Etiquette question -- elevators

[Buzz]

Okay, my guiding rule of gentlemanly behavior is that a gentleman should always open a door for a lady. If the door is automatic or it is just a doorway (no actual door to be opened), then the rule is "ladies first." Okay... clear enough so far.

However, I just started working a building where elevators are a necessity.

In the morning rush, I'm standing in the building lobby waiting on one of the six elevators to arrive in the lobby. When the doors open, I allow any ladies standing nearby to enter first. Each elevator only holds 6-8 people. At peak times, there is a constant stream of people arriving in the lobby. If I let all the waiting ladies go in front of me, then they will fill up the elevator. More are arriving as well, so waiting forever doesn't seem practical.

Question 1 - How long must I wait before just getting on, even if there are ladies waiting?


Okay... so I finally see an opening and jump on.

Since I'm last person on, I'm now standing closest to the door in the center of the elevator.

Question 2 - When arriving at my floor, do I exit the elevator first (making way for the ladies behind me) or try to awkwardly turn sideways, hold the door, and let the ladies squeeze past me?

[Xert]

2. Definitely exit the elevator first.

[htownmmm]

Exit-stage left. :wink:


Marty

[rtaylor61]

Actually, a gentleman enters the elevator before a lady...in case it should plummet to the ground floor!

Randy

[Sue]

Bill,
It's my opinion that you don't need to think of the elevator door as you would a regular door. Go ahead and get into the elevator with the others who are waiting. Same thing when getting off. I may be wrong here but I wouldn't think it was bad manners.

Upon leaving a building with a door, it's not unusual to have the door let go in my face by younger men. I'd be appalled if my nine year old grandson didn't hold the door for "anyone". Manners seem to be lost on some of the younger generation.
Sue

[zachster]

I agree with Sue -- elevators are a different beast entirely than doors. You run the risk of annoying everybody with the "oh no, sir, after YOU!" routine when another fellow decides to be gentlemanly as well. I let people on or off elevators before me, and step out when appropriate, but only within reason -- like if they were there before me, or I am clearly blocking their path. You have your business to go about, just like everyone else who is waiting to get on or off the elevator, and they all understand that.

[surfanimal]

My routine for elevators:

If there are no ladies, just get on and get off.

If there are ladies present, let ladies in until I'm the last person on the elevator (since the VAST majority of men around here don't have manners at all anymore) I'll be the first to get out, and hold the elevator door for everyone to get out/next batch of people to enter.

[doctorsimon]

You are a true gentleman, sir.

How do you be gentlemanly and still get to work?

1. I always put my arm across the door to prevent it closing on others. Then make my way in as passenger number 6.
2. Likewise, I leave the elevator to let people behind me out, putting my hand across the door before entering again to complete my journey.
3. I do not make any further gestures on my way out. Others can follow my good example. (They generally don't though.)

[MJB]

My tendency is if there is a time and space crunch--wait in line like all others and then first come first serve, when its your turn on you go. It there are a few waiting and plenty of room, its just seems natural for me to allow the women in first--no big chivalry thing really, I guess that I have just been trained to do it that way.

[puros_bran]

Dont get me wrong I'll hold the door for anyone. The Mrs accuses me of wanting to be a doorman :smile: , but elevators dont count in my book. Its first in line,first on. Last on first off. Just my .02

[ouch]

The answers to both questions are the same- it depends on how they look.



Yeah. go on. Tell me otherwise. :lol:

[moses]

Alright. Here's the real answers.

First, proper elevator etiquette is that a gentleman lets a lady into the elevator first, as it is an automatic door. EXCEPT if there is no one in the car already, in which case the man enters first (presumably to make sure it is safe). This second part of the rule is especially outdated, although correct, and odds are that almost no woman is going to recognize your courtesy by entering before her. So I would ignore that rule, correct though it may be, unless you are just looking for a way to feel better about getting in first (but see below).

In a business setting, the above rule of etiquette does not generally apply. You can follow it if you wish, but neither etiquette nor civilized behavior requires it. In the business world, you are among equals, remember? Just follow basic courtesy (don't push in front of people, try to hold the door for people rushing to catch it, etc.).

As for question 2, I would suggest the greatest courtesy is by simply clearing the area, to avoid . Turning to hold the door is not a bad option to allow one or more persons (men or women) who you are with or in conversation with to exit.

-Mo

[Larry C in Texas]

Here's my main rule of elevator etiquette:

If you have to "float an air biscuit", as soon as the odor becomes noticeable, find the oldest person on the elevator and give them a hard look and an audible "sigh" as you roll your eyes. Then, vacate the elevator at the first possible moment after the door opens, only pausing to let the old lady with the walker out.

This has worked for nearly 50 years for me.:thumbup1:

[ouch]

Here's my main rule of elevator etiquette:

If you have to "float an air biscuit", as soon as the odor becomes noticeable, find the oldest person on the elevator and give them a hard look and an audible "sigh" as you roll your eyes. Then, vacate the elevator at the first possible moment after the door opens, only pausing to let the old lady with the walker out.

This has worked for nearly 50 years for me.:thumbup1:

That may not be the best tip I've read on this site, but it's in the top ten.:thumbup1:

[Sue]

Oh Lord.....:eek:
If I'm in an elevator, I guess you could blame it on my dog and not pick on an innocent elder.
Sue

[Larry C in Texas]

Oh Lord.....:eek:
If I'm in an elevator, I guess you could blame it on my dog and not pick on an innocent elder.
Sue

OK, Sue. If I happen to be in an elevator with you and your dog, I promise I will blame it on your poor defenseless dog and not pick on an "old". :biggrin:

[Tony Miller]

I once remember being told "you don't have to hold the door because I am a woman" to which I replied " I didn't, I held it because I am a gentleman"

If first to a door I hold it for anyone, my assistant, a woman, holds it for me or anyone male or female if she gets there first


Tony

[Gatorade]

In that situation I would take the stairs. :cool:

Makes my legs look better as well.

[vespergo]

yeah, just get in the elevator... no pushing though.

[moses]

In that situation I would take the stairs. :cool:

Makes my legs look better as well.

I don't know about him, but I work on the 42nd floor. :)

Actually, I would strongly consider your advice anyway. I grew up in the mountains. Living in a city, where everthing is flat, is annoying. I go home and go hiking, and die. Even though I walk five miles a day, and try to run as well.

But, unfortunately, the doors cannot be opened from inside the stairwell, for security reasons. Bah.

-Mo

[Gatorade]

But, unfortunately, the doors cannot be opened from inside the stairwell, for security reasons. Bah.

-Mo

That sucks! So you can't even go to the 32nd floor and get 10 flights of exercise can you?

I can see it now. You call for security to open the door on the 25th floor. They ask why. You say because I just climbed this far up and can't make it 17 more floors!

[Edcculus]

I use the same rules on elevators that I use on the subway. Every person for themselves. When there is a lot of people involved, I find it more polite to everyone to just get out of the way rather than trying to be a gentelman. Doing so can create jams and ackwardness.

I will usually let ladies sit on the subway, unless I am coming back during "rush hour" when you are often on for at least an hour or more.

[moses]

I will usually let ladies sit on the subway, unless I am coming back during "rush hour" when you are often on for at least an hour or more.

I am always a little uncertain about that one. while I hold doors, etc., I always feel it is vaguely insulting to offer my seat on the subway to a woman. Not sure why, exactly. I do try to offer it to anyone of either gender who might for any reason have extra difficult standing (injured, elderly, disabled, pregnant come to mind). My doing so is really not gender biased, as a rule. (Pregnant does not count - I promise if I ever see a pregnant man, I will also offer him a seat). I hope I am not being rude. Honestly, the number of times I ever have a seat on the Subway when there are more than a couple of standers is mighty slim. Btw, I do NOT want to get my etiquette from the masses, but in one year riding the subway, I have seen many seats offered to the above, but not a single one offered to a woman who was young, healthy, and not pregnant.

-Mo

[Edcculus]

Yea, I agree Moses. I dont ever give up my seat, unless its to someone who could really use it, like you described. I will remain standing though if there are a ton of people on. It really depends on the situation.

[_JP_]

In crowded situations such etiquette can backfire and cause delays that irritate everybody involved. The best bet is to simply take your turn.

The real problem I encounter with elevators is when I'm trying to get out. The doors open and people waiting to get on try to enter an already full space before anybody exits. Things can get kinda pushy then.

[rtaylor61]

A gentleman offers his seat to a lady, regardless of her condition. This is an interesting thread. Maybe we need to start a new thread on manners.

Randy

[moses]

A gentleman offers his seat to a lady, regardless of her condition.

People always say that.... And I want to agree. But I have a nagging problem with it. No, it's not that I care about my seat. :tongue: It's just.... Why? I sort of hate rules without a reason. Simply tradition is the justification? But then the tradition is tied to so many negative stereotypes....

But really, that is perhaps for another thread, as this one is about the specialized category of elevator etiquette.

Speaking of which....



This is an interesting thread. Maybe we need to start a new thread on manners.


It has been a little while. And I don't remember where the one a month or two was anyway. Might have been SMF. I have to admit I get confused sometimes. :001_rolle

So maybe it would be not a bad idea, to discuss points like the above.

-Mo

[rtaylor61]

People always say that.... And I want to agree. But I have a nagging problem with it. No, it's not that I care about my seat. :tongue: It's just.... Why? I sort of hate rules without a reason. Simply tradition is the justification? But then the tradition is tied to so many negative stereotypes....

But really, that is perhaps for another thread, as this one is about the specialized category of elevator etiquette.

Speaking of which....



It has been a little while. And I don't remember where the one a month or two was anyway. Might have been SMF. I have to admit I get confused sometimes. :001_rolle

So maybe it would be not a bad idea, to discuss points like the above.

-Mo

Mo,

No offense meant, but I'm guessing you are a YANKEE! In the south, we are taught to do things a certain way. To respect women, our elders, etc.

Randy

[moses]

No offense meant, but I'm guessing you are a YANKEE! In the south, we are taught to do things a certain way. To respect women, our elders, etc.

:cursing: :gun_bandana: :gun_bandana: :gun_bandana: :gun_bandana: :gun_bandana: :gun_bandana: :cowboy:

GOOD LORD RANDY!!! Don't call me that! I've not been teased about my accent for four years now through law school out west, and work in NYC, and been DAMNED PROUD OF IT, to have my southerness questioned by someone who can't hear me talking. Sure, I'm not from the deep south, but from southern VA, with both parents from Vaguely the Raleigh area. In my admittedly short 27 years, I've NEVER had anyone suggest I was a D***ed Yankee (no offense to you all from the North). Or question whether I was a gentleman, either.

I WAS raised to have manners! Now you have gone and insulted my Mama too. And you did NOT want to do that. She raised my to respect women, my elders, and everyone else who should be respected. But she also raised me to 1) ask questions, and 2) RESPECT women.

-Mo

Edit: Oh yeah. Almost forgot to mention that I started another thread for discussion of the underlying question. Got a little hot under the collar there....

[newtowetshaving]

Mo,

No offense meant, but I'm guessing you are a YANKEE! In the south, we are taught to do things a certain way. To respect women, our elders, etc.

Randy


So you don't respect your fellow man? What happened to the concept of brotherhood?

A true gentleman helps those who need it and does not discriminate based on gender.