually we'd cleaned up the whole group and everything was humming; as is often the case, the company couldn't leave well enough alone, so they reassigned me to a different district (in the hopes that I'd have the same impact there). The DM to whom I was reassigned was a bully - and, frankly, an insecure asshole. Where my previous DM had recognized that if he just let me be I'd get him results, this guy relished busting my balls, making sure he "kept me in my place" - all he cared about was maintaining some juvenile pecking order, and results be damned. Adding to the annoyance was that he (a married man) was banging one of the female managers the group - the whole group was a shambles, and everyone except his mistress pretty much despised him. I worked under this guy for a few months, and the locations for which I was responsible were showing improvement, but the working situation was just brutal - so I decided to quit.

At just that time we had a regional meeting; while there I got to chatting with my old DM. I told him I'd had it with the guy I was working for and that I was going to have to take my act elsewhere. A couple of days later he called me up and said "I've made some calls, and I've worked out a trade; will you consider staying with the company if I can get you transferred back into my group?" I told him I would, and he made it happen. It got me out of my shitty situation, and it beat having to try and find a new job.

Just a thought...

[David in Boston]

The one piece of advice I'll add is document EVERYTHING.

Do it!

And if you can consult with a lawyer that deals with employment issues.

Also if you are having physical, mental, or emotional effects from this situation go see a doctor and document it.

I haven't been the victim of bullying in the workplace but I know of folks who have. It is amazing how a doctor or lawyer can put a bully(who are nothing but cowards) in their place.

Good Luck.

[mmack66]

Do it!

And if you can consult with a lawyer that deals with employment issues.

Also if you are having physical, mental, or emotional effects from this situation go see a doctor and document it.

I haven't been the victim of bullying in the workplace but I know of folks who have. It is amazing how a doctor or lawyer can put a bully(who are nothing but cowards) in their place.

Good Luck.

Unless there is something more substantial than the information that is presented in the OP, there is really nothing to document other than a poorly run business.

[Dewaine]

Here is what you do: If you have a computer with a DVD player, use it, or bring in a small DVD player. During your lunch break, put in MR. BEAN'S HOLIDAY, play it and laugh uproariously while you are watching it. After lunch, put it away and forget about it. If someone comments on you lunchtime antics, stare at their forehead as they speak to you, and then just go back to whatever you were working on.

It worked for me.

[gaseousclay]

I fail to see where the bullying/harrasment come into play with the scenarios you described.

The first scenario they were talking about a former employee, which you were dating at the time, but no one really knew that but you. Cracking on a former employee is unprofessional, but it happens and it's not really harrassment. As soon as the "gossip" got around that you were possibly dating her they immediately stopped talking about her. I don't see any harm done here.

my co-workers knew of my involvement with her even before the office gossip started, because I was the only one there who was friendly to her. the co-worker in question knew I liked her and purposely made malicious remarks about her in my presence knowing that it pissed me off. to me this is akin to someone calling your wife a whore. it doesn't matter if they knew we were dating or not, the fact that this type of behaviour went on is appalling to me.


The second scenario a co-worker is giving you the cold shoulder. This isn't really bullying or harrassing. You don't really know what that guy goes home to or what he has on his mind. His kid could be sick, his wife giving him a hard time and just the bs life throws at a person. Maybe he's just not in the mood to talk? He should keep his personal life out of the work place for sure but again I fail to see where you feel you have been violated in any way?

I knew he was giving ME the cold shoulder because he didn't seem to have any problems chatting with everybody else this morning. I was the only one he didn't talk to all day, despite my attempt at conversation with him earlier in the day. i'm not blind to workplace hostility but when it's aimed at me for no apparent reason then I take it personally. I don't feel like i'm in a position to talk to him about it because quite frankly, he's very immature for a guy in his 40's and I don't think he's capable of having a civil conversation about the matter.


Also unless you have ever actually attempted to say anything regarding these things that go on. You really have no leg to stand on. You're assuming that your boss will take sides. If he/she did takes side why would they not choose your side and opt to side with the others?

i've been with this company for roughly 14 yrs and the majority of those years didn't have a manager. i've seen a lot of good former coworkers quit or get fired because of the often scathing and unwarranted remarks of others. i've also seen one too many verbally abusive shouting matches occur between employees over the most petty things, hence the reason I keep my mouth shut. had my co-worker perhaps made an attempt to talk to me I would've turned the other cheek, but since my so-called manager doesn't have the social skills necessary to engage in adult discussion I don't bother. I'm not making an assumption about my boss taking sides - he's done it many times before and on a couple of occasions they were because of baseless accusations leveled at me.


If you don't like the way the business is conducted there is only one answer for you my friend....start looking for a new job.

i've already got a resume up on several jobs sites and i'm actively looking. one thing I won't do is voluntarily quit because then i'm ineligible for unemployment insurance.

[gaseousclay]

Are there any managers within your company that you DO respect? Can you request to be transferred to another group/department where you could work under one of them?

Just a thought...

as I stated, there are no real managers. there are a couple of people that have the title of 'manager' but have absolutely no authority, nor have they done anything managerial in my entire tenure at the company. when I first started the boss' brother was the acting manager, but he was quickly ousted from his position because my coworkers seem to have a problem with authority figures. I don't know how many times I've heard people threaten to quit if another manager was hired. so, I can't simply request to be put into another department because I know there are those who would feel like their toes are being stepped on.

[WhosYerBob]

At my last employer a much younger manager took it upon himself to drive all the older guys like myself out. And upper management thought so highly of the younger guy that they never asked themselves why his group had such high turnover.

The MO was the same in each case; bring them onto his team, tell them they didn't know squat; refuse to assist them with getting to know how he expected things to be done; talk trash about their work in front of the other staff; spread terrible rumors about them behind their backs, deliver horrible verbal abuse in front of the other staff during closed door meetings, etc.

This behavior would go on for a period of many months, then culminate in an explosive confrontation after which the oldster was accused of various trumped-up charges, then they would be fired on the spot and escorted out of the building without being allowed to collect their personal belongings. Everything would happen in roughly 5 to 10 minutes, then the oldster would be on the street.

I observed this harassment occur on several occasions - then it began to happen to me.

As I saw the MO play itself out - exactly like the previous occasions - I prepared for my departure. Any electronic data I needed for future employment went home (contact lists, email, etc. - nothing that was company confidential). All my personal belongings slowly went home in my bag. All of the actions against me were documented. I made sure that when everything came to it's culmination, I was ready to leave on my terms.

And arrive it did. Explosive confrontation. Trumped up charges. Screaming obscenities in front of the other staff. The whole nine yards. I didn't say a word, just turned on my heels, stopped by my cube for my coat, logged out of the computer and walked out. As soon as I got home, I sent a long email to our upper management saying that I quit and the reasons why, and put into motion a process that eventually got the guy removed as a manager.

It was the best decision I ever made. No, I didn't have another job lined up. And yes, it took awhile to find a replacement job. But now I earn more than I did at the old job, have better benefits and a much friendlier work environment.

[gaseousclay]

And arrive it did. Explosive confrontation. Trumped up charges. Screaming obscenities in front of the other staff. The whole nine yards. I didn't say a word, just turned on my heels, stopped by my cube for my coat, logged out of the computer and walked out. As soon as I got home, I sent a long email to our upper management saying that I quit and the reasons why, and put into motion a process that eventually got the guy removed as a manager.


wow, glad to hear it worked out for you. you and others here mention documenting everything....as in just write everything you've witnessed down? the problem with this is that there are always two sides to the story and whose is more credible. I could document things til i'm blue in the face and I feel like it wouldn't do any good. may I ask what 'process' you put into motion that got your former manager removed? i'm wondering if I should prepare myself for an eventual showdown or grin and bear it?

[WhosYerBob]

just write everything you've witnessed down? the problem with this is that there are always two sides to the story and whose is more credible. I could document things til i'm blue in the face and I feel like it wouldn't do any good. may I ask what 'process' you put into motion that got your former manager removed? i'm wondering if I should prepare myself for an eventual showdown or grin and bear it?
Documenting can include email exchanges; writing down your side of the story when it happens so nothing is left out, forgotten, distorted or overlooked; listing all of the witnesses who observed what went down on each occasion; etc.

The important thing is to establish a lengthy time-line of the harassment. It does no good to quit if there is nothing to substantiate your claims. And if you can get other witnesses to back your claim, then the hammer can really fall. This is the exact process I used.

I was actually requested to have a meeting with the three managers (my former boss, his boss and the top boss) the following work day, which I agreed to. In the hour-long meeting with the three I presented my documentation of my harassment, as well of the harassment I had observed being done to others and the names of other staff that could offer eye-witness accounts. My former boss tried every trick he could think of to twist the meeting focus from him back to me, but I stayed on message throughout. At the 40 minute mark he melted down, exposing the upper two managers to his real harassment behavior. From that point forward his days as a manager were doomed.

It took about 4 months for them to track down all the others that had been forced out of the company by the jerk, but at the end he was cut loose from the corporate parent and relegated to pushing paper without any staff in a subsidiary where he couldn't harm anyone.

[professorchaos]

I'd file a complaint with HR riki tik. If the company is too small or you don't want to go down that road, at a minimum you should document each incident - send your personal email account a message with the details.

[gaseousclay]

Documenting can include email exchanges; writing down your side of the story when it happens so nothing is left out, forgotten, distorted or overlooked; listing all of the witnesses who observed what went down on each occasion; etc.

The important thing is to establish a lengthy time-line of the harassment. It does no good to quit if there is nothing to substantiate your claims. And if you can get other witnesses to back your claim, then the hammer can really fall. This is the exact process I used.



noted. I should've done this back in 2000 when I noticed the "problems" manifesting themselves in one specific worker. pretty much everyone in the company has been witness to this guy's verbally abusive language, including the boss. it almost seems like people are afraid of this guy

[airplanedoc]

I would document everything.
Look for another job.
Check with state/local EEOC to find out what your local laws are. There is no federal law that covers this issue unless you are a protected group, and that is the reason for the harassemnt.

Right now from your description, I don't think you have a case for anything but piss poor "management". However that could change if the situation continues to deteoriate

[gaseousclay]

Right now from your description, I don't think you have a case for anything but piss poor "management". However that could change if the situation continues to deteoriate

sad but true. i've seen people get sacked at other jobs for less offenses but some of the people here seem untouchable, even if they are the dregs of society. there are people here that smoke weed in the workplace, have been verbally abusive, physically confrontational to the point of almost coming to blows. one guy has been caught repeatedly taking a nap at his desk, on top of being rude to customers on the phone.

[airplanedoc]

Since Minnesota is not a two party consent state, A tape recording can be a powerful thing as well.

[ScotchDave]

Why not start carrying an outdoors knife to work and call it a name. Then when anyone pisses you off, start talking to it?:tongue:

[RBE17]

If you are suffering the Monday morning dread Saturday night, it's time to draft up the resignation letter, economy be damned. Things won't stay crappy forever and your well being is more important.

I never experienced them on Saturday night, but definitely by the time Sunday afternoon rolled around, I had them. Many days I would drive to work contemplating if I could crash the car and hurt myself to miss work indefinitely, but not be injured for life. I knew I had to get out.

[mmack66]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79tMMFja-Fw

[raisindot]

While sympathizing with your situation, I wouldn't call any of your anecdotes "harrassment."

It's only harrassment if someone is actively and maliciously "bullying you" for non-work reasons. Since your wife was out of the company, anything they said about her would not be harrassing her, certainly. If they said it to your face, that might be harrassment, but the way to settle it would be simply to say, up front, to them that you were uncomfortable with their comments and to stop doing it. This might not stop it, but at least it would be reading the riot act in case you needed to bring it HR.

A co-worker snubbing is not harrassment, either. If they don't want to talk to you, fine. There's no rule in business that says that people who don't know each other or work with each other have to like other. At the very least, you need to act professionally when you're interacting on job-specific issues.

And, lastly, I find your comments about there not being management there a little hard to believe. You must have a supervisor of some kind, unless you report directly to the CEO. You have every right to bring LEGITIMATE complaints to your supervisor, but, again, you need to weigh the risk of doing so versus the potential resolution.

Unfortunately, even in real harrassment situations the complainant rarely comes out better. It usually just tags them as a rabble-rouser and puts them at the top of the layoff list. So, unless the kind of harrassment you think you're suffering has a good chance of getting you a generous settlement, I'd just bear it as best you can for now, and look for another job.

Jeff in Boston

[Chaucer498]

my co-workers knew of my involvement with her even before the office gossip started, because I was the only one there who was friendly to her. the co-worker in question knew I liked her and purposely made malicious remarks about her in my presence knowing that it pissed me off. to me this is akin to someone calling your wife a whore. it doesn't matter if they knew we were dating or not, the fact that this type of behaviour went on is appalling to me.



I knew he was giving ME the cold shoulder because he didn't seem to have any problems chatting with everybody else this morning. I was the only one he didn't talk to all day, despite my attempt at conversation with him earlier in the day. i'm not blind to workplace hostility but when it's aimed at me for no apparent reason then I take it personally. I don't feel like i'm in a position to talk to him about it because quite frankly, he's very immature for a guy in his 40's and I don't think he's capable of having a civil conversation about the matter.



i've been with this company for roughly 14 yrs and the majority of those years didn't have a manager. i've seen a lot of good former coworkers quit or get fired because of the often scathing and unwarranted remarks of others. i've also seen one too many verbally abusive shouting matches occur between employees over the most petty things, hence the reason I keep my mouth shut. had my co-worker perhaps made an attempt to talk to me I would've turned the other cheek, but since my so-called manager doesn't have the social skills necessary to engage in adult discussion I don't bother. I'm not making an assumption about my boss taking sides - he's done it many times before and on a couple of occasions they were because of baseless accusations leveled at me.



i've already got a resume up on several jobs sites and i'm actively looking. one thing I won't do is voluntarily quit because then i'm ineligible for unemployment insurance.

Ok, so there are some discrepencies in your response to that of your original post.

First, you claim you're a private person and that you keep you personal life seperate from your work life (understandable; I do too) and yet you say, "my co-workers knew of my involvement with her even before the office gossip started, because I was the only one there who was friendly to her". Being friendly with someone doesn't necessarily mean that your "involved" with them, so if they picked up on this you must have been behaving in a manner that was more than "friendly". I'm very friendly to women I work with, but I don't go home with them. Now there is nothing wrong with that. Some might see this as a bit unprofessional but it does happen; however, your private life isn't so private the minute you decided to get "friendly" with a co-worker. You just combined two worlds.

You said, "the co-worker in question knew I liked her and purposely made malicious remarks about her in my presence knowing that it pissed me off". Did you tell him that it pissed you off and he continued or did you once again assume that he knew it pissed you off?

Do realize that I'm in no way calling you a liar or trying to defend these A-holes. My purpose is to show you what happens when you bring charges up in a court of law. You better have some substantial evidence to prove that you are being harrassed and not just annoyed with your co-workers antics. Thus far, it seems you may have just about had enough with them, but they haven't actually bullied or harrassed you.

In the second scenario, even if the guy admits to giving you the cold shoulder. It doesn't really matter. That's not harrassment. He may just not like you and that isn't a violation of your rights.

Lastly, and the one thing that discredits all of your claims, "i've been with this company for roughly 14 yrs and the majority of those years didn't have a manager". Why did you stay so long in a place with little to NO management? It must not be all that bad if you have been there for 14 years!! Even if it's true, (I believe you) no one will believe you in a court of law without proof.

So far, the only thing you have proved to me is that you work with the biggest aholes on the planet, but they haven't violated any of your rights nor are they forcing you to stay in the company. You have the RIGHT to leave. The fact that you haven't and continue to subject yourself to that bs is mind boggling at best. I truly hope you get some call backs from real companies and find the company that better suits you.

[mmack66]

Seriously, what sort of a business is this and how does any work get done?

[lamina]

Seriously, what sort of a business is this and how does any work get done?

I would bet on some Telecom biz'...

[Thebigspendur]

The bottom line is if you are unhappy and can't resolve the situation you either put up with it or quit. If you have an emergency fund quit and ride the economy out if not your pretty much screwed.

[gaseousclay]

And, lastly, I find your comments about there not being management there a little hard to believe. You must have a supervisor of some kind, unless you report directly to the CEO. You have every right to bring LEGITIMATE complaints to your supervisor, but, again, you need to weigh the risk of doing so versus the potential resolution.



I assure you, we don't have any 'real' managers. as I stated before, when I first started the boss' brother was the manager, but he was ousted because nobody can seem to cope with an authority figure. My co-worker has the illigitimate title of manager but doesn't actually exercise any actual authority, nor does he care in the slightest about those around him. The boss himself seems to think we can manage ourselves but this simply isn't the case, hence my post.

[xriley]

Do it!

And if you can consult with a lawyer that deals with employment issues.

Also if you are having physical, mental, or emotional effects from this situation go see a doctor and document it.

I haven't been the victim of bullying in the workplace but I know of folks who have. It is amazing how a doctor or lawyer can put a bully(who are nothing but cowards) in their place.

Good Luck.

Really???? for someone giving someone the cold shoulder and someone's feelings getting hurt????

This is such a typical American response. Get a lawyer. Haven't lawyers caused enough problems already?

If you have a problem with someone or think that someone has a problem with you, talk to them in a plain, sensible, and level headed way.

Be a man about it.

[Chaucer498]

Really???? for someone giving someone the cold shoulder and someone's feelings getting hurt????

This is such a typical American response. Get a lawyer. Haven't lawyers caused enough problems already?

If you have a problem with someone or think that someone has a problem with you, talk to them in a plain, sensable, level headed way.

Be a man about it.

+1

This is exactly my point. The OP has yet to mention any situations where he verbalized these things to any of the said "bullies" the way a rational adult would do. His excuse is that he's too scared to be fired. If you were to man up and take charge of the situation you might find that people treat you with the respect you deserve. What's going to happen? You get fired and collect until you find a new job.

As of right now all of this harrassment business is really happening in your head because you have failed to make it known that you are bothered by it.

[The Nid Hog]

It's pretty hard for us to offer you advice. I'm sure that we all sympathize with you--nobody wants to go to work in a place where they're unhappy. On top of making a bundle of money, everybody wants to be appreciated and treated with respect. Unfortunately when something goes on for a long time, it's hard to change things around. The atmosphere is set and your role is defined.

If I were you, I'd follow some of the good advice you've gotten here about keeping records, etc. I'd also start looking for a new job--hopefully things are picking up in the economy. When you do get a chance to make a move, think about how you want to be seen in the new place. Think about what you have to do to be that kind of person. Also, think about why you didn't decide to be that person 13 1/2 years ago. I don't think that it's ever too late to change, but it's pretty darn hard to do it and make it stick.

I hope everything works out for you.

[JoshSD]

It doesn't sound like harassment to me. It just sounds like they don't like you. Find a way out.

[gaseousclay]

+1

This is exactly my point. The OP has yet to mention any situations where he verbalized these things to any of the said "bullies" the way a rational adult would do. His excuse is that he's too scared to be fired. If you were to man up and take charge of the situation you might find that people treat you with the respect you deserve. What's going to happen? You get fired and collect until you find a new job.

As of right now all of this harrassment business is really happening in your head because you have failed to make it known that you are bothered by it.

I don't recall saying I was 'too scared to be fired.' I said I kept my mouth shut because practically every argument i've witnessed among other workers has resulted in a shouting match. I find it incredibly difficult to take someone seriously when they're foaming at the mouth. although, my boss does seem to be afraid of the one's with the big mouths so you may have a point there.

[gaseousclay]

Really???? for someone giving someone the cold shoulder and someone's feelings getting hurt????

This is such a typical American response. Get a lawyer. Haven't lawyers caused enough problems already?

If you have a problem with someone or think that someone has a problem with you, talk to them in a plain, sensible, and level headed way.

Be a man about it.

my feelings weren't hurt nor would I even think to sue someone over something as petty as this because I know it has no merit. perhaps I shouldn't have used this particular example to illustrate my point about a hostile workplace. I just thought he was incredibly rude about the situation and could've approached me in a civil manner without resorting to the cold shoulder right off the bat.

[urr-lord]

sounds like a hostile work enviroment which is in the same vein as harassment.document all events and esp.any possible illegal behavior.if any actions are taken against you,a pile of documentation will weigh heavily in your favor.don't embellish. just record what is happening.

[BEAR DEN]

To the OP...this behavior is what I hope for at my work place...seriously...from what you described it honestly seems like no big deal....that's because hell is where I work...very difficult for me to hear about my families hard day at work...when that would equal my dream day.

[Chaucer498]

I don't recall saying I was 'too scared to be fired.' I said I kept my mouth shut because practically every argument i've witnessed among other workers has resulted in a shouting match. I find it incredibly difficult to take someone seriously when they're foaming at the mouth. although, my boss does seem to be afraid of the one's with the big mouths so you may have a point there.

If not scared of being fired then why don't you stand up for yourself? What do you have to lose besides your terrible job?

You have three choices as I see it...

1. You find a new job and leave quietly

2. You try to reason with these beasts and gain the respect you deserve

or

3. My personal favorite...You go into the "managers" office Ed Norton style in Fight Club. You make sure the doors are shut and the shades drawn. You lay your demands down and tell him you want double pay and some F'en respect. When he laughs in your face. You grab the closest object and smack yourself dead across the face with it. Just start beating the crap out of yourself. He wont even know what to do at this point and just stare. The second your done half way beating the snot out of yourself. You now give him an ultimatum. He meets your demands or...you tell everyone he beat the crap out of you and that your pressing charges. The rest of the people will believe you because....well, you're the quiet guy that for fourteen years has been verbally and emotionally abused so you couldn't possibly be making all this stuff up and you couldn't be crazy enough to beat the snot out of yourself. This would be my option I would take after 14 years of abuse. You can skip the part about starting a fight club at that point you start a wetshaving club.

Hope this helps.

If you need me to script this out for you in detail I can do it.

[gaseousclay]

If not scared of being fired then why don't you stand up for yourself? What do you have to lose besides your terrible job?

You have three choices as I see it...

1. You find a new job and leave quietly

2. You try to reason with these beasts and gain the respect you deserve

or

3. My personal favorite...You go into the "managers" office Ed Norton style in Fight Club. You make sure the doors are shut and the shades drawn. You lay your demands down and tell him you want double pay and some F'en respect. When he laughs in your face. You grab the closest object and smack yourself dead across the face with it. Just start beating the crap out of yourself. He wont even know what to do at this point and just stare. The second your done half way beating the snot out of yourself. You now give him an ultimatum. He meets your demands or...you tell everyone he beat the crap out of you and that your pressing charges. The rest of the people will believe you because....well, you're the quiet guy that for fourteen years has been verbally and emotionally abused so you couldn't possibly be making all this stuff up and you couldn't be crazy enough to beat the snot out of yourself. This would be my option I would take after 14 years of abuse. You can skip the part about starting a fight club at that point you start a wetshaving club.

Hope this helps.

If you need me to script this out for you in detail I can do it.

I like #3

[cfriend]

Just saw this at lifehacker, thought of this thread. While I haven't read either the article I am link or this thread, I am aware of both and perhaps maybe they will find each other interesting.

http://lifehacker.com/5392880/disrupt-a-workplace-bullys-aggressive-behavior

[tgarza]

If you don't like how someone is treating you, say something and stand up for yourself. So what if they start shouting or try to argue. Say your piece calmly and put an end to the nonsense.

[SRock]

Violence won't solve anything and if it is just words a lawyer isn't necessary.

You just need to talk to whatever management you have (regardless of how poor you feel they may be).


The one piece of advice I'll add is document EVERYTHING.

Best advice in this thread!

[rm71]

sounds like a hostile work enviroment which is in the same vein as harassment.document all events and esp.any possible illegal behavior.if any actions are taken against you,a pile of documentation will weigh heavily in your favor.don't embellish. just record what is happening.

+1

If you feel bullied/harrassed, is there an independent body that you can go to that deals with this?