A local man went completely berserk this afternoon after a barber finished his haircut off with a generous splash of Clubman® brand after shave lotion. The haircut and ensuing rampage took place at Sean's Barber Shop in North Quincy, resulting in one man being arrested in a nearby wooded area, and the scent of Clubman® wafting across Hancock Street.
Shawn Pencil, 39, of Elm Avenue, was charged with reckless endangerment of an entire city, ruthless sucker-punching of civilians, and operating in a non-Clubman® demeanor post-haircut. Authorities who arrived at the scene, however, all agreed that the back of Pencil's neck was as smooth as a recently divorced wife's bikini line.
Pencil, originally from Charlestown, claims to have moved from the Boston Proper area a short time ago due to the constant aroma of Clubman® in the air, rumored to have started after local hardcore legend and Cambridge Elks Lodge show promoter, Jimmy Flynn, began finding it amusing to cover everything north of Boston with the notorious orange flower and geranium infused after shave.
------
The Quincy Scallion - June 2009
