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Zen and the Art of Lawn Maintenance

Porgy Tirebiter

Porgy Tirebiter

I've never had what could be called a nice front lawn. The torment began about ten years ago when the city installed a lamp-post on my boulevard and replaced the grass with lousy sod. Weedy, and apparently grub filled, the sod pretty much did a number on much of the front lawn and started on the neighbour's. Weeded, Killex, what have you only made things worse. Last fall I sprayed nematodes on both mine, and the neighbour's grass. This spring, no grubs!
Now onto the chewed all to rat-crap grass and the creeping charlie infestation. Unbeknownst to me, the wifely unit in a fit of pity for me, signed up for regular Weed Man visits. Unbeknownst to her, I arranged to have a dumptruck of topsoil, uhhh, dumped on our sad lawn and I bought a huge bag of peat moss and an even huger bag of lawn seed. A furious night in late May shoveling, spreading, mixing in the peat and a savage over-seeding resulted in the next month and a half of almost religious watering, tending and nurturing to the point where I could safely run a freshly sharpened (thanks, lapping compound!) reel mower over the thick grass. With the wet, cool summer we had, I didn't experience the usual August burn, and the grass out front looked great. Even the regular Weed Man visits were helpful.
Then the wifely unit bought an electric lawn edger. I didn't think we needed one just yet, but it was on sale. Now, Weed Man told us that the soil needed aerating (probably due to my psychotic lawn rolling after seeding). Spend four hundred bucks for that? I don't think so.
I'm on holiday this week, and with time on my hands, I thought, what the heck, let's aerate...but my way. I put the lawn edger together this morning and sliced relatively even lines in my nice lawn, much to the amusement of the folks across the street. When I was done, it looked like Freddy Krueger had scraped his hand across the lawn. Back to TSC for another huge bag of grass seed and five bags of topsoil. A mix of peat moss and topsoil, and hand tossing the seed, followed by a couple laps of the seed spreader and a healthy watering, and more of the same in the backyard and I'm done...for now. I'm going back for a light watering once the sun goes down tonight and will continue this for a couple weeks.
Soon I'll have a really nice lawn.
With all this work going on today I had time to think and came to the conclusion this slavish devotion to precise grooming of my lawn is an offshoot of my slavish devotion to shaving. I really wouldn't have had the patience to go all out in this lawn maintenance project if I didn't have the same patience I've developed since beginning wetshaving last winter.
Anyone else have the same sort moment of Zen with any other "chore" with what you've learned through taking the time each day while shaving?
 
abragus

abragus

I wanted to apply the "traditional" lifestyle to my yard work as well. Bought a reel mower from Sears for $50 and boy that didn't go far.
Spent $150 at Lowe's a week later for a mower with a motor and couldn't be happier.
Virginia grass is way thicker than the stuff we had in CA.
 
oakeshott

oakeshott

My first house was in a typical subdivision at the end of cul de sac and was a new build. I remember my neighbor, who I eventually learned was a lawn freak, came over one day when I was mowing and offered his help with my dandelions. I didn't cotton to his message right then and started to tell him how much I loved dandelions and that some weeds are just flowers with bad press. I went on about how I even mowed around them so I could see them bloom into those puffballs that eventually float away on the wind (and into his yard).

The poor man didn't know what to say. He had an expression that one imagines on the face of a person who's just learned that Charles Manson won parole and is moving in next door. We were great neighbors and I met my wife because I played on his Darts team, but he was glad to see me go and of that I've little doubt.

The only other thing about which I have remotely this patience was when I was training my bird dog. She's retired now and the last 10 years she spent training me so that's about it.
 
Edcculus

Edcculus

I took a bit of a different route with my front lawn this year. First, I despise yard work.

So to take away from a lot of the "power" tool aspect of it, I'm slowly converting my lawn into eatible landscaping and larger flower beds where I can plant native SC wildflowers.

Any lawn that is left, we've been weeding by hand. Takes a little longer, but is actually a good family activity in the spring and early summer. Those nights paid off. My lawn is virtually weed free compared to all of the neighbors who spray. With no weeds I only have to run my reel mower over it every 2 weeks.
 
T

thematthatter

I grew up in the country where you mowed your yard every 3 months, or when the grass reached the windows, which ever was earlier.

The front yard was way to big to do with a push mower so we just mowed couple hundred feet out just to keep the snakes away from the house.

I never grew up with an appreciation for landscaping. My grass at my current house is mowed by housing company, and due to the shade, leaves and sandy soil is mostly soil anyways.
 
Kazeryu

Kazeryu

Sorry, as long as it's green and shorter than my ankles I'm pretty content. Maybe that's a kind of zen approach of its own?
 
pault

pault

As long as it's green they come and mow, if it ever dies I'll cancel lawn mowing. I'm done mowing on my own. Wife convinced me to get service , to hot in fl to do it all year myself
 
K

kongar

I can relate, there's satisfaction to grooming a perfect lawn - much like a good shave. Water often. Fertilize often. Insect control often. Don't cut too much at once and stress out your lawn. And lime your lawn - lawns love lime. But all of that is major work, so if you do it - bravo and enjoy your lawn.

Pro tip: go to your local dairy farm. Pay them the going rate (yes you have to pay for this) and have them deliver a full dump truck or two of fresh cow manure. Get out your pitchfork and spread it around liberally. Do this in early spring. Prepare to mow the worlds thickest, greenest, fasting growing lawn in the neighborhood every other day ;)
 
Kazeryu

Kazeryu

kongar said:
I can relate, there's satisfaction to grooming a perfect lawn - much like a good shave. Water often. Fertilize often. Insect control often. Don't cut too much at once and stress out your lawn. And lime your lawn - lawns love lime. But all of that is major work, so if you do it - bravo and enjoy your lawn.

Pro tip: go to your local dairy farm. Pay them the going rate (yes you have to pay for this) and have them deliver a full dump truck or two of fresh cow manure. Get out your pitchfork and spread it around liberally. Do this in early spring. Prepare to mow the worlds thickest, greenest, fasting growing lawn in the neighborhood every other day ;)
Click to expand...

Of course, you may not be able to enjoy it while hiding from your neighbour's wrath...
 
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